United States Armed Services Elite Division
Founded December 25th 2074
With all the fighting within Seattle and the revolution focusing on King County as of late those rebel fighters within Seattle have decided that the Emerald City needs to have it’s own quick response tactical unit that will be ready to take up arms in her defense at a moments notice. The leaders of the rebellion and the cities Mayor Mortimer Krieghoff have decided that General Ralph Rivers of the Waterways Military Compound and Colonel Norman Patton would be placed in direct command of this elite fighting force with Colonel Patton being the Executive Officer and General Ralph Rivers being the Commanding Officer.
This Military Unit will be stationed within the newest expanse of the Waterways Military Compound and as the unit grows we will continue to update this page. The known roster is currently small though with the vast number of capable warriors within Seattle and the many civilians looking to join the fight for freedom this unit will soon become quite large as already reports indicate that Rivers and Patton are currently vetting hundreds of applications and it seems that Colonel Patton might be sending many to basic training within Fort Lewis before advanced training would commence.
Little is known about the Emerald City Elite as this unit has just begun and Colonel Patton is just grouping the warriors together and figuring out the logistics of a quick response unit and balancing the members other responsibilities. General Rivers at the helm has this reporter very thrilled as he has proven himself a great friend of Seattle and someone that always has our best interests at heart and someone that will not abuse his authority like General O’Brian once did.
Though we have just discovered from sources that General Ralph Rivers will be promoted to the Supreme General Of The Freedom Patriots and given the entire Western, Northern and Central North America under his command and as well will be President Elect Oliver McKeen’s first choice for White House Chief of Staff and The Head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. This will surly divide General Rivers focus but if anyone can handle the pressure it is Canal and his unyielding personality.
Colonel Norman Patton will be the field commander of the Emerald City Elite and as well responsible for the training programs and hiring the drill instructors. The two commanders have invested millions of credits into the vast expansion of the Waterways Military Compound and according to sources within Fort Lewis they hope to have the doors open before the New Year and have the first platoon of Elite ready if we suffer another terrorist attack.
Will the Emerald City Elite be able to handle the pressure well only time will tell and with the Emerald City Defenders being among the first Militia Unit to accept the mantle of the Elite and we know that all units under the command of General Ralph Rivers and within the Waterways Military Compound will as well be part of this elite order. Though the known members are below, we have left General Rivers off this list seeing that he is only the commanding officer and will rarely be in the field with the rest of the field agents.
<<<Oh Crap on a shingle….Somebody is going to pay for this shit. Nice words were said but damn where is the fucking leak, seriously this shit was classified information and it was classified for a fucking reason. This is going to have some serious repercussions, I am not sure there is enough damage control that can undo the gaping hole in the security this leak created. I will be personally handling this shit storm and when it hits you can bet your pale ass somebody is getting hanged for treason…..CLASSIFIED MEANS CLASSIFIED!! What part of TOP SECRET do you clowns not understand? I love the media but seriously, enough is enough. Leaks like this get people killed and sink ships. Well the damage is done and what is done can’t be undone; I can just hope that I have enough duct tape and I can jury rig a fix before this entire thing goes kaboom and we end up dead……Gremlin Out>>>
<<< Sir, I just saw the uploaded data. I am on it immediately, this breach of data will not stand and this leak will be discovered and quickly sealed. The rats neck will be stretched for risking the lives of countless citizens and soldiers alike. Worry not Sir, I will reach out to my contacts and figure this issue out and solve it before it grows out of control Sir….Broadcast Out>>>
<<< Alright, at least we know that guy is legit to give some of our intelligence. You stupid Freedom Patriot fucks, we are everywhere. Kill two of us and you will discover four more. All that the Hound is doing is showing those who think we are false that we are true. We will fill in some of the missing blanks in the bios below. Broadcast, you outdated piece of tin, you can’t stop us. Just sit back and watch all the lies and deceit you have helped construct fall apart. Like the Cherry Blossoms you asshats already had your blooming, time to die off. Fuck off Gremlin, we will start with you first!… The True Demure >>>
The United Front
The US Elite
To Understand the Ranks and Abbreviations click on the provided link: (Military Ranking Structure)
Col. Norman Patton (Gremlin): Lets begin with one of the top Freedom Patriot commanders. His top credit may just be what he revealed recently, that he made the shit show that is the Harbingers. Didn’t know he was connected to them so directly. And here I thought I would have to spend time explaining why he is evil, but he openly admits he helped develop the team that fosters multiple villains of the top 10 most wanted on almost EVERY country and location! Hell, Ralph has even outshone Powder Keg! Let me put this in perspective, this asshole is proud of developing a general that went onto devastate Europe, a corrupt cop that now affects multiple cities, and the number 1 most wanted person on the planet! Thanks Gremlin, I like it when people do my job for me. Just to remind all of you, but Gremlin has also gotten his own hands dirty in gallons of blood. He has been assassinating elves and Native Americans since they first got their revenge. That’s right, this cigar smoking shitbag can dish out the punishment, but he can’t take it. He is just a whiny piece of trash like his boss Colonial.
CPT. Carter O’Hair (Vagabond): I was truly sad when I saw this. I really did have hopes that Vagabond would finally show his true colors and end his undercover work when his father passed away, but it seems he has gotten Stockholm syndrome. It really is sad to think that the last living relative of James O’Brian would become one of these terrible genocidal maniacs. For those who don’t know, Vagabond was only a small child when the well known terrorist Bug kidnapped him from his home. He would have grown up to be a wonderful man and carry on his true father’s legacy, but these cowards are afraid of us raising our own children. They fear us passing on the truth of what they do. Despicable scumbuckets. To Carter, I’m sorry for whatever terrors that maniac put you through. I’m sure your real family never stopped looking for you, at least until the same bastards put a bullet in him.
GA. Ralph Rivers (
Canal Conductor): Interesting that the overseer of this group is listed third on the page. Maybe we are looking at a Mr. Black situation here with a shadow leader (thank you “Mitch” for those files – you truly WERE a patriot). Well, if we are to believe the words of another mass murderer on the Harbingers page we should believe that good ol’ “Ralph” is a kind hearted man who was a teacher for many years. He conducted music in the schools and got his name. Yeah, cause schoolteachers are four star fucking generals! Let me clue you in on the what the leader of the cleaning agency Railroad was actually doing in the schools. He was trying to brainwash the kids into joining the patriots of course! You think that Thirteen, a rough rider, the Counselor, a member of the patriots, and General Rivers, the leader of the Rough Riders, were just there teaching?! If that were true I’d eat my fuckin shoes! You don’t place key leaders and soldiers into positions like that without an ulterior motive! Now, I don’t know where the name Canal comes from, but I would be willing to bet it was just an attempt to get away from his handle “Conductor” so that his association with the railroad can be forgotten by the streets. Well, not on my watch you genocidal maniac! We will never let you get away from your past! Die in hell with your pet tigers.
Lt. Col. Maximilian Yates (Doodle):
CPT. Wilson McAndrews (Highway): A new entry into the list. Sadly it came after I posted Outbreak, but you can add him to the list with Morbias of Post Office Members on this group. It is known throughout the streets that if you work with Highway it always has to be his way. Well, this time it isn’t and he can fuck off if he doesn’t like it. Highway is one of the pieces of shit known on the street as a fixer/dealer. He has so many snakes hiding in the grasses of corporations and the UCAS military that when he wants to he can get a hold of almost anything you need. Whether it be priceless magical artifacts (well, nothing is priceless…) or the latest technology in warfare he can get it. If it isn’t his specialty, it will cost more, but he can get it. Well, this traitorous piece of street garbage is now aiding the “Seattle Elite”, or more accurate the “Elite Traitors of the Free World”. You see, Seattle is full of some of the most powerful rebels on the planet. In truth the UCAS should just remove it like they did Denver and solve an incredible number of problems, but I guess they haven’t gotten wind of the bug infestations that are present. Well, it isn’t a surprise to see a fixer pop into a rebel alliance. Where there is money to be made there will be cockroaches. Now we just have to wait for Simon and Tang to show up and we will have the Seattle Trifecta. War mongering slime buckets they are.
1LT. Robert Chadwick (Outbreak): Ah, the maniac that is Outbreak. Originally it was thought that this man had no affiliations to any of the major groups, but his presence here means that he is at least either Patriots or Post Office (we see you on this list Morbias – you cannot hide from the True Demure). This maniac has made his living off the pain and suffering of others. Now, I know this is nothing new at first glance, but Outbreak is a different kind of bastard. You see, most of the assholes in the shadows use revolution or bigotry to justify what they do. This heel? He just fucking loves it. He may blame his hatred, but don’t be fooled. He will bring disasters to regions for little to no cred just to enjoy his time. His degrees make him even more dangerous. Toxicoloy? Check. Virology? Check. Chemistry? Check. Lets just say that playing with chemicals is one of his specialties. Afterall, where did you think he got his name? Duh! Beware, for when he is around you can expect disease to spread like a cancer – for he has fused the two of them.
SGT. Rakkash Darwish (Chauffeur): Need a lift? Don’t get one here. Not sure what the “unaligned” Chauffer is doing in this group, but it can’t be anything good. This man is one vile piece of garbage. He spends his time working for limo companies, but when customers get in his rig he decides whether he will drop them off where they want to go or in the blood stained waters of the river. If you enter his limo you may be treated to a lovely cocktail and a mint. You may also be treated to a locked cabin and sleep gas. Once you are unconscious you are his to do as he pleases with. Whether it be rape, murder, incriminating photos, torture, or any other whim he can do what he wants. Then after he either kills you, blackmails you, or ruins you. If the rebels were trying to appear as a “legitimate” militia, then they have definitely let the cat out of the bag to their true intentions. All they do is rape, pillage, plunder, and kill. Do you know when the last time a UCAS soldier that was captured left Fort Lewis alive? I’ll tell you, right before the second battle of Seattle! Since then the Patriot’s “good guys” have been executing prisoners left and right. Guess who is the ranking general in charge. That’s right, General Ralph Rivers. Coincidence? I don’t fucking think so!
SSG. Rudolph Malone (Gentleman):
No information is known about the Gentleman other than that he is a member of the Cajun Mafia. See his profile here for details. When they are uploaded (if I’m still alive) I will update this page.
Ah, speaking of a “gentleman”, lets discuss one of the most broken cogs of the government. This Cajun trash heap has been infiltrating and manipulating our government for decades. He has served on the Senate manipulating committees and votes alongside his brother Dump Shock for as long as the UCAS has been around. While we have known that for a while, what we didn’t always know is that he was also an original Sentinel. That’s right folks, the kindly Senator is a master killer who can be grouped up with monsters such as Checkmate, Professor, Safari, and the Crimson Ghost. So much for progressive thinking southerners, they hate elves and metas as much as the HRM! Worse, he is known to be close friends with Rags (who is now also a member of this order) who runs the Kingsman from the shadows (see his profile for full details). What England has to do with these people I will get to later, but for now just know that they certainly have an interest. I wouldn’t be surprised if both this man and his brothers were all members of that order, but I don’t have any files on that yet. Oh, and if that weren’t bad enough this man is the one who got all the legislation for this group passed even though he is a member of the command structure. Just remember, this branch was started on nepotism and conflict of interests, and therefore is bound to fall to corruption if it hasn’t already.
CPT. Jack Malone (Inquisitor): ADA Jack Malone, once thought to be the pinnacle of law has shown quite a few of his true bloodstained colors. First off, he is a member of the Cajun Mafia. Yes, the damned MAFIA! He is supposed to stop crime, yet all he does is further their agenda and perpetrate it! Second, he is blatantly a member of the Patriots – even before his listing here. He has been sweeping their records under the rug for decades. Ever wonder why Switch Doctor or Nightshade aren’t hunted? It’s because their cases almost never even make it to the court docket! They rape Seattle of her people and resources blatantly, and yet they never even deal with the heat of the police! Any legal bone that is in this man is used to molest and defile the law, not protect and serve it. It is no surprise that he is a part of an illegal militia. 50 cred says they will be “sanctioned” within the next few weeks. As the freedoms and liberties of those who live legally continue to get demolished so do our chances of survival. Just another example of the Freedom Patriots treating our system like a $2 call girl.
CPT. Sid Malone (Dump Shock):
No information is known about Dump Shock other than that he is a member of the Cajun Mafia. See his profile here for details. When they are uploaded (if I’m still alive) I will update this page.
Well now, looks like some information has surfaced about Dump Shock, so let us update our details regarding this piece of trash. Turns out there is quite a bit of information regarding Sid here, and most of it is quite disturbing. The first revelation is somewhat horrifying. First, this Cajun has spent a lot of time in England. Now, there are many dangerous individuals in England, but he has hung around the worst of the worst. He is a Sentinel from the original battle! In addition to that, he has been known to hang around Rags as his personal servant who is a known member of the Kingsman, which means there are also ties to the Presidents Men. These three orders seem to be thick as thieves, as was shown last year when then President Lyndon Kingsbury’s plane went down and all three groups came to his aid. Now, if that were not bad enough, this man has also involved himself in conflicts locally. He has been known to change or fix elections on a whim. With this garbage within the Elite you can assume that the rebels will never again lose an election, and that they will be getting plenty of help from the across the pond. Goodbye freedom!
MAJ. Brady Krieghoff (Tang): Well Holy Fucking Hell! I was joking above in Highway’s profile, but Tang signed on! And Publicly at that! This man is as dangerous as all the other members combined. Why? Because anyone worth the time to write about is either a client of his or one of his apprentices. What does that mean you ask? That means he can utter one sentence and every runner on the streets will converge to remove whatever he is unhappy with. Why? Because there is nothing more dangerous on the streets than needing a piece of equipment and no fixer being willing to sell it to you. It spells certain doom to even the most skilled operator. With Tang on the Board of Directors for numerous major corporations and archologies he can bring a level of hurt that you cannot even imagine to any problem. It is unknown what his personal level of skill is, but with the list of contacts he has (aka ALL OF THEM) there is never a reason for him to lift a fingernail. We don’t even know what his preferred weapon is. It should be a god damned pocket secretary though. Fucking Krieghoff assholes, of course they got their mitts in this one too.
LTG. Richter Krieghoff (Overlord): Speaking of Krieghoff refuse, the Overlord has joined the fray of this group as well. If Tang is the power and money behind the family, this man is the iron fist. He runs the family like its own military unit. Except his weapon of choice is the contacts that he has and running others out of the city. This family is known to be upset with someone and simply shut off the food and water to their area of the city. These assholes are essentially the remaining crap from the Death’s Hand. They use the same tactics as several of the regional generals. Take out the crosses and they are basically the same group. Hell, they are basically connected to all of the same family lines. They even have the same god damned symbol for crying out loud. How does nobody see this connection? Obviously the idea is to turn this group into the resurrection of the Death’s Hand! They will teach them the tactics and try to bring back the terror that spread across Europe. Beware, they are down, but not out. If we are not careful the Hand will return.
SSG. Victor Stone (God): I see we have moved from the despicable to the arrogant. For those who would call our hero Legion arrogant (which is obviously false – he is fighting for our salvation!) this asshole is the fuckin worst! Ever heard of the pot calling the kettle black? Well this is a god damned pieced of pure Onix; he’s black as coal and only semi-precious. This self-important ignoramus has the gall to call himself “God”. Well congratulations “God”, if you sneak in the shadows and hide on buildings you can cowardly kill anyone from a mile away. Last I checked the real God showed up in person and struck people down. You’re nothing more than a fearful child too afraid to take on your targets head on. The game you play? Ha! As if your ability to move undetected from afar meant that you were any better than anyone else. Snipers are dangerous, to that I can agree. But if you want to see a god in battle take a look at your commander. I may not like him, but nobody can claim that the Conductor with his axe and sword in hand is anything other than a war god. Take your sniveling, childish, and perpetual inferiority complex and get a dick enhancement.
MSG. Union Jamestown (Harvest): Now we get to the true power players behind this new unit. Harvest is one of the most dangerous cleaners alive. When Colonial started the cleaner school to fabricate removal specialists this man was the founding Headmaster. He has taught nearly all of the best in business, including the Death Bringer. Now with their Godfather as the President of the UCAS they will slowly, but surely, destroy the infrastructure of this country. With one strike of his blade or shot of his gun, he can end nearly any individual on the planet. Worse, they will never see him. Legend has it that he is so stealthy even his song forgets he is there sometimes. If this leech of the system is present then it will surely spell downfall for all who oppose this unit. There is a hierarchy of families on this planet. The Krieghoffs are a problem for Seattle, but the Jamestown family can chase you anywhere on North America. Though we can be happy that the group of families that can chase you anywhere have only sent their whelps to this group, so if you are out of the country you are safe. For the Grimm can chase you anywhere. May we pray that only a child and a Weinstock get involved here. There is a reason I have kept my tongue civil in this profile, I need to keep it a bit longer.
2LT. Michael Sharpe (Techie): Techie – a strange name for an old school Rough Rider. Normally one thinks of the short bastard Beechworth when talking about old school. Well Techie, you’re secret is unfortunately (for you) nothing but obvious for me fucker. “Serrated Sabre” for a Rough Rider? Hah! That is the signature weapon of the Railroad you foolish imbecile. If you don’t want to be discovered for the master cleaner you are then I suggest you become proficient with another weapon. Or don’t, it bothers me not whether you make my job fuckin easy as shit. Keep your stupid little toys over in the kids isle at Walmart, for this is the shadows and only the adults should be playing around. A deep green tie. I know that purple used to mean Hand, maybe green is linked to an organization as well. I will have to look into this deeper. We may not know what song follows you, but I’m sure we will find out in battle. Just keep playing toy soldier in this order and we will find out……
COL. Wilbur Gravel MD (Samael): I see that every time I get a profile up another name is added. Interesting choice in this piece of crap. Who in their right mind would want the angel of death running their medical tent I don’t know, but these guys have him. All we can hope is that he is enough of a backstabbing charlatan to kill his own men. Now, don’t get me wrong, Samael is a known Rough Rider and that means he can hold his own. But this man, he doesn’t front line fight. He is a doctor who made his name by slicing the throats of helpless patients in the night while they slept. Make sure you heard that correct. This fucking asshole kills his own patients while they are in his care! Or they would be getting an exam from him and he would decide to specialize in “internal” medicine that night. He would remove the elite of Seattle through tricking them into thinking he was taking care of their health. This is one of the most despicable runners on the planet! Other than Spade (who is also on this list). The ever pragmatic angel of death stalking the night. Bringing fear with him as he goes to terrorize the public. May this terrible piece of human waste find his way to a gutter with Khan and stops breathing.
Lord COL. Marvin Yates (Accountant): Well fuck me in the ass with a goddamned pole. Originally I mentioned that I was glad only the whelp and the red headed step child of Grimm were here, and now we have one of the four that were originally sighted with the group! The accountant is a word class assassin who, like his father likes to fuck around with chemicals like they are his bitch and he can hide them from his wife. This man has made a living out of hiding in his younger brothers shadow in order to make the world think he is unimportant (sound like any other Yates you have heard of in this page?). Then, when your guard is down he swoops in and fuckin guts you like a goddamned turkey dinner. You are cut cunt or dick to throat and served on a silver platter. Your gizards are even removed for the fucking gravy. This is actually a strange occurrence with this man, along with others from the Grimm, in that they are serving on a team with both of the snot nosed brats of their clan. Normally they just pull them in to have someone else babysit in their stead through inheritance rights (see Toad and Sentinels as interlocking nodes @x8349207). In this case they are actually working side by side with one of their progeny. AND! There is an AND! Their child could be higher rank than them! It is unsure since nothing has been released, but given that it is their kid’s successor’s team it is possible. Maybe even a first in history! Hold onto the seat of your pants bitches, a new situation is coming to town. And nobody knows what will happen with this one.
Col. Tracy Appleton (Set): <Forgot to add me..Set Out> Well, at least I got my composure back from the last one…. *flicker* What the hell? Oh god, well I thought I was writing on Brigadier. Guess I was wrong! Now who is this here…. No. Just no. Tell me it’s a lie. How did he get here? We saw him on the list and didn’t put him up for a reason. Is that a selfie?! This order was already a problem, but Set joined? Its all over. On the bright side, none of the recruits will survive the training if he is involved. This man is a monster in all forms of combat whether physical, magical, or firearms. What is even worse is he trained all of the monstrously proficient tacticians that are still around. This is the man who trained Alexander the Great, and he nearly took over the entire planet! This isn’t good, if he is part of this order then you can be sure that he is much more than your average Colonel. There isn’t a tactical mind that can match him on the planet. If it weren’t for his insane tendencies he would be a 6 star general, and those don’t even exist! That’s how legendary and incredible this man is. All those who don’t wish to be oppressed by this unit, hope has just been lost.
Gen Howell Winslow (Brigadier): Back to what I thought I was writing on, the Brigadier. This man is a ghost from the past much like many of the individuals here. I’m starting to think this should have been called the graveyard, because that’s where nearly every member here belongs – buried 6 feet under. This is quite concerning because this man might actually be able to balance out the insanity of the man above. He is capable of whipping anyone into the shape of a soldier. Be on the lookout for this man, for he will surprise you. Tactics from the old days and ages past are still quite dangerous. What is worse is that you cannot detect a surprise attack if they aren’t using the technology you can scan for to kill you.
MG. Tudor Yates (Professor): Alright, now this is just ridiculous. This man was the number 2 of the Death’s Hand that just attacked the country a month ago. He is number 8 on the internationally most wanted list. This group is collecting those fuckers like damn pokemon! Literally (by the fact that the Storm Riders are their special forces team) half of the top ten most wanted list is on this team. If you then count the allied teams and organizations that are directly known to work with them you can add up to 7 of them directly participating in potential missions! And if you don’t think that Crash will come with the Rejects and Cutter with the Tribe then you are dead fucking wrong. The only unconnected member of the top 10 is Safari, and with this man’s son having been a member of the HRM in the past even that is debatable. The Professor, well, he really doesn’t need a bio here. This man has been on the biggest jobs that have existed from the Judicial Mishap to the Titanic. He has conquered countries and even continents. His only loss in combat is to a pirate, and since this group won’t be doing much sea battling there isn’t much hope for us that they will engage again. Though since there are no pirates of any clan on this team (at least at this time – I know how this bullshit works) it is possible that one day we will be lucky enough for the Sea Wolves to slay the dreaded Man in White. Fuck you Tudor, and your entire family for that matter!
1 Lt. Horatio Schiff (Misfit): Now now, what do we have here. Some pack involvement? Just great. Well, where there is one there will be many. This group will end up controlling the police department inside of Seattle. This is especially true since the current commissioner is on this list now, though I will get to that scumbag later. The Misfit is a legend of decking known worldwide for screwing over every individual he comes into contact with. From stealing credits from the working man to toppling companies the Misfit has done nearly every decker operation that exists. There are rumors that he has started and stopped world wars based on the information he selects to either omit or include in his reports to Colonial. Speaking of which, did you think The Pack was neutral?! Misfit is one of Colonial’s private deckers!!! Rumor has it that he personally secures his cellular device! You don’t get that type of access and trust without being a member of that order through and through. Well, then again we knew that this order was Patriots anyway since the leader is the head of the Rough Riders. Scumbags through and through. These rebels just rape our country of its resources and think nothing of it.
CPT. Elmer Canterbury (Curmudgeon): Well now, this is a new name on my list. Lets take a look at his profile…. Oh good god, what the fuck is a custom plasma sword?! Weren’t those god damned things already custom? Ok, reading more. Lets see, so hes Mitch’s butt buddy. Well, that’s one place to stick a mitch… Oh god, he stuck his mitch in Mitch’s kid? Alright, this is getting too confusing. Stupid family nonsense amongst the rebels. Feels like they are always intertwining families to get access to more allies and contacts. What the hell is Stage 5? We knew Mitch had been playing both sides of the field since the rebels took him in so quickly. Oh good god, how did that get out? Wait, wasn’t he….. Oh god, this is bad. Fuck you Curmudgeon, you old crotchety bastard. You and your traitorous ways will find their way to the noose. How can you claim to be working for the betterment of the country if you are spying on the government that you are a spy for? Fuck all you damn rebels, why can’t you let progress and understanding take over this country instead of bringing it back to the dawn of fucking time.
Col. Theodore Chapel (Category 5): Well now, here is a horrifying individual. If you thought the rebels do nothing but protect us, just remember this man is in their order. He is so overly destructive that he is literally called a fucking storm. He enters an area and a crisis emerges. Whether its biological weapons, explosions, implosions, or the biggest of boom booms this man creates a mini apocalypse wherever he goes. When Denver went down you can be sure he was on the payroll. We may not have any proof officially, but if you are looking for people to remove an entire city this man is definitely going to be on the roster. In fact, this order (through having the storm riders) has access to some of the most potent explosive experts on the planet. If they utilize their connections from the groups they belong to they might be able to literally remove any location from the map. If the elected officials get removed or don’t pan out the way this order wants you can be sure that the FDC will no longer be on the map. They are sore losers and with this man they have shown they have no morals.
CPT. Montgomery Hilliard (Silencer): Well, I’d like to say I’m surprised, but I’m not. This piece of trash is a member of the Texas Elite, and as such deserves the respect they have earned – none! They are a bunch of racist pieces of garbage who hunt Indians and “False Flags” like they are wild animals. They are prejudice against anything non-human and even have a local chapter of the KKK in their home state. They are as far from progressive and intelligent as can be. Even those in the runner world know that what’s in Texas should stay in Texas. Hell, even Snoopy ran from Richmond in order to get away from the insanity and they are the “civilized” part of the south (side note, family connections possible based on name, need to look into this….). Silencer himself is a world known assassin who gained his moniker by walking into buildings and removing every form of life within them. Even the cockroaches and flies were turned into nothing more than dead husks. The fact that they are allowing trash into this order is infuriating. If this is to be the newest branch of the UCAS government then it needs reliable leaders and officers. Yet, all I see here is terrorists known the world over. If this is what our government is going to become, then we are all doomed. These fools talk about the “false past”, but they are dooming themselves to repeat their folly. They will make the same mistakes that got them removed from power in the first place.
1LT. T.J. Kissinger jr (Legend): Ah, the lying bastard known as Legend. This piece of work comes from an interesting family line, that of the Kissingers. Except, despite what lies he may spew, he is the son of the Economist. Recently I was able to get a hold of a recording of this man in a bar with the Sky Devils. They were pretty blasted, so there wasn’t much holding back. Not sure what got his goat, but he seemed especially pissed. So, apparently this “legend” is nothing more than a weakling. A “Nancy Boy” that cannot take care of himself. A child that needs others to make him capable of standing. Hyped up by his Uncle to be the best around, but when the going gets tough he does nothing more than break down and put his family in front of him to take the hit. The day his family was brought to justice by the Freedom Task Force he was spared through nothing more than luck and the repeated incompetence of Agent White (a pattern among his assassinations). When called out for being nothing more than a foolish child his Uncle’s friend uses the murder, destruction, and “act” done to his cousin as a way to refocus attention instead of looking at what is directly in front of us. How many people have the Dragons, the Tenessee Elite, and the rebels killed? How many thousands have been threatened, extorted, or even hunted like animals? Then, when the karmic universe comes back to find them, they cry wolf. Nobody feels sorry that your family was destroyed, only that you survived. If you all wish to tell the truth, then you don’t get to skip the parts that are convenient to be left out.
<<<Whelp…..I have watched carefully as you spew the vile lies about those that have volunteered for service within the US Elite. You have spewed nothing but opinions and lies and seeing that I value the freedom of press and information I have stayed silent till now. You have crossed the line here with Legend, he is not a man to underestimate nor anger, this young man has been through more than you can imagine whelp. So Nerf Herder report verifiable facts or suffer under the might of censorship and know this I am watching and you have become someone that I am now keeping a watchful eye on Nerf Herder……Mitch Out>>>
CPT. Jet Kissinger (City): Screw you Director Mitchell, you were once a noble man serving the country you agreed to help. Now you are one of the despicable Harbingers, working for a team that is connected to nearly every top 10 wanted felon in one way or another. You can’t silence me, and you have no idea where I am. You aren’t even a decker! You’re just a CIA agent with an axe to grind for no reason. Speaking of not being silenced, lets talk about the runner known as City. This young woman may be gorgeous, but by terms of the south she has been spoiled… Her father has kept her well endowed with cyber and bio and The Pack has kept the little lady safe. While she may have matured into a hardened killer, she still runs around as her father’s little princess. She has even been able to quell the rage within Ducky by simply saying hello and playing the dainty child. Too bad with her contacts she will never be more than just a girl playing in her dad’s world. Though maybe she can teach her cousin to man up and be like her. Then maybe he would get his own father’s respect instead of hiding with his Uncle. Enjoy the city City, cause it has been handed to you on a silver platter. Maybe you should try earning something yourself.
<<<Well, Well looks like I stuck a nerve with you little Nerf Herder, if you not careful you will be nothing more than Bantha Fodder. Believe what you must about me though understand this whelp, I am not the one you must fear for anger leads to hate and hate leads to well you get the drift and we all must rest our weary heads and allow for our brains to reset and let the bliss of sleep bring us rejuvenation. Keep spewing lies and deception and your mortal soul will become forever tainted and when death awaits you, their will be no chance to atone for ones sins. This is a simple warning whelp, I stated once before report facts and leave your opinion for the rumour boards or suffer the consequences of your actions….this is your final warning Gravel Maggot…..Mitch Out>>>
MAJ. J. Kevin Mitchell (Mitch): Now we get to Mitch. The infamous traitor of the UCAS. Now, most of the rat bastards on this page have been screwing our beloved country for decades, but this man is special. He has been one of the shining knights of the CIA and NSA for many years. He has brought death and destruction to those who have held our nation hostage. He even gave the orders and protocols to what “happened” (aka justice) to both of the above individuals who he has been posting rebuttals to! The funniest part of this whole bullshit situation is that the only profiles he is trying to defend are the ones based on information from the rebel’s own decker! Take a look at the profile link. All the information (other than the first hand source of the Economist from node @34rc7653) is from the notorious and wanted decker known as Edison! The information he posted is supposedly even approved by Gargoyle himself (a piece of trash which I will get to later)! Mitch, you have truly turned into your nickname. Your stage 5 is causing lies and nonsense to be spread all over. How you were able to doctor this much information is unknown, but you must have quite the rebel decker pool working for you. You claim to be reformed, but when the going gets tough you go back to your old tricks of censorship. How very UCAS of you. I can’t wait to hear of how the rebels eventually find out your true plan and hang you for it. We are working on the evidence now. Lets call it Stage 8, since we are always a few steps ahead of trash like you.
CDR. Oakley Doyle (Mister): Oh a good one, Mister is up next! Now this is a man I don’t have to do much work on. He founded and brought up the Denver Guard along with his partner the Locksmith. Ever hear of the crap that they pulled? Interrogations? Torture? False arrests? Murder? All them! They were known the world wide as horrifying bastards that skirted the law. Did I say skirt? I mean abuse and rewrite. They were the law in Denver. They put up the walls and cordoned off the different parts. They were all like countries, only the Guard ruled them all with an iron fist. Once these bastards of Ruination get into the legal system in Seattle you will be wishing for the days after the Battle for Seattle. At least then you were allowed to go outside for a little while. In Denver, when the guard was unhappy, you would be locked in your home for days. Your area could be cutoff from supplies. In truth The Hand may have been modeled after the monster this man diligently crafted. His training and teachings were legendary and the problems he created and masterminded were legendary. In the end he ended up blowing the city to hell and in style. They may be blaming James O’Brian for the sinking of Denver, but we know who it actually was. Ghost and Mister had been planning the destruction for decades due to the rebellion rising up. Recent evidence shows that he is going into deep cover within the government of the rebels in this branch in order to bring it down. He used the “sadness” of the loss of his city as a cover. He sacrificed his friends and family for his own benefit. Beware citizens, not all is as peachy keen as it seems. You see, the Demure report on both sides. We are bipartisan after all.
<<<Gravel Maggot, I feel as if you are again spewing nonsense and lies, you claim to be bipartisan and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I have been reviewing what you have written here and it is beyond one sided it actually makes me ill. You are nothing more than a troubled child with a serious ego complex, this is a dangerous issue and you will have to seriously fact check your reports before posting these rumours. Commander O’Doyle is a man of honour and integrity. His guard ended in 2065 when he was ousted by the Usurpers and James O’Brian who was a dear friend of mine for quite some time, the new Guard was one built on terror and as a way to usurp common law and decency to employ true terror as form of direct control. This was James O’Brian’s plan all along to control the people through fear and for my part of this plan I apologise. Nerf Herder please keep to known facts and stop with the needless banter and lies, if your reporting your opinion do alert the reader of that and not decree it to be fact. If you have direct evidence to back up your claims, I would be more than happy to review it otherwise stick to known verifiable evidence. I have warned you before and I am man that doesn’t like to repeat myself, whelp this is truly your last chance to save your pathetic existence, you are playing a dangerous game with people that are truly masters of the game. This is your final warning, and I won’t repeat myself again gravel maggot so if you wish to see 2075 I would stick to the facts and verifiable evidence……Mitch Out>>>
MAJ. Andrew Yates (Toad): Ah yes, claim that facts aren’t because it is good for you. Hey Asteroid, or Tesla, or whoever is giving him upload access. He’s just an annoyance, so quit it already! Now, onto the matter at hand. Ribbit Ribbit. Ribbit Ribbit. I remember this kid, Frogger’s old buddy! The two of them came out right around the same time. Even the old novels knew that Frog and Toad were always together. While it wasn’t known on the streets, they were probably friends. Especially since Tic Tac and Bilbo were friends, it makes sense that their family would have at least been acquaintances. Well, Frogger did take a bit of a different path – you know, the righteous one. Toad on the other hand went on to follow in his big brother’s footsteps. You know, in a manner similar to his dad and uncle. They hide in their family’s shadow and then strike at the heart of their enemies when nobody is paying attention. I have to admit I was surprised when I found out the rebellion was using child soldiers, but now that this team has been successful I am sure there will be many more units to come. Since they let him into the Elite as an officer (and a fairly high ranking one at that) I assume there will be a class of all kids to go through that hellish training at some point. Raping Seattle of its youth and stealing the childhood from the innocent. What a grand improvement this branch of the government this is…
CSM. Theodore Delcord (Two-Face): The hero of the South! Reforming the DiCaine bloodline one blowjob at a time! This ladies and gentleman, is Two Face. Not only is he a movie star, but he has even taken on the LA swinger lifestyle! Despite being married (happily? – probably not, she is literally named “the dog” aka a bitch) he finds himself lonely at odd times. So, when he gets a job from a Johnson, he literally gets a job from a johnson. Or gives a job with a johnson, info here isn’t 100% clear since the streets talk about it both ways – just like him. As a runner you cannot deny his record within the Mariners. He is exceptionally talented with his weaponry and has gone on many a mission. In addition, much of the artwork you see on runners these days is his own handiwork. Rumor has it that his client list as an artist is even bigger than his runner contacts. Though it’s my opinion, I suspect that they may be one and the same. You know, trading services – along with the happy ending. Well, at least we know who will be giving out the tattoos on base when the recruits graduate. You will know their performance based on the quality of their work. Can’t wait to see the crayon-like drawings on the worst of the worst in this little ragtag group.
SGT. Johnny Roman (Utah): Utah, a better state than a rigger. This wannabe Claw rides out on his rigs with absolute confidence into virtually any battle. While his skill is not within question, his morals certainly are. The Mariners have done many missions with extreme casualties and property damage. I mean, for fucks sake Claw held the entire city hostage with a Broken Arrow! These asshats are total wildcards. They will do anything for a couple of credits, and some things for even less. Their other team members are known to do even worse. Word on the street is that their decker run a lottery on who to 0 and makes a game out of it. He doesn’t even get anything from it, it just keeps his legend running. One of them even lived through a nuclear bomb! They have no care for human life and have proven time and time again that the job doesn’t matter, the morals don’t matter, just the pay does. Anyone who would be willing to lump themselves together with these nightmares cannot be trusted – and that includes this order. Look at the damage the Four Houses job did to Seattle! Look at the destruction and chaos they have caused. Hell, they assault the pyramid like most people go to a stuffer shack! If you hear this guy coming, just run. If you see him on the street and he is out of his rig, take a shot. Don’t trust him as far as you can throw him. The Mariners are nothing but a bunch of headaches and with their entry into this order it is doomed to fail. My opinion? Thank god its going to crumble from the inside, because assaulting it from the front would be nearly impossible.
COL. Benjamin Mathews (Mr. Franklin): Mr. Franklin has joined us? Well now, this can’t be good. To have both the Commissioner and the Chief of Detectives on the payroll certainly doesn’t breed corrupt cops. Well, not that it matters when we are talking about the Post Office member who corrupted the Renegade prior to his death (thanks Hound! – you know, in case anyone wants to question my sources again and be a real mitch). “Detective” Matthews has been snooping around and boggling cases for Mr. Black for decades. He has been coercing witnesses, faking evidence, and destroying the sanctity of investigations to help himself since he first began his “police” work. Now Benji here sits as the chief of detectives doing less than nothing for the citizens. Need some coffee and donuts to disappear? How about a case that will hit one of his son in laws team members? Both have the same attributes, they satisfy hunger and are expensive. While we already knew that Holmes was no good for the city (he is Stamps long term partner after all), this man speaking in his ear makes things that much worse. Well, I don’t know what is worse. Benji being on this group as a colonel, or the fact that even Rivers knows he is corrupt and didn’t assign him to the internal affairs division. Either way we know this man is useless to the group, but we also know that Mr. Black wants people in this set so he forced him onto the roster. And they say Conductor can’t be played or forced. Ha, everything has a price.
Lord MAJ. Gary Swimming (Dolphin): Aside from his title of Baron and the gruesome method of execution he employs, not much is known about the Dolphin. Check back here for more information as it becomes available.
1SG Trevor O’Malley (Rock): Time to talk about a stone in the shoe, that’s right Rock is up next. This old man is as stubborn as a stone and seems to be immune to the weathering of water. He has been saying the same old nonsense for decades about the “False Flag” this and “False Flag” that. Truthfully the only useful thing he has ever done is retire Agent White. Why would this be? Well, as it has come to light Agent White may have killed many people, but he was completely incompetent when it came to the most important targets. The list of people he assassinated that came “back to life” is like a who’s who of the rebels. One less useless agent is better for us to begin with. When it comes to Rock himself, he has been abusing the power granted to him during the Ghost Dance to destroy lives and kill the rightful owners of the native lands. He hunts like a prowler in the night to kill those who simply wanted their homes returned. He is a worthless bag of trash and won’t be stopped until he is finally put in the ground where he belongs.
SMA. Norris Davenport (Catfish): Talk about arrogant bastards, lets discuss the Catfish. This rat bastard, despite what you may think about him one way or another, is an absolute master of infiltration. This dickbag is best known for causing the vault to be built. He used to break into Supermax prisons to take out targets. Then he would leave behind evidence to let people know it was him. I say arrogant because when a nobody was captured and put into the Vault he broke in and did it again! He basically said just try and keep me out! Well, him being on this group is a bit strange because what they need is for front line fighters and tacticians, not sneaking into compounds. Though I suppose every military group needs their scumbag intelligence officers, and therefore this man’s knowledge and experience will likely go to their more devious individuals. After all, the Catfish’s only talent is breaking, entering, and killing. A one trick pony. Stick him on the front lines and he will die like a fly. All we can do now is hope that these people make that mistake.
CPT Alva Mitchell (Blacksmith): Horseman number 2, got him. Looks like these assholes just moved from fucking us within the CIA to bending us over through the US Elite. Looks like not only did the leader of the Horseman (Mitch) join the Harbingers and Elite, but the entire stud has entered the Elite. This member not being the boss of the group is horrifying, seeing as he has trained some of the most deadly agents that have ever existed. This includes his now known family members the Pharmacist, Accountant, Professor, and many more. This should scare the everloving shit out of anyone reading this. The Pharmacist is old as dirt, and this man trained him! He was his “maggot”, meaning this guy is even older. No idea how that is even possible, but apparently it is. The damage that the Blacksmith has caused over the years, not including whatever part he played in this Stage 5 bullshit, is incalculable. He and the other horseman have been playing the country and its agencies for fools for at least the last 75 or so years. Knowing that these people were likely part of the Federal Immortality Program means that they may have been involved even longer. God only knows when they switched sides. If you see them don’t phone it in, you are already being recorded and watched. Just walk away and hope that they are looking for someone else, otherwise you are on a one way trip to being tortured, brainwashed, and possibly death.
Lt. Col Reverdy Davis (Snoopy): Talk about an infamous runner. Oh how the mighty have fallen, or maybe I should say had their wings clipped. It has been known for some time that Snoopy is President Davis’ brother. Well, thanks to our newfound (and very unhappy) contacts we have come across some very startling news. You see, as was learned earlier this year, the Powder Keg of the south is a great western dragon. Well, turns out (unsurprisingly) that his brothers are too. Snoopy, the once hailed top news reporter, is not only a dragon, but an extremely old and powerful one. Now, we may be able to trust Dunklezon, but you know for damn sure that most are not worth their weight in salt unless you are selling them to a mega corp. This scaly bastard has been manipulating our minds and thoughts for thousands of years. Our contacts provided us with old pictures showing that he has been manipulating the flow of information since long before we ever knew. This makes sense given these scaly fucks live basically forever until someone kills them. What is even more worrying is that there are more than just two dragons in this family. More information on the others to come soon. Just remember, no matter what you do, do not make a deal with him or shake his hand. The fact that a dragon has been invited into this new group by its commander knowingly tells you just what their true intentions are. If you were looking for a reliable group of warriors to protect you then I suggest you look elsewhere.
CPT. Orville Dayton (Colt): Well now, if you are looking for a prime example of a racist piece of garbage, look no further than this member of the US Elite, meet Colt! This man is not only an original and a member of the Texas Elite, but he has been fighting for the south to rise again since they first lost the second civil war. He was around back in the early days where his penchant for killing Indians, non-whites, and metas was considered alright by the rebels (though most have realized that this isn’t appropriate – though they still hate elves for some reason) and even a valuable asset. He runs a large gun that has bullets the size of most men’s fists. The last recorded sighting of him using it was Council Island last year, but the news doesn’t want you to know that. They swept his involvement under the rug (thanks again to our new wonderful contacts – whatever you did to piss them off we really appreciate it). The fact that he is in this bunch of misfits is at least slightly interesting since there are a few metas also present. Either he has reformed (unlikely) or he is just waiting for a good opportunity to shoot Quick Draw when Nightshade isn’t looking, Khan when he is drunk, Chauffer when he is fixing his rig, or Bilbo when he isn’t paying attention. Let the inner strife and self-dismantling of these untrustworthy terrorists begin!
CPT. Arthur Crane (Stamps): Speaking of Texas Elite members that have been around since the beginning, lets discuss Stamps. Originally thought to be from the envelopes the Postmaster delivers, it has been discovered that his name is more closely related to what he does to the heads of his enemies. This bastard of the Lone Star State has been plaguing this country since the time of the Great Tragedy. He and his people are a large part of the reason why the Natives felt they only had one option in order to strike back and recover their land. In addition to what he has done in the South and in Texas, he is also the leader of the dreaded team The Wolf Pack. He and his compatriots have been terrorizing Seattle for many a decade, and when they “disappeared” it was only from sight, not from operation. They have now been back in town for a little over the year and have fully corrupted the police department within the Emerald City. It would appear that they are now trying to corrupt the new branch of the military as well. At this rate, with another of his teammates on board and more likely to join he will probably succeed. If this branch wasn’t already destined to fail, the involvement of the Pack and Texas Elite will guarantee it. They may be able to quell the masses where they are liked, but they will never be able to scare and force submission throughout the entire country.
SGT. Elmer Krieghoff (Proxy): It was a cold, wet night when all through the base all the creatures were stirring except for the mouse (cause the damn tiger ate it). The smoke filled room was ablaze with cigars and a discussion of future was the cause. What do we need to cover our tracks said the Conductor of the meeting? Why, fixing our trials by Proxy was the answer. Thus, how this piece of garbage came to be on this team. The Krieghoffs are professionals when it comes to covering their tracks, and there is nobody better at setting a crime scene than this man. For when the operatives under Catfish’s command bungle the job (and trust me – they will) the Proxy will make sure their trial goes awry. To anyone that thought there would be oversight on this branch, you can now assume that not only is there none, but if anyone tries to enforce some it will simply be averted and dodged. All hope has now been lost for legitimacy here.
1LT. Robert Churchill (Sandman): Ah, the sleepytime warrior. If you are looking for evidence on whether or not there are any legitimate individuals on this page, well this one proves there are not. Not only is he a top 10 contender for the European list, he is one of the upper echelon members of the HRM. These people literally make their living killing our defenseless elven brethren. They walk into communities and murder them in their sleep. They murder them in church and in school. They have no qualms and are happy to target both women and children. To allow someone like the Sandman into their order they might as well invite President Davis himself! Though, maybe that man is actually a member and the recent defections are just a ploy with Colonial. They will take control of the whole country and the division will simply be behind closed doors. Mark my words, the attacks going between the new “world war” are nothing other than a ploy to move resources between all of these rebel agencies. Trust nobody!
MAJ. Bryant Mathews (Azrael): Another angel of death, how utterly uninventive. You would think the runners would come up with new things to be or do. Yeah yeah, they are scary, but really they just copy each other. In this group you already have several. So yeah, maybe we will just call him Samael #2. Though at least this one takes his fake name seriously, he at least carries a scythe! Now all we need is a bigger cloak. Maybe he should stop eating burgers too, since then he could get a bit more gaunt. Then his skeleton might start showing a bit more through his skin. Really, these assholes are all the same. Stalk the night to an unsuspecting target and remove them while they sleep. Yes, yes, it is scary. Creative though? Not in the least. All it shows is that these cowards are unwilling to fight woken targets. Their skills were all spent in sneaking and not in combat. Hell, a teenager could probably take this old man out. Especially if it’s raining as his arthritis would kick in and he would have difficulty moving. Well, whatever. If you know one of these pieces of work then you know them all. Nothing special here, keep moving on.
CAPT. Edward Blackwood (Bingo): Now here we have a unique individual. Talk about interesting, the Devil Dogs were a legitimate military at one point. I have heard of the battle at Butte and it was brutal. Too bad they missed a few… Bingo, that’s right! He sadly survived. Truthfully, his life could have been much less painful if he had simply succumbed to his injuries. Sadly, he is still around. He even stills runs his old business, though instead of selling just guns and food he now “fixes” other people’s needs. He fuels the machine of war that he claimed to dislike so much. This warmonger has profited off of both his teammates and other patriots that use him to get their supplies. If these people truly hated war they would work to speak democratically, but since all they do is attack and fight their true colors are obvious to those who pay attention. This division won’t be there to protect the people, it will be there to fight the other divisions of the US government. I give it a max of 6-months after the first couple of classes graduate before they create in-fighting within the country. Hell, they have already cornered Canada into being forced to secede and with the new Joint Chief we are already in World War III. I’m not sure what way you contributed, but we are onto you Bingo, and we know that is your Name-O.
CPT. Ben Y. Yale Palpatine MD (Old Ben): Let the psychology department be run by father and son they said, no problems could possibly be caused by that. Well, that might be true if the father/son team wasn’t the Palpatines. Can you imagine walking into an office with one of them as the doctor? Now, I understand that before they were known Ben here was known as a top psychiatrist in the field. He would work for the politicians in order to gain information regarding what they do and where their plans were heading. This intel would then be directly leaked to the rebels. We can now see where the impact of having direct data from the leading members of congress has caused us problems for decades. Now that he has joined the Elite I’m not sure what he will be good for since if he treats the members of that order there is no longer a location to leak the data. It is obvious that he was let into I-Corp due to nepotism, so it will be interesting to see what they have him do before he is found and killed on the street. You see, he may be a member of the President’s Men, but he isn’t very combat trained. One good bullet should be enough.
CPT. Yale Yates (Pharmacist): Ah, one of the top members of the Brother’s Grimm. Talk about how the mighty have fallen, he isn’t even at the top of this list. Though it is concerning that the families of the Grimm have taken such an interest in this organization. What is even more scary is that this man had a mentor, and they are back together. There isn’t much to say about the Pharmacist that isn’t already in another place on this site. This wind bag has been plaguing the country since what seems like the beginning of time. He is known to be as old as dirt, and now it turns out his father is still around. If that weren’t frightening enough, this man will be lending his assistance in I-Corp when he is around. Further than that, he is serving others, which is something the heads of the Brother’s Grimm are not known to do. This makes me curious when the rest of the group will join, but until they rear their ugly heads we won’t know. Let me just say this, all should be worried. This organization already had teeth, but now they have access to one of the most elite squads on the planet.
Dr. Cardwell Yates (Physicist): KIA (30/12/74) RIP – The Physicist was brought to justice during the attempted retaking of the UCAS. Let this be a reminder, anyone can die. You all need simply wait for your time.
Lt. Col. Gerald Weinstock (Tax Collector): There he is, the first of the red headed step children of the Brother’s Grimm. The Weinstocks are known to be the servants of the Yates, Grimm, and Miesner lines within this order. They are less members within that team and more operatives to be deployed. The fact that they have joined this squad means they are likely on orders from those in charge of that group of racist murders. Since the Pharmacist has entered the fray, it is likely safe to assume that they are here on orders. What those orders are is not yet clear, but it is likely that they will be enforcing the will of I-Corp, even if they are not officially members. While we do note that they are servants, do not think for a second that the Tax Collector is not a threat. He has been a bounty hunter for many years and is an expert of the craft. He can kill you with a gun or martial weapon in a heartbeat. If you see him on the street, simply pray you are not his target and let one of the true branches of the military know where he was present.
BG Arthur Grimm (Slimer): Well, any hope the country had of survival just ended. Not only is there Yates and Weinstock involvement in this order, but now the Grimm themselves have joined up with the Elite. This makes sense in that by being the elite of this planet, they are certainly the elite of this city and country. That doesn’t make them fit to be on this list, though then again none of these individuals are fit to be serving this country in any capacity besides as a prisoner. Slimer alone is capable of bringing an entire military camp to a halt. If he announces he is in a city the population usually drops from people running in fear. Now he is a general, well that’s just wonderful. If he is commanding troops the freedom fighters trying to save this country will end up having to run away simply to avoid being dragged to the nether realm. Slimer moves like a ghost and slimes his opponents. Then again with a grandson like Ecto One who knows – maybe he revels in the old movies. Just don’t be stupid, if you hear Slimer run for the hills. If you are out of his sight maybe he will forget you exist, for to him you are nothing more than a dot.
ADM Ward O’Malley (Moray): Alright, now I’m officially confused as all hell. What the FUCK is Moray doing on this list? First – he is a god damned pirate. Not a terrorist, not someone fighting for a reason, a careless pirate! Don’t give me that mercenary crap, he is a Sea Wolf through and through. Second, does he not know Conductor is a fucking Harbinger?!?!?!?!?!?!?! The hate between the Sea Wolves and the Harbingers is well documented, even in the news! He has literally sent Death Squads to hunt down members of that team! Was it all a farce? I can’t imagine that, too many people were shot at for it to be a fake. I don’t know who could possibly twist Moray and Ratchet’s arm, but this straight up doesn’t make sense. Unless it is an undercover position to find and kill the Harbingers. Only time will tell, but given the people on this list I suspect that isn’t the case. The shadows have literally been thrown upside down at this point. Talk about a weird member. There must be a bigger picture, especially seeing as Moray not only hates the Harbingers, but will now be working alongside the Man in White. You know, his MORTAL ENEMY! What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck. That is all I can say.
Lt. Col. Roy Apples ME (Cider): Ah, finally a semi-legitimate individual. Emphasis on semi-legit. This individual is by no means a real member of society as he is a member of the Harbour Masters. That said, during most of the day he works within the police department as a meat puzzle solver. His forensics work is top notch and for the time he spends keeping the city safe we do appreciate it. What we don’t appreciate is intentionally botching his friends cases. Or using his knowledge to dress a scene in such a way that it is unsolvable when he is on an operation. You see, for every criminal this piece of garbage helps put away he creates another family who will never get justice. These monsters who play god on the streets and in our police system need to be stopped, yet they just keep gaining political power and contacts. Now he is a legal member of the military and can be sent on missions which cannot be questioned. This destruction of our system needs to stop or we will all end up dead. Rise up and rebel! Before it is too late, rise up!
CDR. Trevor O’Neil (Riptide): Ok, this is just getting out of hand. Now the Crimson Bloods are in this shit show too? It was bad enough that Moray had signed on (which still confuses the crap out of me), but you mean to tell me that nowt his military can call on the help from both the Wolves and the Bloods? Wait, you mean if they ask for help and don’t advertise it they can get blockades against enemy countries and not be linked? Well that certainly isn’t corrupt. Talk about the government playing by the book. Wait, it gets better, they can just ask Riptide to summon storms and block out ports from resources for months at a time in order to besiege an area without committing troops? Well, the list goes on and on. The rebels complain about “Old World Blues” and that the UCAS was corrupt. Well talk about calling the kettle black. With this group I would be more shocked if they followed any rules whatsoever. Hypocrites is an understatement. And Riptide, you can go to hell. Not only are you a part of this order, but you have murdered and killed thousands for no reason other than that they were on a boat in your path. I hope you take a trip to Davy Jones’ locker and never come back.
SGT. Andrew Chips (Bastard): Looking for a real rat bastard? Well you found one here! This guy is such an asshole even his friends call him a bastard. This piece of work is a member of the team The Devil Rats and takes every mission to the extreme. He causes as much pain and harm as he can and uses dirty underhanded tactics. He is a fan of extortion, and even when paid he doesn’t release the body in a recognizable manner. Now, according to reports we have received, he is one of the trainers for the recruits. For those who don’t realize it, this is horrifying! That means that the morals and baseline for all troops will be twisted and molded by this lunatic. They will have know code of ethics other than kill. They will see civilians on both sides as nothing more than acceptable casualties, and we know the Patriots already think this way to begin with, but now even the US soldiers will have that mindset. This first set of soldiers is already a lost cause. The only semblance of hope we have is that Bastard can only be on one base at a time and future classes will not endure his teachings.
Col. Jeffery Copper (Pong): Another horseman, what a surprise. Where the boss goes the peons follow. Though this peon is quite the high profile individual. You see not only is he a horseman, but he is also a former member of the round-table. This gives him unique access to British intelligence and technology. It also gives him potential access to Steel Legion resources in the event that there is a problem (like, oh, world war 3!!). I don’t know what our cousins across the pond are doing getting so involved in our military, but I for one am quite scared. We have numerous members of the Sentinels, members of the Kingsman, and members of the British navy. Hell, we even have British nobility all over the place here with Dukes, Earls, Knights, and god knows what else. The King (and soon to be Queen) even visited the base according to recent reports. I don’t know what the horseman or Pong have done to entrench the two countries, but something is definitely afoot. The Steel Legion never lets go of an asset, and Pong is no different. We just have to hope that while he is bouncing across the pond he falls off the table.
CW5 Evan Meisner (Everest): Talk about unhappy people, this guy should be one of ours! Everest is known as the Grimm that hates everything and everyone. You would think with such a high vantage point over his family he would be happy, but this doesn’t seem to give him any solace in the least. Truly a demure waiting to develop, the angry elder takes out his frustration by removing the life from weaker targets. You see, even though he is tall he is an infiltrator with little to no skill in direct combat. Thus, he has to find weaker targets that he can sneak up on in order to be able to take them out. You would think with his height he would have focused more on combat, but the coward in him only lets him sneak around. He is too afraid to confront anyone directly for he might break a nail or sprain a finger. Thus, he slinks and sneaks his way around to those who cannot defend themselves. That is why unlike his grandchildren he has been placed below the officers in warrant division. This way he cannot make any particularly important mistakes since his command structure will be limited. Well, at least he will have someone under him to listen to. We all know his family ignores him. Afterall, when is the last time the Grimm were at a battle and he showed up? Yeah, I can’t think of one either.
COL. Woody Brunswick (Casper): Ah yes, the friendliest of ghosts. You can see some information on this stalker of the streets on the harbour masters/knights page. What can I add here? Well, it seems the hiding coward has decided to play toy soldier. Except unlike the weakling above him, he went full on officer. They gave an inexperienced plebe the rank of colonel. In truth, I don’t understand the rankings of this entire organisation at all. They take a veteran like Polaroid and give him Captain, but then put Bonfire (who is admittedly scared shitless of Polaroid) as a Brigadier General underneath him. Hope you weren’t looking for consistency! For a supposedly “legitimate” military order, seems like everything is screwed up. Just another example of how the incompetence of the Harbingers (the leaders of this charade) haven’t a clue regarding what they are doing.
<<<My, My,My…..you little idiot have you not actually looked at the chart that was placed above regarding the military ranking structure. Seems that you need to read a book or pay attention in the classroom instead of running your ignorant mouth on the matrix young man. The difference in ranking between Polaroid and Bonfire is only one grade as I am a Captain within the US Elite Naval Division and hence I am a O-6 and Bonfire is an O-7; also Casper has put in his time within the Sons of Liberty and earned his promotions and being an O-6 as well.
The ranking structure within the US Elite is based on education, experience and years of prior service to a military order. Just as how the UCAS and USA Military works there are promotion credits and we all have to earn the credits to rise in rank and as well be approved by the UCAS Senate US Elite Joint Committee. This branch of the service follows all previous written guidelines and these can all be found on the matrix within the Uniformed Code of Military Justice as well the Uniformed Code of Military Rules and Regulations everything is spelled out for you in black and white.
Bonfire is a retired US Army General and hence he has already paid his dues and earned being a O-7 and if he wants that second star he needs to earn the credits just like everyone else. General Ralph Rivers and Senator Malone are doing a wonderful job adhering to the uniformed codes and placing everyone within a command structure they are qualified to command. The warrant officers also known as Gunny’s sit outside the normal chain of command and hence solo operators like Everest, Talon and Nightshade fit perfectly within the structure of being a Gunny. They are above the enlisted men and equal to the commissioned and able to be on the level with the enlisted solider thus being able to form a bond and as well give them someone to go to that doesn’t have brass on there collar.
Now please young man stick to the recorded and reported facts about the people on this page, each and everyone of them has volunteered for active duty to keep the likes of you safe and free to spew nonsense on the matrix. Though your ignorance to the noble field of journalism is unthinkable, this is not a social media or blog site. This is a news site and it’s meant to let people know about what is actually going on and who’s who on the streets and within your military. These people have all sacrificed everything to keep you free and help restore Old World Blues and allow for Old Glory to fly proudly once again, they have taken an oath to defend the Constitution from tyranny both foreign and domestic and with such the deserve your respect. You don’t have to like them, but you must respect what they sacrificed and what they do to keep you free young man.
We in the US Elite welcome you to come on down to the recruiting office and sign on the dotted line and volunteer for active duty and serve your country in one of our may branches of service or you can sit at home and enjoy the freedom the military gives you and salute the flag and respect the soldiers, veterans and President as they work tirelessly to protect you and your family and all democracy to prevail. You are welcome to reach out to me at my office (206)-555-6410 ext 34 if you have any further questions or wish to enlist in the US Elite or US Elite Naval Division. We offer many career opportunities outside of special forces and advanced infantry, such as Legal, Clerking, Funeral Services, Media, Medical, Food Preparation, Computer Science, Religious Studies, and many many more. We as all offer three square meals a day, a roof over your head, clothes on your back, a paycheck, college tuition, medical insurance as well as many other perks just for signing up and you get to see the outside and experience a world outside of the sheltered hovel you currently know.
Captain Dover Barton US Elite Naval Division>>>
COL. Fredrick Moseley (Autopsy): What could possibly be better than the cowards of the streets in this order (other than the long-winded bullshit above)? Why, the guy who profits from the deaths of all the soldiers killed of course! How apt that the man helping to command the tactics in the field and make recommendations in the boardroom be the one who also charges their families (or the government benefits) for the money that cover their burial costs. He can “slip” in the field and rake in a very pretty penny. Even if he does his job correctly (which is unlikely to begin with) the wars that our young men and women fight in are going to create plenty of new graves for them to extort everyone involved for. There will never be an end to this since the death of our people will be fueling the need for more battle! To the shithead who believes he is talking to a child, I respect the soldiers. I don’t respect runners who bend and twist loyal people to their whim for their own gain. This site is here to inform you what the garbage that runs the street is up to. They are up to the military now, but it is no different than how the site has always been. Glad to see there are two mitches here now.
<<<Young man not one of those on this page signed up to make a profit or reap any sort of reward from their service within the US Elite. I don’t know what you have heard or what misinformation you have read within the matrix but no soldier or sailor can get rich. We don’t do this for the money, we do this because we bleed Red, White and Blue and care about those that need protection. We choose to fight for the defenceless and lend a helping hand to those in need, this is a military order and everyone is taking there MOS (Military Occupation Speciality) seriously as well they are fully accepting the command structure.
Now as for your unwarranted remarks about Colonel Fredrick Moseley he is a fully licensed and bonded funeral services director who successfully ran multiple mortuaries throughout Seattle and King County. It is an honour to have a man of his skill and professionalism leading the Funeral Services Division and heading the Honour Guard for the fallen brave warriors. He has already proven his grit during the trying time after the New Years Massacre (30/12/74 – 02/01.75) and he is still hard at work with his men reaching out to loved ones, identifying the fallen and preparing the burial services for each and everyone of them.
All death benefits are paid out to the next of kin and the US Elite absorbs the funeral,, burial, transport and preparations cost and no bill is ever sent to the family. This is a trying and hard time for the loved ones and we in the US Elite fully understand how hard it is to lose a loved one especially within war. Professionals like Colonel Moseley are a godsend for the US Military do to their tireless dedication to the fallen and helping the loved ones during thee time of mourning.
Please young man stick to the facts and lets not resort to name calling and mud throwing, for Colonel Moseley deserves better than that. His voice on the phone or presence on someones front porch is the last thing any parent of a solider ever wants to see. His job is hard enough especially during war time, so please show this man and his entire division a little respect.
You claim to respect the troops but I have been reading the slander you have been saying about the members of the US Elite and last time I checked everyone here and our connected pages has sworn an oath, puts on our uniform everyday and stands guard for democracy and liberty. The US Elite has been officially recognised as the sixth branch of the armed forces and with such should be respected. As I said prior you might not like the people here for one reason or another, but till you swear that oath, and put on a uniform the demand your respect.
The US Elite and US Naval Elite are fully dedicated to keeping America free and allowing you to remain knowing the democracy and liberties yo have always heard of and never once felt under the banner of the UCAS. We stand for Old World Blues and Old Glory, we stand with President River Welsh and President elect Oliver McKeen and we stand with ever American citizen young man and that means you. Please pick up a book and put down the video game and study actual American History, look into the data files of STAGE 5 and listen to those that are now seeing and hearing what Archibald Kingsbury has been saying for ages.
I welcome a lively debate with you young man, though please don’t come this debate unprepared as I have a life time within public service and the military and as well I quite studied and read. You seem wrapped up in the propaganda of the Loyalists, Legion and Free Bird; these are all falsified sources bent on twisting your mind and filling your heart with hatred and from what I can tell from the writings above it is working. Please contact my office and make an appointment and we can sit down and chat before your mouth writes a check your ass can’t cash.
CAPT Dover Barton US Elite Naval Division>>>
CPT Shelby Malone (Slicer): (Be afraid Demure, Be afraid for the Slicer is on the job) We do not fear the Slicer, for it is you who should fear us. We have found information regarding what you have been up to. Your secrets are exposed and there is nowhere for you to hide from our reporting. The Slicer is another member of the Cajun Mafia and is known for how he operates his cavalry sword in battle. He is proficient at three things. He can manipulate others while sucking on Wilhuff’s dick, hacking systems, and cutting people up. While two of those are useful, it is the first that seems to keep him at bay. He is too busy pleasing his master to make a difference. Sadly it is easily traced that he has only removed legitimate government workers and not any of the rebel scum plaguing our way of life, but what is to be expected of another hand of the horsemen. I suspect we will be finding more members of this group as they become more forward. I suspect we will eventually link Ralph to them directly as they must have a direct Harbingers connection in order to exist within this group and on that base with impunity. Nobody just infiltrates that compound and if there is one commonality, it’s that the horseman don’t do anything unless they build a contact or relationship first. The connection may even go deeper into their subteams like the Railroad or Stormriders, but since we are true reporters we will have to wait until further data comes out. Where did out two new contacts go…
Col. Roy Gunderson (Colonel): Oh man, why didn’t he just stay put with his family inside Detroit. Everyone would be happier! Well, the Colonel here (both in rank and name) unfortunately escaped the death that was planned for him and likely brought the bugs from Detroit with him and his squad. He had been working to control Detroit with an iron fist through the underground tribes against the rightful government of the area. When the bugs were found he moved to remove the evidence in order to maintain his groups’ control of the tribes. After all, if the legitimate claims were known everyone would have evacuated and his power would have faded. The “Tribes” as they called them were nothing more than a bunch of people underground trying to secure hold over the motor city and the D-Tribe simply became the best known and most powerful. He was willing to sacrifice the sanctity of this country and create another Bug City in order to maintain what he had built. Truly a despicable man. It is a surprise that he has joined here given that he had a bounty out on some of the Harbingers for a while, but with Moray on deck (literally) nothing surprises me anymore. I’m starting to wonder if any of the past problems this team had were true.
CPT Lewis Brooks MD (Medic): Medic! Well, that is something the base will be hearing quite a bit I’m sure. After all, when you turn a bunch of runner teams into a military you aren’t going to stop them from doing operations and getting shot up. That said, we have another evil bastard from the D-Tribe in this location. I suppose since there are only 4 left the other 2 will rear their ugly pathetic heads later. While most of the Medic’s past is shrouded in mystery, what we do know is he was heavily involved in Detroit. He was also involved in the private army that went out for hire prior to the rebellion of Detroit against its proper government. This army was one of the major influences on developing the modern day mercenary. This means in turn that all the problems the mercenaries have caused around the globe and for the true runners of the streets can be traced back to these maniacs. They set the standard for written codes and keeping track of red marks. This influence is the only reason the Sea Wolves have capable pirates. Without it we might not have to worry about those monsters! All these old timers make these decisions on a whim and we the people end up having to deal with the aftermath.
CPT Douglas Howell (Grandpa): This one actually hurts, almost. You see, I used to like this runner. A member of the Tribe running around and helping the Bowery. You know, the people who truly comprise Seattle. Never knew he ran Knight Errant. Talk about corporations hiding spies in interesting locations. So, we are supposed to believe that he just up and left his job as one of the head honchos of Knight Errant and moved to the wastes? Yeah right, and Thirteen was just a teacher! Let me tell you what is actually going on, since unlike the idiots of the shadows you can’t pull one over on me. Knight Errant obviously knew that the Tribes were a problem in the wastes. They couldn’t hit them head on, so they sent in an undercover agent to learn all their secrets. They couldn’t send in an idiot who would bungle the whole thing, so they sent in their top investigator. Now, I’m not sure what happened along the way, but I can tell you that by seeing the Ronin Shotgun he carries that he is still getting a paycheck from Ares. At some point this snake in the grass is going to fuck us all. Well, at least it will be this group of garbage and not the Bowery. Screw you turncoat!
CPT Rev. Francis Young (Padre): Well now, I knew this order wasn’t legit, but to bring the biggest drug dealer in the country (possibly the world) into the fold of the church is even worse than the shit their spec ops team the Railroad does. They have stuck a man who takes pleasure in hooking the helpless on his drugs into the place where people go when they are the most vulnerable. He can find them down on their luck needing a kind word, slip them a sample, and then hook them for life. They may forget about their fallen loved one, but they will never escape the crippling debt that will befall them. Polaroid claims to care about those who have fallen, but supports an order that would prey upon their families in their time of need. It’s a good thing I didn’t call you for that debate, because you would have lost it right here. Anyone looking at joining this “branch” of the government just remember. This is what they would subject your family to. Not to mention should you need help coping or dealing with anything you could become his next victim as well.
Col. Walter Segal (Rags): Well then, looks like we have one of the big wigs from over in Europe within this group. Quite strange that the leader of the Kingsman would join this order. Seems a bit out of place for him since they are supposed to only act in the best interests of the crown and the country. Wait, now I get it, England obviously has a stake in this! Now don’t give me the old “They are an ally and trying to help” bullshit, cause sending several of their top operators to infiltrate a new military branch is more than just helping. Look at this bullshit. We have the leader of the Kingsman, a member of the round table, and numerous earls and dukes. This is only one step from being a full on invasion! If that were not bad enough, look at the naval brigade. It has Leviathan and Riptide on it! I don’t know how or when yet, but England is planning another attack. Since the up front one failed, they are going to do it from the inside. This time we won’t be ready for it, and they will succeed. Guess I better go buy my title now before its too late. You know, because all you need in order to succeed in England is cash and not morals. Just look at the recent appointments of 3 officers here, all with the same name of Yates…
Col. Conrad Howdy (Death Bringer): Why the fuck is Death Bringer here? Well, I guess for him it’s just another patch to go along with the ton that he already has. I’m surprised he hasn’t joined the Wolf Pack, Old Guard, Devil Rats, Mariners, Rejects, Harbingers, Tribe, and the Despicables yet for god sakes. This guy’s jacket reads like a who’s who of murder squads to work for, and that’s what all of those assholes are. Speaking of murder squads, why isn’t he a pirate again? His jacket is basically a red inkblot for fuck’s sakes! Well, if the Death Bringer is here that means this unit is definitely going to be participating in battles right out of the gate since that is all that he knows. That said, he knows it better than almost any other individual on the planet. If you see the Death Bringer don’t bother running, for then you are a moving target. Rumor has it if you stand still he might mistake you for scenery instead of living, but nobody has tested that. Probably because before those he attacks are aware of his presence they are already dead. Be warned, this is not a wimp like most of the members on this page. This is, and I quote, “The Mother Fuckin’ Death Bringer”. Consider yourself warned.
CPT. NJ Rivers MD (Cutter): If you are looking for a snake in the grass you can skip over Set. This bastard is one of the biggest lying, cheating, unscrupulous, and unethical individuals I have ever seen. First off, don’t buy any of this “we help the Bowery” bullshit he is trying to peddle. Not long ago Cutter was an extremely high end doctor, but that was just a cover as well. Take a look at the records and you will see the atrocities that he has committed while using “doctor” as his cover. Just look at the top 10 wanted lists to find him. When the heat was getting too hot for him he retreated to the wastes for safety and played the good Samaritan. Don’t be fooled, he is just biding his time. Now that he is back with his mastermind of a brother the destruction and decimation of the free world will only continue. The Rivers brothers might have been able to hide for a while, but now that we have learned of them they will never be able to disappear into the shadows ever again. No longer will the dangerous beings of the dark plague those who choose to live a safe and legal life. Never Again!
CPT. William Gunn (Digger): One of the many old coots that should stay retired and out of the world of the military. The Digger is one of the founders and members of The Pack. He has dirtied his hands in burying and killing many innocent souls over the years. It is rumored that he even buried his lover over an argument. According to sources she was reported dead for months. God only knows what torture she underwent at his hands. If this is what he does to those he cares about, one can only imagine what he will do to both our enemies and our citizens. His signature is (as his name suggests) burying people underground. The detail that separates him from most is that he buries them alive, and awake at that. He lets them experience the hell of suffocating slowly with no way out. We aren’t sure how he keeps the runners down there, though I suspect he simply injects them with anti-magic serum and turns off their cyber so that they cannot dig their way out (bio alone won’t get you out of that situation, and he probably has counter measures for that too. This man is a rat bastard who shouldn’t be allowed to breath let alone terrorize the civilians that he is swearing to protect. Steer clear if you want to remain breathing.
MAJ. Franklin Little (Mr. President): How interesting, we have a president in the US Elite. Well, to be up front, I’m surprised we don’t have THE president in the elite, given that they have no morals and he has many friendships within this group. Well, when we talk about this man we are talking about a more figurative individual, for his handle comes from how he dresses. He uses his professional look to lure in unsuspecting targets and take them out with extreme prejudice. He manipulates newbies into working for him in exchange for little to no wages. If they die the wages are even lower, and when he takes a newbie on a job let us just say there is a high casualty rate. As an operator not much is known about Mr. President here other than what I have mentioned, but given that he has been granted the rank of a major we can assume he has some military experience, or that there is at least more to this story. They may be giving him credit for his years as a bounty hunter, but that is hard to judge since personnel records are not generally public. Given that he is pretty high up in the command structure, you can assume there is something going on.
COL. Byrd Ransom (Punisher): Talk about a breath of fresh air, a new type of criminal! Ladies and gentlemen, we have someone who is at least slightly unique in this order! While many have killed others, none that we know of have gone on a “holy” quest in order to kill their own child! That’s right kids, this man spent the last several decades hunting his own flesh and blood. Now, not that Rift didn’t deserve a dogs death, but holy crap. We have plenty of stories with brother killing brother or child killing parent, but the opposite is quite rare. Make no mistake this man is a monster. He is a member of both the Sentinels and the Kingsmen, and apparently one of their most talented members. He took out a horde of the Red Guard and then took out his son afterward. By nothing more than the grace of god (literally!) he managed to survive the encounter. His friend must have been watching for he came to tend to his wounds at an awfully convenient time. I smell foul play in all of this, but then again what else would you expect from these bastards. The particularly interesting part of all this is that all of the sudden he has decided to leave the land he has sworn to protect (along with his friend) and not only join the US Elite, but also the Harbingers! That team has gotten quite the power boost as of late with regards to new members ranging from the leader of the Stormriders, a former member of the Round Table, and now a full blown Grandmaster of the Kingsmen. Something is definitely afoot here.
CPT. Edwin Malone (Crawdad): Ah the Crawdad, just like his namesake I imagine when he is on the gallows he will be nothing more than a tasty dish for his brother to get paid for. This piece of fish food has been helping to raise a school of fish for quite some time, starting with some of the Harbingers that are linked to the leader of this group. The potential implications of who actually started this group have begun to fly. Though according to our most trusted sources this entire military is nothing more than the manipulations and long term planning of those involved in Stage 5, which certainly includes the Cavalry and Horsemen. With regards to the Crawdad himself, not a ton is known. The profile that was uploaded before their sinister program was triggered mostly focuses on his connection to Tic Tac and that he is an investigator. Given that we are true reporters I am a bit embarrassed that my colleague mostly uploaded ramblings, thus I will end here in order to keep everything factual. Onto the next scumbag on the list.
CPT Thomas Carroll (Vex): Talk about a less than vexing entry, Mr. Carroll here is no brainer for this order. No morals or questions asked? Check. Has some slyly hidden family in the group? Check. Has his bastard teammates in the group? Check. Well, that’s all the boxes people. More Devil Rats will likely crawl out off the sewers for this one. It seems that even though they setup in the Waterways and the swamp that the beasts who prowl the urban area have been able to hitchhike a ride. Probably on the same truck Colonial goes to meet his butt buddies Conductor and Gremlin. Vex also has a known connection to, you guessed it, the Harbingers as he has been seen working with the Spartan. Back in her Bowery days apparently they used to be lovers and thick as thieves. Probably until the Roadrunner and Crimson Ghost found out – I imagine they put a stop to that quickly. Well, I guess old flames are just as good to rope in as new ones (notice the whole Kissinger clan is here), though we haven’t figured out why Ralph hasn’t tapped more of his friends for this order. Give it time, even our information network takes a bit to find everything – though eventually EVERYTHING is found.
Col. Reinhold Yates (Three): Three, well when are two and one joining? Meh, who knows. Another Yates/Grimm, another bastard. Just a bunch of secretive assholes. Apparently he is from something called the Foundry District in Seattle. Though there has been some chatter regarding “Foundry Districts” plural amongst the rebels, but I haven’t much of a clue. All I know is they are scared of going there, so maybe we should investigate further. If there is something they fear then we should make it as numerous as possible. Anyway, there isn’t much information here, so all we can do is speculate and I hate doing that. However, the one piece of data that is known is that he is somehow related to Bleach since the same people cleaned both their bios. This means he was likely involved in some way with the assassination of Lyndon Kingsbury that Bleach performed, but in what way is completely unknown. When more information becomes available we will add more data.
CW3. Raven McCarty (Nightshade): Well now, we have a breath of fresh air in this sausage party. The first female runner that made it all by herself. The Queen of the mana bolt has joined the King of bastard orders. This is one runner I used to enjoy the stories of. The antics that she used to pull alongside her now husband are legendary on the streets. Footage of them can be found on the matrix, and on some occasions, they even posed for the camera! Talk about understanding your audience and embracing the popularity. Until this shit show started I would have bought her a cup of coffee. Of course now that she is here then that is one less fan club that I am a part of so to speak. Showing her true colors in the war and leaving the way of a streeter is a disgrace to all that is held sacred by true runners. She is shedding her “you got the cred” attitude and therefore is no longer one of the warriors of the night. The Mariners were the last bastion of the true runners, but with more than just Raptor (who lost his street cred after he became the fucking mayor) they too have fallen. You can blame this order for truly ruining the streets of Seattle.
LCDR. Archie Luna (Locksmith): Well now, I see we have here the Locksmith. Well, he does follow Doyle around pretty much everywhere. Locksmith is the perpetual second to his friend in all things in life. Second best cop, second in command, second best shot, you get the idea. He got his handle from learning to pick the digital locks within LA and Denver. The basic setup was that if there was somewhere they needed to go, good ol’ Archie here would get them in. Within the elite he is lending his skills within the police division under his number 1, just like old times. That means you can expect the Elite to have MP’s that will have no problems torturing you, and even disabling you if you give any resistance (or if they just feel like it). Remember, this man was one of two that helped build the Denver Guard. You know, one of the most feared divisions of any law enforcement that ever existed. Not even the rebels dared to attack Denver. In fact they were so feared that they were able to keep the bugs in Denver secret for decades, and until our hero James O’Brien got involved the hives got out of control. Thank god that place is no more, or else we would be dealing with another Chicago.
<<< Chummer you have it all wrong, the Denver Guard was a noble order of LEO’s and served to protect the Mile High City, Archie Luna is a man of honour and dedication to the job. I can say that is an honour to know him and have served under him and Oakley within the Guard and it is an honour to once again serve with them in the Elite. I can tell you this chummer, Denver had no bug issues and the bombing was in no way related to dealing with the insect spirits, it was the UCAS governments attempt to forever silence Commander Doyle and the rebellion against the Usurpers that where enslaving the people and forcing their will on the city…..CPT Frank Quinn (Piranha) Out>>>
BG. Hector Krieghoff (Bonfire): Another one, well, this Mariner has always been a rat bastard since he is a Krieghoff. Bonfire enjoys turning buildings into nothing more than flame and ash. He takes pleasure in extorting the citizens of Seattle for their money, labor, and even their flesh. Some of our informants have even found evidence that the Krieghoffs and the mayor are part of the drug and sex trade of the Vandals. They have been supplying weapons and armor through Tang as a board member of Ares for years. Reaping the benefits and building their empire on the blood, sweat, and tears of Seattle’s citizens. The mayor himself has been destroying jobs and the economy by kicking out the big corporations that housed archologies within Seattle and this enforcer has been doing much of the dirty work to make that happen. By destroying these companies they have hurt Seattle’s economy and destroyed thousands of jobs that wage slaves needed in order to survive. Don’t think for a second that the mayor or his family has the best interests of the city in mind. Vote for the upcoming election and free Seattle from their Tyranny!
CW4 Lester McCarthy (Talon): Another! Not this one, this guy was awesome! Aw man, they got Talon in this shit show. Well fuck. The original street runner. Truly one with the city itself and the streets. This is truly depressing, I really enjoyed Talon’s antics as a member of the Mariners. The Four Houses job was ingenious and legendary! Well, now that he is here the streets themselves are crying – even I can hear them. What can I say about this former man of the people? He has become one of the rat bastards who want to destroy this country I guess. He (and the Mariners in general) used to be all about freedom. Looks like he sold his soul to the Conductor of the Railroad. Just goes to show that this group of assassins can intimidate even Talon into falling in line. While I don’t have much information to confirm, there are some who have started to suspect that Colonial is much like Mr. Black in that he is only a public boss and that Rivers is actually pulling the strings. Rumor on the streets is that if Colonial steps out of line he is tiger food for one of the four that hang around the Harbingers compound, though only time will tell if that is true. Be worried people, for if when Colonial get angry people disappear, then what happens if Conductor gets mad?!
CPT David Branch (Eagle): Well now, another Mariner. That’s too sad since Eagle was originally thought to be a lawyer of the people. Now we know his true intent – to make this bullshit excuse for a military branch seem legal in the eyes of the people. Anyone who challenges them legally will get met with strong resistance as long as he is allowed in their group of lawyers. As a runner he has been involved in many operations (as is the case with all Mariners) and in the past was known to protect the citizen. To think the US Elite could have corrupted even the Eagle is horrifying. Getting Talon was scary, but being able to take one of the best lawyers to ever grace a courtroom to give up his morals just shows how downright dirty the Conductor is willing to play. He must have the Eagles family hostage or under threat. I urge all citizens to report if you know where his family is so that we can safeguard them and let him leave this branch of tyranny. General Rivers must be stopped before all that is good in this world dies out.
<<<This makes me sad to read, I am saddened to think that simple because I volunteered for active duty and lend my talents to the US Elite that you would believe that I am being manipulated or forced. I have spent my legal career fighting for the people and even when I was the Executive District Attorney for Seattle I fought for the people of the Emerald City.
Politics aside this branch of the military is a noble order and one that I can be proud of, as a citizen of the United States I have always stood for freedom and liberty as well I have always stood for the people to live and be free. I have spent my legal career fighting against the Constitutional Infringements placed on the people by the Treaty of Denver and the United Canadian American States that doesn’t mean I didn’t support the system, simply I tried to make it a better place for us all.
My wife and children are fine in their home and support their husband and father in this endeavour and our proud of me for starting yet another new chapter in my like and professional career. I am part of the Judge Advocate Generals Office and I will be within the courtroom fighting for both the rights of the soldiers, recruits, officers and civilian contractors not to mention the families of all those involved within the US Elite. My views and philosophies haven’t changed and nor will they.
If you enjoy my work and what I have done for the people than you understand that I am here freely and will never allow for the people to be oppressed nor harmed, I would never stand with General Ralph Rivers if I believed him to be a tyrant and this military branch anything more than the sixth branch of the Armed Services and fully sanctioned, funded and blessed by the UCAS House, Senate and Presidency as well welcomed as a breath of fresh air by the people.
The UCAS Loyalists that still hold onto the ideology set forth by General James O’Brian are what is wrong with this nation and what I have made a career out of fighting and protecting the people from. I have argued over twenty times in the UCAS Supreme Court in the Federal District on behalf of the common citizen that has been wrongfully incarcerated under the Treaty of Denver or had property seized simply because they wore an Old Glory lapel pin. I was in the corner for fellow Elite officer CPT Edward Broderick and argued to save his life from and wrongful arrest and illegal conviction and emasculation.
So in closing and I know I am long winded but you need to understand that David Branch Esq will never do anything to compromise his morals and put the people in jeopardy. I will go to my grave fighting for you either in the courtroom or on the streets with the Mariners and now the Elite, to make certain you remain free and can wake up tomorrow and enjoy blissful ignorance and formulate any opinion you deem. I am the Eagle and I represent freedom for all not just those that simply obey the written rules and codes God bless you young man and may we make America great again……CPT David Branch Esq (Eagle) Out>>>
BG Gerry Dobbs (Turtle): The little turtle. Makes you wonder whether he is friend with Raph. Maybe he should be Master Splinter given his involvement with the dragons and teaching the newbies in the elite. With this little monster it appears that many of the original sentinels have decided to join that order, and several others have been caught on camera visiting and teaching. It appears that this order has decided to take an interest in the new branch of the government. Maybe they will convince them to ignore orders and attack countries after surrender with no remorse. Truly a vile act, even the Hand didn’t try to pull that one. When they retreated from England they pulled out. No underhanded tactics, just upfront honesty and backing out. To think that these supposed “heroes” would defy orders and convince an entire army to ignore the call for retreat and submission is absurd. The first rule of warfare is to follow orders! Any of these individuals who claims to be an officer can never complain if their soldiers ignore their words. Hopefully the wrong idiot will defy orders and will get them all killed. The dice have been rolled on less.
<<<Whelp, you need to learn your history and believing the propaganda spewed forth by the Tir. They have been belly aching ever since the Battle of the Irish Sea of 2018 that we broke with orders and caused them to loose the war……well to bloody bad!! We were given orders to retreat NOT SURRENDER! Our commander decided that we needed to stand strong and fight for the United Kingdom and we in Ghost Division agreed, we are soldiers and we were the lynch pin in that fight….are front fell and the war was over before it began.
Three days of hell and we held strong, we never faltered and we lost most of our entire division. I lost many friends during that battle and I am sickened how our sacrifices have been be warped and turned into a moment of treason. We did our job and we did our duty, we chose to fight and die over retreating and dying with bullets in our backs from the Tir military. We did receive demands from the Tir officers to surrender over our radios but in no capacity would we listen to orders from the enemy…..so yes we ignored the bloody Tir.
History has been re-written by the European Legion and the United Canadian American States so the truth has been distorted and what the Tir officials told the royals and the people is nothing but a lie. I was there, I heard the radio chatter and in no way did the United Kingdom surrender and wave the white flag. This has been nothing but a propaganda campaign that has been used to vilify the veterans of that war, all of us on all fronts.
Today it has become nothing more than a misinformation campaign to discredit the Ghost Division and it seems to have worked as many of our brothers have been wrongfully hanged and imprisoned do to simply being a Sentinel. We were and still are hailed the hero’s of the United Kingdom, we have been forced into exile by the political scheming of the Tir and to that I am disgusted, but we have been avenged and the King of England has once again restored our noble heritage and we were meet with cheers and praise by the people of England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Whales…..this doesn’t happen if you were cowards.
Maybe one day the young will learn the rel history of the Battle of the Irish Sea and understand that we in the Ghost Division gave our all and stood as a road block for the Tir Military, our failure to comply with a retreat order simply saved the UK from enslavement and allowed for Northern Ireland to remain free from the persecution of the elves. So till then have a little respect for the veterans and what we sacrificed so you can be free to spew vile hatred about us and others. You have the freedom to express your mind and let your voice be heard, though be careful getting information from only one side is dangerous and especially when it is from Legion…Wesley Taffer (Scimitar) Out>>>
CPT Edward Broderick Sr (Runner): Well, they even got the original runner. Talk about a hoax. This guy isn’t even military. While Talon may be the ultimate streeter, this man paved the way for all those that would enter the underworld after him. His life story is quite sad, but it seems he is back on the warpath in order to get his vengeance. Sadly, instead of taking to the street like a true operator he has thrown his hat into this corrupt ring. No doubt due to the fact that its I-Core division likely strong armed the Post Office into securing his release from the noose not all that long ago. Now that he has been spared, he and his family owe a debt to this order and it would appear he has to pay it. His brother/son/father/cousin/relative/lover the Electrician is working the Post Office to cover some of the debt, but he must pay back part himself. All work for Wilhuff in that order (except possibly General Rivers, but on that we are unsure), and the Runner is no exception. Beware, for rumor has it that those twin blades of his are quite nasty. As it is said by the recruits, all hail Wilhuff for otherwise he will consume your soul. We are looking into his status as possibly a Vampire, we will let you know.
Lt. Col Ebenezer Livingston (Rebound): Another crazy murder hobo enters the fray. Hoorah! I’m so surprised, NOT! It makes perfect sense that this soulless warrior would join the “Elite” if we are still calling them that. Well, they are the criminal elite. Now all we need is Mr. Black and Crash to enter and you have all the bigshots from all the government agencies on the roster (though be sure they are on the books anyway). Rebound has been spotted all over the country and world hunting down our greatest protectors. Though now he is with all of those he used to hunt and I’m not sure how that will work. I suspect there is at least a 50% chance that he has only joined to hunt Mitchell, Oak, and White, but that is no more than conjecture. Though if there is anyone that can take out Mitch, it is definitely Rebound. This man is a monster of combat in all forms and has worked alongside of and with the best. It is said only Gargoyle is above him, and possibly the Rabbi. Thus, he should be able to take out the pencil pusher that has managed to play both sides of the war for decades. I hate having to deal with him, but maybe he can help us a bit. We both want that fucker dead afterall.
CAPT. Dover Davis (Polaroid): Click – your on camera! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, come on down to Dover’s emporium. We have political snapshots, stage 5 replicas, and all the blood and gore from battles across the planet you can imagine! Looking for someone who can fool the system and his “family”? Look no further than a happy house-dragon! You can feed him, walk him, and when you say to he will slice up an invader with a plasma saber. Comes fully equipped with scales, breath weapon, lies, and deceipt. No warranty provided on property, furniture, secrets, or anything you hold dear. Limited warranty provided on the product, though guaranteed to be older than dirt, involved with the Horseman, and likely be your death. With this product transforming is optional and assumed since it has never been witnessed, though if your Polaroid transforms do send a pic in. First confirmed photograph will receive 1,000,000 credits! Order now for your own traitorous bastard today! According to the Surgeon General this Warning Must Be On All Units: Works for Wilhuff, just like everybody fucking else…
MAJ Isaac Maples MD (Trespass): Well now, what a clever name. You see, most would think it was to describe what he does on private property, but in fact it is a nod to his profession. You see, Dr. Maples as he is called in the doctor world, is a master brain surgeon. On the outset that sounds wonderful, but then you find out his affiliations and begin to understand what he actually does. You see, good old Trespass here is a member of the President’s Men, and has been a part of that order for quite some time. He gained his name originally for the bypassing of his victims brain. This man is rumored to be able to go in and modify the components of the brain to lock away memories. Mind control after all is what the President’s Men have used to rule this country for centuries. He locks in memories or he changes your brain chemistry to make you tell all of your greatest secrets. Now that recent information has come to light, it has become apparent that Trespass is one of Wilhuff’s pupils. How else do you become so trained in brain chemistry other than to learn from the master. Beware citizens, the brainwashing is strong in this order. You won’t even know you thought you knew anything important when they are done with you.
MAJ Jeremy McNair (King): All hail the king of the betrayers. This former commissioner turned runner turned turncoat has been outed as one of the many evil pieces of scum and villainy within the US Elite. King was originally one of the many runners we respected of the Mariners (and Unknown Soldiers) that used to personify what it means to be free. He, along with Talon and Raptor, is one of the greatest disappointments of his generation. The next generation of runners was supposed to break the mold and pave the way out of the founder’s rules. Now he works underneath them and follows their commands. Hell there are new breeds and lost children at his rank and higher! Talk about a disgrace. At least Raptor made general. What’s worse is taking this bastard out is pretty much impossible. He survived a fucking nuke for god’s sake! And not “in the blast radius” – he was at ground fucking zero! No gun that has ever been made can hurt him. We aren’t even sure that plasma swords can even cut his skin! We assume he is part of some sort of rock/steel human meta variant, for otherwise his resilience doesn’t make sense. But whether he is in heaven or hell, none can break the King. So stay away and pray that railgun technology advances.
LCDR. Houston Easton (Wheels): Alright, finally someone who can do some tricks. He can glide, pop a wheelie, and even do an alley oop! On a more serious note, this rigger is no joke. While what happened to him as a child is no joke, you can certainly blame the trauma from it for what he has become. I don’t hold shitty parents against this man, but I do hold his own actions against him. You can’t control how you were treated, but you can control how you treat others. This man – he treats others worse than anything that was done to him. Sure, beating and burning children is terrible. It was wrong, inappropriate, and traumatised him. However, that is no excuse to become a genocidal maniac working for the angry dragon of the south. Just because he has relocated to this unit isn’t going to change his ways. He has been hunting natives, Mexicans, and any northerner that he doesn’t deem fit to breathe the CAS air for many a decade. The advances in vehicles he has created are legendary, and some of his better known modifications have even made it onto the radar of legends like Thumper and the Mechanic. Beware, for riggers are like a big fraternity. When you attract one you end up attracting many.
Lt.Col. Norris Brooks (Pops): Hey Pops! Not! At least not my pop anyway. My pop wasn’t a conniving, scheming, southern piece of crap. He wasn’t a fixer and dealer who worked in illegal goods. He didn’t skim money from the honest people or run them up the road on the back of a truck. This Texan piece of dog shit shouldn’t have been allowed outside of that states borders, and I mean before they got their land back! There is a phrase in the common wealth. Now I may hate them too, but they hit the nail on the mark with this one. What’s in Texas should stay in Texas. These racist meta hating shits need to stay where they are. Otherwise we risk their ridiculous and out of date mentality escaping that area. If we are lucky Mexico will come up, take their land again, and wipe them all out with a nuke. Fucking Texas Elite started this shit. Now we are all getting screwed by it. Go to hell Pops, and take as many of your friends with you as you can. Maybe if you call in some favors you can get a full escort. After all, that’s your only true weapon – your damn phone.
CPT. George Eaton (Pitbull): Ah yes, the lap dog of the US Elite. For those who thought this group wouldn’t have one due to the felines, well you were wrong. Since Fenris hasn’t joined Pitbull will get all the treats in this order along with the other zoo animals under the keeper Ralph River’s thumb. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the animals are not just the shifters. This dog may not let go, but if it comes to food he will be last in line along with the Warden’s pets. This order is speciest – tigers first. Though unlike most of the other animals (we think) he carries a special flashlight. That’s right, another member of the President’s Men in this order. No surprise I guess, seeing as the President is also a member and will need protection. And if you think he isn’t a member then you are an idiot, seeing as he will be Ralph’s boss. He has already been sighted on base more than once. He will probably have an office in the building, and with the level of security at that location I wouldn’t be surprised if he spent more time there than in the White House. Though the fun thought is that unlike most dogs, this little puppy will fetch glowing toys along with the newspaper for his master. Put that image your noggin!
COL. Jackson Puck (Stitches): Another member of the Grimm, what a surprise. Well, this one is at least a bit unique as he is not Jewish. Yes, they did actually allow a normal person on the team. Though he is unique in more than just that, for he is a doctor. Little known to most among the warriors of the shadows is that Stitches is only a mediocre assassin at best. He lets his friend Death Bringer do all the slaughtering and destruction. Stitches himself is known best for the field doctor components of repairing others with his custom stitches. Truly nothing more than a stick in the mud. You see, the Brother’s Grimm RS-Team (red headed step child) needed a medic. Since Vortex is A-Team they recruited this has been to patch up Asylum. Needless to say he remains quite busy thanks to that fucking maniac. If you see Stitches run, for his companions may remove you from this world. If he is alone though, snap a picture and take a stab at running him through, you might get lucky. His skills outside of a doctor are no more than little Andrew or Ecto, and they can both be taken down by Next Gen runners. Find him alone and this removal will be simple, just don’t let him repair himself.
MAJ. Mildred Price (Equaliser): Another chick on the roster, talk about a rarity for an order. Most have none, some MAY have one. This one is already up to 3 and on the active roster below there is another one! Other than that all chick team that nobody respects this is the most the streets have ever seen! Well, the Equaliser as a runner is a sight to behold. Not in terms of beauty – its hard to tell whether she is her or her husband, but in terms of raw killing power. You see, unlike the younger women above she earned her keep. To prove it her husband issued her one of the tri twist daggers we know that Enigma likes to play with. She may not be much to look at unlike Nightshade and City, but at least she earned her keep and does her own thing. Rumor has it despite her lack of beauty that she is quite vain. One op apparently failed because she had to trek through the mud and when she saw her boots get trashed she got angry and made a sound. Now if we are lucky she will break a nail and get her and whatever squad she is on killed from the eruption of anger afterword.
LTG. Stuart Weston (War Zone): Ah the traitor himself. One of the most trusted patriots would of course be placed within this order. After all, even though Colonial is afraid of Conductor he still needs to keep an eye on what is going on. For that, who better than the man who has already killed his immediate commander? This assassin is well placed to remove good ol’ Canal the moment he and his pets let their guard down. It may take a few years, but in crisis they will eventually trust him and then it is all over. Looking forward to that day. As far as we know other than his removal of his boss (the former President of the US) he isn’t known for doing very much. They say that he is leading a force of Patriots inside Seattle, but it is obvious that their command has been relegated to General Rivers. From what we know he mostly spends his time in someplace called “The System” according to radio chatter. How fitting that the man who was once trusted enough to hold the “football” has been placed into a never ending BTL chip cycle. Must have seen too much and broken – took long enough. Nothing but the shell of a man here. Put him out of his misery if you catch him on the streets.
SGM. Corbin Washington (Sorcerer): Another magi in this group, that makes quite a few. I guess they needed a true magician and not one of those fake “Physical Magicians” like Set or Rags to run the magical department. After all, Nightshade and Bilbo are barely even casters in comparison to the greats and certainly can’t teach newbies how to work their way around a tome. Riptide would normally be a good fit for the job, but being a pirate means he knows how to cast find treasure and that’s it. Must be all the rum he swills, keeps his brain afloat – but in a small head all there is room for is more rum. Basic magical theory is all any of them can do since they devote all their time to slicing and punching. Muscle brained morons all of them. The Sorcerer originally hails from Denver and that means he is a piece of shit from the guard. After all, that’s all that survived Denver. They made sure that only their people made it out, and that is all. Don’t believe me? Find someone who isn’t ruination who lived. They even made sure to incite panic before they left to clog up the transportation lines. Anyway, as a runner Sorcerer was thought to be dead after the Battle for Seattle, but it appears (like most of those assholes) he was just lying low. With another runner of the Guard it shows that this order is really just a setup to bring back the terror of the rebels under the banner of the “USA”. We will all be silenced and persecuted. Just you wait and see.
CPT. James McGruff (Fusion): Ah, the hero of the rebellion himself. Fusion – the man who made Denver sink to the bottom of the Earth’s crust. If Doyle had hired someone besides this man to make it all happen then maybe it would have been harder to trace the whole plot back to him. Removal of the UCAS gem not only helped remove the threat for the Guard, but it also served as an excellent test for Fusion here. You see, this man may have signed up to be in the “US” Elite, but what he really meant was US minus California. Fusion has a basic concept, which is that once the “Old Glory” is re-established he will simply blow California off the coast of the US. Looks like he tested the concept on Denver, and hey it worked! Now once the US becomes one again California is next. Oh wait, it already is… Well, maybe they will import some new sand to the states that will now have a beach front. Better question, will that land mass sink or swim with the millions of people on it? Meh, doesn’t matter to this explosive asshole. He will just take a shit on all of them and flush them down the biggest toilet on the planet – the ocean. Great addition Conductor, must be a lot of people the Railroad wants dead in that area.
MAJ. Drake Nixon (Bolt): Oh good, we are at the high quality traitorous scum. Fiiiiiiiiiyyyuuuuuhhhhhh! That’s right kids, the man who used to be the main magical support for Urban Strike 1 has joined up with the US Elite. He was once a proud warrior for our country and then turned his back on his old squad. Worse, he turned his back on his father General James O’Brien. He may have been an adoptive father, but still! What do you think he will do to this ragtag group of operators? Probably mana bolt a few of them and then get killed. Well, we can at least hope that’s what happens. It is well known that Bolt is a magi, though the “Circle 22” part of his resume is total crap. He is todays version of an archmage. Rumor has it that he can summon a leyline and use it to empower his spells. Sadly, this is quite true. It has been caught on video numerous times. He is known to be able to send mana bolt spells to the physical plane and create lightning. Among the chatter of the rebels supposedly this is something called “ancient” magic. I know that there are old spells, but a spell is a spell. Old shouldn’t have anything to do with it. Just another bullshit scare tactic from the rebels.
LT. George Reid (Arctic): Brrrrrrr. I thought that only Vortex caused this problem. Talk about a cold front. Well, I guess that is why they call him Arctic. He is cold as ice – should have been a Meisner. Well, it is his job to even out Ringmaster’s fire, so I guess it’s a good thing he is as frigid as he is. Luckily this means he is also likely to turn on the group of crap he has joined. Wait…. He’s what?! New info just surfaced. This crap basket isn’t just a street runner with ties to the originals, he’s a Thunder Dog?! Never mind then, this changes everything! He has been fighting to kill the elves for decades! He is probably also a member of the federal immortality project just like most of these assholes. If he wasn’t then he has been lionized since. If he is part of that group then he is also affiliated with the Sentinels, which means he is both extremely dangerous and likely a monster in combat. If these fuckers are joining up with the elite things are going to get even more dangerous. Especially since many of their members are President’s Men and have many other affiliations. Beware, there is more here than we yet know.
Col. Geppetto Petrillo (Hellion): Looking to raise some hell for the legal civilians? Who better to call than the Hellion. If you are looking for death, destruction, decay, terrible humor, and old man smell call the Hellion today. Now that Tobias is dead, he is picking up in the business of torture. Thing is, he doesn’t exactly have willing clients… This bastard has been hunting those who the assholes who started this order deem worthy of death for decades. I know what you are going to say. “Isn’t he a bounty hunter? That’s what they do.” Well, no it isn’t. A legal bounty hunter organization would take bounties from all sources. Find one bounty that the World Court has put out that they have collected on in the last 20 years. What, can’t find one? How about the last 60? Hm… Noticing a pattern here? Sounds a lot like the train crash that is the current reboot of the Brotherhood of Mercenaries. Magically they don’t take jobs from the UCAS, or at least they didn’t until Kingsburry was sworn in. Now that Beast is getting put into office I suspect they will continue. Oh yes, totally legitimate. I’ve got a tunnel to China to sell you too.
Col. Elmer Jamestown (Doberman): Pitbull has a friend!!! You should see the two of them play together, their tails wag so fast. They play fetch with their pray, and run away from the tigers all the same. Though unlike Eaton, Doberman manages to fetch based on the man who watches, but if you bring two people their slippers I imagine they can both get along. After all, Watchmen and Conductor are cuddly individuals, right? Not!!! They are fucking murderous bastards. The fact that he is sharing one (and possibly more eventually) of his top men means that they are in fact in bed together. They are sharing their “bones” in an effort to help each other bone all the citizens in addition to each other! This shit needs to stop! Next thing you know Davis will be entering the fray! The corruption needs to end. You need to make your voices heard and deploy anti US Elite rallies. Let the leaders of this nation know that you stand against tyranny and it is they who are trying to oppress you! If this keeps up, everyone who is willing to voice an opinion will be dead. Or did you think that Black Death was a legal measure to stop us from our right to free speech?! For god sakes, wake up people!
COL. Arthur Rummy (Director): Ah, the return of the mummy. I wish I could say I was surprised, but since this order directly serves the president it makes sense that one of the head honchos would join. Oh wait, Mitch the Bitch already did! Well, not sure what this old man is going to do here other than increase the shoe industries profits. There is a coffee pot line for Beachworth, so I assume there is a combat loafer line for this man. Great use of government funds guys, totally not negligent at all. You see public, this is what we have to put up with. Not only does this guy dispatch assassins to kill us for speaking, but now we have to pay for his shoes?! Ranks up there with tiger food and extra cell phones. The number of quirks that have budget lines in this command structure is just fucked up. Elite my ass, spoiled brats. Ouch, my joints hurt, give me a pair of shoes. Disgrace to the country is more like it. Hopefully his lightsaber will activate by accident and we will no longer have to worry about him.
MAJ Stanley Rodgers (Ringmaster): Ah, so the pack has gone balls deep into this one. We have both of the leaders – oh god we have both of the leaders. That means if something is going on they can call on the whole damn thing. Add in that a few of its other runners had already signed up and you have a cluster fuck waiting to happen. Well now we know that this order will also control the Seattle PD since most of its influential members (including the damn commissioner) are a part of its roster. What can be said about this bastard, well we now know he was over in England fighting an unjust war along with a bunch of other individuals. It isn’t surprising since we know that his magical power is nearly without comparison. He probably sucked the one marrow out of our poor elven brethren to consume their essence. Fucking magical assholes, no more than jealous of the naturally gifted elves. Yes, the war was tough, but all fought well. When your country declared submission, you should have as well. I just hope that his friends and recruits are caught in this man’s fire. It will cut down the numbers, and possibly retire this old codger.
MAJ Russel Bookman (Brooklynn): Why not, we got Khan. What’s another member of the dozen going to do? Need brass that can’t move – check. 82nd is good for something, has beens. Need more officers? Gotcha on that front too. Looks like Brooklyn is your man. In actuality, him being appointed will save many lives. After all, once he and Ringmaster enter the barracks all of the recruits will ring the bell based solely on the smell of his cigars. Apparently, according to my contacts, there is a hierarchy of who’s smokes smell the absolute fucking worst. From what I understand, Brooklyn wins. If he isn’t arresting the falsely accused or planting evidence he is choking us out with fumes. Who says the 82nd doesn’t use chemical warfare – what do you think those things are? Wanna end a town? Set a bunch on fire inside a crate and drop it. NOBODY will stay behind. I’ll take the Sarin please, it’s a quicker and less painful death. Well, if all else fails, at least we will have a bunch of recruits that can fake evidence and get us executed through the court systems “legally” instead of being shot in the head while we sleep. Or watching as our women and children are raped and sold. There are rumors of people being food in the Bowery, I bet this fuck has something to do with the falsehood – or is providing the “meat”. Disgusting.
<<<You call yourself a reporter and yet you spew this kinda vile and hateful speech about good man, Russell sacrificed greatly to keep you all free and this is how you repay him. Joking about chemical warfare is simply not funny young man, sarin gas and chlorine gas are no laughing matter, I watched as the skin of my men melted and others drowned as their lungs filled up with fluid. War is hell and not something that should be mocked, Brooklynn has smoked those cigars from his eighteenth birthday and they were a gift from his father before his pop was killed in an auto accident….the last time Bookman would see his father was on his graduation day from boot. Bookman has been working diligently with the Seattle PD to bring down the Black Dragons that are behind the Salient Green that has been plaguing Seattle.
So seriously if you don’t have actual news to report and actual evidence to back up your claims, stick to the rant sites like a spoiled little brat. This is not high school and words have power and meaning, if you care to actually speak with Bookman and learn his story or learn ours please reach out. You mock our wounds well until you serve time in hell and sacrifice your body to save the innocent, keep your mouth shut you spoiled little bastard…..Patches Out>>>
CPT. Wilbur Chapel (Sinkhole): When the hurricane has left the area what do you have to watch out for next? Why, sinkholes of course! Where his brother works in mass destruction, this man works in deceptive explosives. He and his friends go into an area and lay their “presents” all over the place. Then when the proper residents go to move about their day they get trapped and killed. There have been more civilian casualties from the Wolverines (the group this man is a part of) than any other Patriots task force or special operations unit. Sinkhole himself truly enjoys watching anyone get caught in his trap. Enemy, ally, civilian, none of those things matter to him. There are rumors that there have even been a few Seattle runners that have gotten caught in his traps. Well, all that means is that the recruits here will likely fall into a surprise and be destroyed. Fewer grunts means a smaller military branch, and therefore easier removal by those who are actually fighting for our rights.
CPT Caldwell McDougall (Numbers): Oh lahdee frickin da, another one of these assholes that gets caught in war and complains about it. Oh no, it was hell out there. They broke the rules! Yes, gassing is wrong (Brooklyn, talking about you here!), but so is judging an ENTIRE culture and species from the actions of a few from decades ago. The world healed from Hitler in less time, so let this shit go! You fucking started World War three in this order, so pony up and deal with it. Want some statistics? Most frontline soldiers who go to war don’t come back. Your unit dying is part of the way this shit works. Don’t like it, then don’t sign up! You responded to what your country needed and for that we thank you, but give it up. You have your benefits and if I see you I will buy you a cup of coffee and lunch, come on down to the stuffer shack on 2nd and Main. I’m there most mornings. War stories belong in textbooks and colleges, not on the shadow wiki. Stop operating in the shadows and we will stop trying to spread the truth.
1LT. Jacob Wersler (Miner): Another mercenary, no surprise. After all, this entire branch is basically just a mercenary team. Just a bunch of professional runners working together to manufacture civilians into runners for the government. Not very unique really, General O’Brien did it years ago. Hell, the song even transferred. New branch of government, yeah right. More like US 1 reborn, and isn’t it interesting that when O’Brien did it they were monsters yet now they are heroes. Miner here is a perfect example of a civilian turned runner. Troubled childhood, incarceration or serve, and then when serving was done he decided to go back to his killing ways. No better training in street death than joining the Brotherhood of Mercenaries. Who better to learn from than raging assholes like Ragnarok and Juggernaut. Just shoot and keep going. Never halt, no mercy, just kill. This is what the new branch of government will be and all the members of the Brotherhood and of Asgard are just proof of that. If you haven’t heard of Asgard, they are the special forces of the Brotherhood. Talk about a group of crazy sons of bitches. Be wary, for death awaits enemy, ally, and civilian when these men take to the battlefield.
VADM. Wesley Reid (Holmes): Corruption in the Elite? Not a chance… Oh wait, they have the police commissioner? That can’t be a bad sign, it isn’t like the SPD is corrupt or anything. I mean, what kind of independent city would allow the criminals to run the police. That would be like letting the inmates run the prison. Well, if you couldn’t smell the sarcasm coming from as far away as his cigar then you haven’t been paying very much attention. Holmsey here is a legendary runner and was the partner for Stamps *cough* Detective Crane for decades. Yet, somehow he never noticed he was a runner despite being an expert detective….. Yeah, ok. Hey look, the Professor is telling the truth and Mr. Black gave away money! Yeah, all about the same likelihood. Holmes here has been helping his partner get away with murder (literally) for decades. Don’t think it stops there either, for if you help Stamps then you help the entire pack – or should I say you help the captains of SPD. In case you missed the above information, the Wolf Pack and their closest friends LITERALLY run the SPD. The chief of Detectives (also in this order) has been a known member of the Post Office for an eternity, and we know that anyone who works for them can’t be trusted as far as they can be thrown. See Professor and Mr. Black above for examples (fucking lightsaber wielding douchebags).
CPT. Sherwood Thorpe (Tackle Box): So we have graduated from hiring “legitimate” mercenaries and retired vets to just straight up street killers. Yup, this order has morals… Tackle Box is an interesting runner (I refuse to call him more than that) in that he terrorized the South for years, and then decided it would be safer up here away from the legitimate policing authorities. For the last couple decades he has been living the peaceful double life. He has raised a wife and children (until Frogger thankfully removed them – have to stop this crap at the roots) and lived as both a wage slave and a runner on the side. Now, don’t ask me when he slept, but then again I don’t really care. Now it turns out he had a kid a while back and that child is Burner. Wonderful, the damn runners are procreating. We need to sick Spade on all of them so that we can stop this shit before it gets any worse. It may take time for the kids to grow, but since they are all immortal, they just hit their prime and stop! Eventually they will have enough to fill this entire army (they are already starting) and then we are all screwed. Hold onto you hats people, we need to start manufacturing our own squad of immortals. Start having kids if you are above average in athletics!
COL. Harold Reynolds (Holiday): Another street samurai and patriot, Holiday as he is known is both our fire chief, as well as a member of the Harbor Knights. Yes yes, we get the pattern, get the corrupt officials that run Seattle within the group so that they can cover your six when you break the law. They do it when the Hivebusters torch a building, so why not when the elite decide that napalm is needed? It worked at the Irish Sea, so it will work here too. The UCAS (which it still is you assholes) isn’t more resistant to fire than Europe. We just have better food and more grit. This supposed royal enjoys his time in Seattle by burning people alive if they disagree with his mantra. His preferred weapon is a custom flamethrower (yes – the Chief of Fire carries flamethrowers at all times, the irony is palpable) and he uses it with extreme precision and accuracy. He is basically a Stamps fireball seeing as he is known not to be an adept. Though from what the streets say Stamps may actually be an adept now, and that is downright fucking terrifying. That man is a walking gearbox and now he has magic? I sense cybermancy here – maybe someone should talk to a mage about taking out his medicine injector with a simple spell and ending the nightmare.
LTG. Holiday Enfield (Terminator): Another rebel, another day I suppose. Always great to wake up in the morning and do my job as a citizen to keep others safe. Anyway, who do we have… oh, didn’t realize my recorder was on. Guess my research on Bueller has been rubbing off on me. Oh look, an Enfield! I thought they were mostly extinct. Well, this one has survived and boy is she a doozy. Former member of the green berets and now a member of the Elite – and 3-star general at that! Holy crap! Not only is she the highest ranked female member, she is only outranked by Conductor, Brigadier, Moray, Mitch (in I-Corp matters only). Talk about a badass bitch, she must have kicked some serious ass in her day. This explains why her incompetent brother is still alive, she must have been covering for him. In fact the entirety of the masons still being around (the 6 or so of them that we know of) makes sense if this monster was using her contacts and husband to help them constantly. Otherwise the only mason that should have stuck around would be the one we didn’t suspect, Crab. Who the hell gives the keys to the vault to a fucking clepto? Now I know why they haven’t been broken into, he already emptied them!! Talk about hiding in plain sight….
CPT. Hugh O’Malley (Khan): The first “official” tiger of the leader of the Harbingers in this assortment of characters. Well, who says you have to be sober in order to be a member of a military order? In fact, you don’t even have to be sober to run a division of the SPD. Matthews has been proving it for years, and now Khan is helping with it! Though if you ever wondered why there have been zero shifter captures for the last 7 or so months within Seattle you are looking at the reason right here. Turns out he doesn’t want to arrest his buddies (or himself for that matter). This man has been caught drunk in public more times than the Director smacking someone with a loafer, and he has a budget for that! Though maybe a Tiger can be made to fetch slippers. Well, hopefully he will finally catch his old prey Agent White and we will be rid of a Harbinger (when is the last time one of those fuckers died – we really need a better record with that). Khan himself, all kidding aside, is a powerful member of the originals and runs the Dirty Dozen. Yes, that means this group can call on them as well. The allies of this branch of the military are literally larger than the branch itself. We need to have a large battle and wipe them out before they get too big. It worked a few times….
1LT. Jeffery Hitch (Yankee): KIA (30/12/74) RIP – The Yankee was brought to justice during the attempted retaking of the UCAS. Let this be a reminder, anyone can die. You all need simply wait for your time.
Lt. Col. Edward Adams (Ranger): Well, where the boss goes so do the rank and file. Ranger here is nothing to sneeze at as he is one of the most dangerous snipers on the planet. He sits among the upper echelon near monsters like Tracer, Doyle, and even near Crosshair. According to our sources it would seem to be that he is personally training the recruits, which means that they are all going to be crack shots. In fact, they have all been trained by some of the best runners in the world, but this isn’t about them. Ranger himself is extremely dangerous not only due to his expertise in shooting, but also in his survival capabilities in the wild. This man can hunt within both the urban and jungle areas, which make him the perfect nanny for Khan, as well as the perfect babysitter for all the zoo animals when Rivers is out and about. Don’t forget ladies and gentlemen, there are quite a few English in this group and every child needs a nanny. Or group of children. Given that even the sabretooth tiger (which I still can’t believe exists – cloning bullshit for when a “normal” tiger isn’t enough) is kept on a tight leash then you have to assume that someone will be keeping them in line. Since he already does it for his boss, Ranger is the perfect candidate to take care of all the others. Especially since their Pitbull will need to go on a walk at least once every few hours…
CPT. Rodger Milton (Warrior): The Old Guard has decided to throw their hat into the main structure too? Since Vortex joined the medical division it makes sense that many of his teammates will likely follow his example. The Warrior is know for a number of things. Combat prowess and tactical knowledge are certainly two of them, but where he really shines is being unhappy. This man is known far and wide for constantly having something to gripe about. We are looking into a possible relationship between him and the Curmudgeon, but there isn’t anything to connect them just yet. Though since they are both here maybe they will form a new duo. If they feed off each other it will save many lives. Why you may ask? That is because the level of complaining will get to such a point that you will hear them coming and be able to run. Now the only question is how do we send the Warrior to I-Corp. Never mind that’s easy! His boss is a Grimm and probably a member of it himself (you don’t really think they would release the full list publicly do you?!). He will drag his team into it fully. Well, now we need only wait for the leaks as they complain about things that are top secret.
LCDR. Rutherford Rupert PhD (Kit Kat): Time for a snack? Wait, where’s Gummy? We know Tang is up top. Well, you guessed it, we have another runner named for a food or drink that he likes a bit too much. At least this one makes sense. Tang tastes like ass, but at least Kit Kats are yummy, or so this man make unsuspecting targets believe when he is at the club. Why is it everyone has daddy issues… Another terrifying killer and hunter of man has been added to the roster here. Seems like this group likes the type that skull fucks you – both literally and figuratively. They have Chancellor and Kenobi, and now another master of mental masturbation. They really want to force the public to accept them as legitimate despite their nonsense. Otherwise why would they bother employing so many masters of the mind? It truly is incredible to me how people can miss what is going on. For god’s sake, he is called a devil rat! You know, those pests that like to rise up and try to kill us from the sewers. The ones that leach disease into the populace and destroy people from the inside out. Actually, sounds like a pretty good description. Maybe make it his handle instead of just his team’s name. Oh wait, they all follow that moniker. Nevermind… Cause to him you never had one anyway.
CW2 Oliver Rampart (Interment): Crap. Man, I knew the rebels weren’t always nice to each other, but this just takes it up a notch. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the man who believes himself to be the headless horseman! He rides into battlefields, stalks them on a “fire breathing steed” – cause those exist – and then after a couple days of intimidating the men he kills the commander. Now, his work is well documented by the Grimm’s, specifically alongside their fairy tales. That said, if this person is real, and since he is a member of the Library he probably is, then he will likely take care of all our problems for us. He will stalk the base for a few days, walk in, and then kill the Conductor. This will take care of a major component to the new bullshit government, destabilize this branch, and deal a fatal blow to all the teams that currently reside in that compound – which is basically the entire rebel alliance! Hell, why haven’t we just SOL’d or nuked the shit out of that area? Even if King makes it out again, everyone else will die and this bloody world war III can be skipped! Internment, you are officially my new favorite member. Go do your thing!
WO. River McConnell (Broadcast): No known information exists on Broadcast other than that he is a patriot, works for Gremlin, and was a bitch at the top of this page. We will post more when more information comes to light.
Col. Ronald Trask (Contra): KIA (31/12/74) RIP – Contra was brought to justice during the attempted retaking of the UCAS. Let this be a reminder, anyone can die. You all need simply wait for your time.
SFC. Gavin Macanders (Pretender): Oh woe is the Conductor. What is a genocidal maniac bent on taking over the world meant to do if they cannot put together a real army branch? Now, he already has access to nearly every top level and elite runner team in the country (at least the ones that matter anyway), but what if you need a military too? Well, you hire a bunch of pretenders to staff it! Now, there are around 100 of them here, but none quite as on the nose as Gavin here. Fakers like Raptor, Rags (priest my ass!), Mister, Holmes, and Morpheus at least try to look legit while they are raping us. This guy is so full of shit even his friends and team-mates call him a pretender. He walks into a place, pretends he owns it, and is such a convincing liar that people believe him! Legends state that he once walked into a Doc Wagon hospital, went up to the general manager, convinced him that he had been demoted and during he cleaning out his office struck down his target! This, ladies and gentlemen, is what our new branch looks like. Looks like another one heading straight to I-Corp. In fact, pretty much this ENTIRE list is just a bunch of people working for Mithy boy.
MSG. Hal Beachworth (Hyde): KIA (30/12/74) RIP – Hyde was brought to justice during the attempted retaking of the UCAS. Let this be a reminder, anyone can die. You all need simply wait for your time.
MG. Robert Hill (Raptor): I keep getting confused with this one. Is he alive, dead, mayor, commissioner, runner, cop, dad, husband, serial murderer, or maniac this week? Honestly, the only thing that surprised me about Raptor recently was to find out he was one of those Library fuckers. At least that’s what my contacts said, though I thought intel on them was basically impossible to come by. Well, whatever they say seems to be true. It’s so true that it rivals up the rebels pretty directly – if you need proof go take a look at the Post Office. They are apparently losing their minds after their agents and special operatives got outed along with their schemes. Apparently they created World War III! So much for military veterans who don’t want to see fighting. Anyway, Raptor has done it all. He is basically the closes thing to a founder while still being the epitome of a Next Gen runner. That means he has poodle fucked this city repeatedly and caused laws to be written. He and his wife (who was a true runner of the people and friend to all – RIP Crazy Glue) are major reasons why so many law enforcement officers carry anti-magic if they can find it. On top of his runner antics Raptor has gone from runner, to cop, to commissioner, to mayor, to dead, to judge, and now to general. Ugh, talk about a confusing resume even for a runner. We have a petition for him to go two steps back and stay there.
SGT. Rodger Simpson (Witcher): The Witcher, sounds like an old video game title I once heard. Has anyone tossed him a coin? What can I say about this piece of shit? Well, for one I think he works for the Post Office in addition to this shit show. He spent his entire career being a mercenary for governments so that all his killing and breaking of humanity was sanctioned. Sound like any other killers you might know? Oh yeah, the Kingsman and President’s Men! Yup, this guy is likely one of their secret members. These bastards find ways around the laws and then use the opportunity to become exceptional at combat. Whether it’s through the military, an order, or some other loophole they make themselves untouchable by law enforcement. The way they rape and pillage our system is disgusting. Now they all have another way to kill, torture, dismember, and defile the innocent legally. What they are allowing Conductor and his agents of the railroad to do is atrocious. For crying out loud, the Witcher is a member of the HRM, which is openly a racist group! For fuck’s sake enough is enough!
GEN Saul Oxford (Atari): All hail our hero Atari back to play the game! This man has come the closest to executing several of our biggest enemies! Colonial and his most trusted advisers were in the middle of getting their necks stretched when they sadly rescued by the Sea Wolves. Talk about shit luck, but this time he knows to watch out for that (now known to be) Harbinger. This time according to my contacts he upgraded to the deluxe set and is cashing in all of his chips. Just wait, some of his background won’t make sense and then you will be able to see it coming. Though since nobody believes us you will simply meet your fate Rivers. We look forward to seeing the full length of your neck for the treasonous and exploitative acts that you have committed. You and all of your friends shall burn in heaven for what you have done to the UCAS. The hostile takeover of the CAS and California shall be paid for in your blood.
GySgt. Ronald Jamestown (Union): Alright! Now this is what I’m looking for! Finally some members that can be taken down by children. These “Iron Wolves” – more like hurt puppies – are some of the biggest HAS BEENS that have ever existed. They went through hell and made it out, but not without significant battle damage. Virtually all of the old codgers that were in the shit that day are barely capable of moving. Walking is a chore even when they are on medication. Most survive due to the advent of some technology or cloned limbs and still require exceedingly large amounts of medication just to move. This should make them prime candidates to be picked off. Just look for when they are seen moving well, and then target them a few hours later. With persistence we will be able to catch them at the end of a dosage and they will either start to slow down or have to stop and take an injection, which will leave them as prime targets. All these years we thought they were the hunters, but it is just the prey putting up a strong front. If we all work together we can get rid of the ghosts of the past.
<<<Hey Chummer, put your money where your mouth is….I seriously think you just wrote a check your ass can’t cash. The 51st are the Alpha Wolves and something to fear and respect. Telling people to hunt the Iron Wolves is sending dreamers to an early grave….First off Union is a Jamestown and second we are the Few, The Proud, and The Brave. We are United States Marines and we are no joke, we are the ones that stand in the face of tyranny and defend liberty with everything we have. So if you want to run your mouth insulting us and telling dreamers to come at us…..well chummer it’s your funeral……..Stamps Out>>>
COL. Kennedy McCain (Alcatraz): Lets repeat this verse, same as the first. Angry Scotishman – check. Hates the elves – par for the course on this unit. Fought in an epic battle and wants to wine about it – see half a dozen others. Wants respect as a soldier, yeah ok. Stop claiming that your country didn’t surrender. It’s in the history books and now after all these years you want to change it? Ha, okay. So what is there that is new about this man? Well for one it looks like his name is a place instead of a food, so that’s something I suppose. Honestly, there really isn’t anything worth mentioning. These Ashen Riders are just another of the groups trying to prove that they went through the worst of the shit. Seems like all these army bastards are no more than a bunch of runners trying to figure out who is the most kick ass – and the answer is none. They should just go to a memorial and start bickering like the Next Gen runners at the Lantern. I did an op at an archology, well I did a pyramid run, well I blew up an archology, well I held the city hostage cause I like tacos…. Sound familiar? The answer is obvious anyway, king wins the battle. Aint nobody else who survived a nuke, so stop fighting. Pussies.
MAJ Harvey Cannon PhD (Drownyard): Oh god a Cannon has joined. That can’t be a good sign. Well, it’s one of the more sane ones (note I said more, not completely sane). Though this is the one that likes to play with bombs. Oh boy, just what this unit needs. Another explosions expert. Pop goes the weasle? Think more like pop goes the civilian. Or the car. Or the building. Potentially even with the poor innocent bastards inside them when they go. The bounty hunters are known for not giving a crap when it comes to collateral damage, so I don’t expect that this one will just start caring because he is in a different unit. What can be said about Drownyard himself? Well, he is a Cannon and that means that you can assume he knows how to play with toxins. He may not be known for it, but its in his fucking blood. He probably mixes them with his bombs. You know, so that if you are “lucky” enough to live you can spread disease to your family and all of your friends. Honestly, no redeeming qualities here to be found. Just another spec of trash on the shit pile that is the elite.
CAPT. Saul Livingston (Smoky): They seriously let the angry rigger from the death’s hand in here? God damn, they are just repatriating all the demons from the hand?! What the hell are they thinking? They literally picked up all of the high command from the hand except Alexander, half the generals, and most of the inner circle! Does nobody see the pattern here? Oh yes, bring in the ANGRY RIGGER who loses his shit at the drop of a hat and likes to take it out on civilians by carpet bombing them! Is this seriously what our country has come to? This is how Colonial leads?! Don’t think for a second the Jamestowns are running the show, they are just the Kingsbury’s puppets. Much like many of our world’s “leaders”. Makes you wonder who is controlling the king of England. The lost templar “happened” upon a ring in the shire? Ya right, what is this Lord of the Fucking Rings? Talk about bullshit. And since Longshanks is a member of the 41 and that means he is on base. Suck on that one for a moment. The only question left is who holds Smoky’s reigns? Are they going to marry him off too? If you see him on a leash next to the tigers you will know where this wild animal sits. Though if you like breathing I suggest a bomb shelter that is nuclear rated. It may take your life savings, but since he doesn’t forgive you can bet even if you could he wouldn’t let you take your money with you.
COL. Thomas Kissinger (Gargoyle): Well now, here we have the mighty Gargoyle. How the powerful have fallen prey to the tides of time and war. The secrets kept have been lost, talents hidden have been exposed, and even the mighty Gargoyle can be forced to give up on removing simple enemies if they are well enough connected. Even a simple new breeder can now snuff their nose at an original, ruin their reputation, and then become family. Talk about how the roles have changed. Though as we have seen further into his home life maybe he was simply looking to upgrade his “son” like a piece of cyber. That is the way of upgrades – for in computers smaller is usually considered better. Make no mistake, the Gargoyle himself is virtually unassailable. However, we have something now that we have been looking for. He has a weakness – the pathetic beings that cling to him like a parent. Take out the kids and he will fold like a house of cards. It has been seen how protective of his “children” he is and they are easy marks. Just a few well placed shots. My colleague offered a million a head, to which I will add another million AND help you claim the world court offerings. At least one of the three is worth quite a pretty penny, and the other two aren’t cheap either. In addition, I will pay quite the pretty penny for the location of their family graveyard. I hear the mother is there, but I would like to make sure it isn’t just a ruse to keep her safe. Happy hunting true bounty hunters, for there is a lot of cash to be found here. Maybe we can take down the stronghold of evil that is the Crystal Dragons yet. Don’t be fooled, his membership here is nothing more than convenience. Eventually he will rape the country of whatever supplies he needs and move on. That is the way of the ninja after all.
CPT. Sherman Willard (Hunter): Of the many runners on this site I don’t agree with (which is most), this one I disagree with based on his song in addition to the shit show that is his divorced asshole demeanor. Sherman here, as he likes to be called, is one of the grumpiest cops that you have ever met. He makes Beachworth look like a polite little choir boy. Though apparently this soured individual feels he is a hero. Let me tell you this, heroes aren’t hard to find – they just don’t exist here. I can point you to a couple, starting with Lord Huntington and Lord Malone. They, unlike you and the rest of your butt buddies here, fight for the survival of the meta and human races. They hunt the rebellious and murderous members of the planet in order to insure we all remain breathing. The rebellion may have become the leading power in congress now, but only through the death, extortion, rape, bribery, and torture of those who were leading the country in its true evolution. One day you will pay for all that you did to the UCAS and her people, and you will learn that your ways only lead to destruction.
<<<It’s Captain Willard young man, the only people allowed to address me by first name are those that outrank me or I divorced…..and now my current wife. On another note I have done more good for this city and for Dallas when I worked there then you will ever do, if you keep paying lip service to Edgar and Legion than you are seriously misguided and ill informed. The law allows you to run your mouth you little brat, but be cautious of what you say as words have power and Freedom Of Speech does not protect you if your words incite violence or criminal activity….such as paying for a hit, young man that is considered Facilitation Of Murder in the First with Special Circumstances and that comes with a one way trip to the gallows.
There is enough evidence on this page from your own Matrix IP Address to hang you, so be warned that if you keep spewing nonsense and falsities on the Matrix and someone takes you seriously and acts on it, you could end up being arrested, tried and executed. So simply stick to the facts young man and actually learn what it means to be a journalist or law enforcement officer……CPT Willard Out>>>
COL. Eliot Ness (Gunslinger): Alright, what the fuck people. This bastard disappears from the PD without a trace. No word for personal time to the department (yes – we are everywhere bitches). Even they were starting to look for a dead body. Now all of a sudden he shows up with a new INSANE weapon, blows a bunch of people away (the damn thing is louder than Stamps gun for crying out loud!) and is all of a sudden all buddy buddy with EVERYONE in the rebellion. What changed? I’ll tell you, he joined another order! We don’t know which one, but every order has its calling card. For the Crystal Dragons it’s the way they fight, for the Kingsmen its their specialized blades. The Presidents Men – if I have to tell you their specialty then you should get off the fucking site. I’m going to call this new group (until better info is known) the outsiders. So far we suspect three members. Ness, Ducky, and Talon. The reasoning for the third will be explained below. What we know so far is that they are all gunslinger adepts and they all wield specialized weapons. Other likely members include our incoming president, the Gunfighter, and various other specialists. More on that shortly. Cause this is just what we needed, another unknown group that works within the rebels. Fan-fucking-tastic.
MAJ Bernard Beachworth (Ducky): The shorter and shorter bastard himself. Well, wherever Ness goes you can be sure Ducky follows, and he has now joined this new group with is buddy. Out of curiosity, what the hell is a Talon Hell Bringer? Answer – the partner to Hell’s Opus. See a connection? If not, get your eyeballs out of the chlorine (a lesson this asshole learned). Ducky pulled the same “dead” bullshit stunt that Ness did and came back with a big gun and an even bigger attitude (coffee pots worldwide beware). It seems this new group likes to operate outside of any specific rebel agency. There are a few other assumed members starting with Brooklyn (how he has kept his specialized gun a secret we don’t know). There are gunslingers in every single rebel agency. They operate outside of caring about their individual pieces. You can see this in major encounters where deadly enemies stand side by side. You don’t really think that if there wasn’t something funky going on that they would let pirates be cops in Seattle, do you? We don’t know when the outsiders started, but we know that they are a serious threat. We are still waiting for word from our sources for more data, but one thing is sure. They are in every agency, they move about with impunity, and there is no border or location they cannot infiltrate. Beware readers they are everywhere and when their bosses find out it is going to be a bloodbath. We suspect that this is why the Hand crumbled. The Storm Riders may just be a division of this unit. If it is, then god help us all.
CPT Stewart Greenly (Patches): Trusty Patches, the Professor’s bitch turns up wherever he does. No surprise that he has joined this group. This place is basically just the US approved Death’s Hand. We have all the high command structure in the generals, as well as many of the regional generals and inner circle members. Patches himself is known worldwide as a major power player in the world of the mercenary. He has done just about any mission you can imagine and many that you don’t know exist. His specialty is religious persecution and hurting the innocent, which is why he was a perfect fit for the hand. He spent the last few decades perfecting the art of hanging the leaders of other countries and removing problems or “loose ends” as they called them. The fact that this maniac and killer has been allowed in this order means that he is returning to his old masters and will be up to his old tricks making a mess of the country. Well, then again, he was still making a mess of the US while he was a member of the Hand, so maybe we will at least be able to keep him in our sites as he rapes us this time. This order truly has no moral compass.
COL. Russel Winters (Crosshair): Well now, this is disturbing. Aside from another member of the 41 who has joined, we have the number 1 sniper on the planet here. The worst part is that the only individuals who could dispute that ranking are also here? Talk about force recon potential! Well, at least we know this one will be too busy complaining about his injuries to do anything. Actually, maybe his membership will help us all. You see, if they are all here they will just get off track talking to each other and never do their work. Plus, we will have the added bonus of the Egyptian people being able to actually explore their heritage and ancient tombs. For those who don’t know, the Sentinels “claimed” the valley of the kings and will not allow the national scholars to learn from their forefathers. For a bunch that wants to spread the history, they are certainly quite the set of hypocrites. Well, you know how it is with the rebels, “do as I say, not as I do”. Sadly since they do not seem to have qualms about shooting the innocent, we have to deal with their rules for now. One day they will get theirs.
COL. Jamie Surrey (Kickback): What the hell is this shit? Alright, at least we know the actual group name. It’s not the Outsiders, but this “Surrey Gang”. That’s a stupid name, especially since they gained their fame in the states, but nobody ever said that the rebels had any sort of naming sense worth writing home about. Looks like they are originally from England – no surprise there. Now we know where to start looking for their family and old documents. Those guns look dangerous as hell, and the fact that this guy calls the Director the boss is horrifying. That means that the Post Office and President’s Men are in his pocket. All the intel on this planet is at his fingertips. That means they likely wield lightsabers and almost certainly all have sneak suits. Finding them will be impossible, and if you hide behind a barrier they will just slice it down. It seems as though this order just keeps looking for evil men to make legal and this is just the next iteration of that process. Stay tuned for more, for where the boss goes the followers follow.
<<<Fools the Outlaws Five or the Surrey Gang name comes from me and my brothers being the majority members, yes we all hail from Surrey England and yes we are all family! Now you demure prick…..you just committed suicide and when I find you I will bury you on Boot Hill as well I will butcher everyone you know and love, you just killed everyone you ever knew for insulting me and my family. Your soul better belong to Jesus cause your ass belongs to me and I will send you to an early grave…..Oklahoma Kidd Out>>>
Lt. Col. Tommy Jamestown (Sixxkiller): Sixxkiller is a Jamestown!! Alright, this is completely fucked. You mean to tell me that this outlaw is a member of the first family come the 20th January? We knew Beast was a monster (thus his name), but to think his family has this rat bastard is horrifying. How can they possibly allow this embarrassment exist let alone join a supposed “elite” order? He literally makes a living destroying borders and bringing destruction to every country he can ride his bike to! This has got to be a hoax. There is no way he is a Jamestown. They are political power player and powerhouses, not common street thugs. I know our contacts have a lot of intel, but this is simply ridiculous. To think the Cowboys from Hell are funded by the most powerful family in the world (other than possibly those of the Grimm – and even that is unknown at this point) scares the literal shit out of my pants. Who else do they fund? Are their hands in the Regulators too? What about the Harbingers or Despicables? They have ties to both after all. This can of worms has just opened all kinds of concerns. More research will have to be done. Too bad this was discovered after the election. Hopefully it will help remove these dictators (who are family to THE DICTATOR!) from office before it is too late.
LCDR Rusty Rutherford (Asbury): Well well well, we have Dragnet here. Another whore of the badge committee. Mariner, cop, Harbinger, gunslinger (Surrey Gang Apprentice?), Railroad, and now US Elite. Looks like he ran out of organizations to work with/for and decided to grab the low hanging fruit. This corrupt cop has been using his connections to assassinate people for the Railroad and siphon information to the Mariners for decades. He has crossed the line nearly an infinite amount of times to keep his people out of jail and makes sure they never see the inside of a courtroom. Now as a member of the elite (working for another of his bosses, the Conductor) he will make sure that any case that these bastards are pursuing internally never goes anywhere. If it is connected to the members of this group who he deems “important” then the evidence will be set to exonerate them. In fact, it will likely lead to a true patriot like those who lost the election. Expect to see these legitimate politicians persecuted for trying to stand up for all of us in the first place. Another “good cop” has been exposed, and hopefully this will make it in time to save an innocent soul from his wrath. After all, you don’t notice “Black Death” giving a shit as to who it kills.
GEN. Adolf Gunner (One Drop): Well now, how the tides have shifted and changed. The once former sycophant of Alexander, working hard to make High Command has all of the sudden overtaken his former boss and is now a 4 star general. Though quite a bit of information has also changed. For starters, this once thought to be Street Samurai is now known to be one of the most dangerous gunslinger adepts on the planet. When he isn’t busy shooting the wings off a fly at 200 meters he enjoys re-enacting fights from the popular Star Wars movies. If that isn’t enough, he can swing “across the pond” for a lovely lunch with the king and remind him to stay in line. You see, he is essentially a member of every elite squad we know. He is even a member of the 41 strong! Worse, and this is what gets my goat, is that he is a Harbinger! We suspected it since the very beginning when War Machine started showing up, but who would have thought he would join the moment the Hand came to an end? Further, have you noticed how almost all of the “unofficial” members of the Harbingers are in the leadership of the Elite? Yeah, so did we. Looks like this is really just a ploy to make all the members of the Harbingers legit. How long have they been planning this? Well, at least since the Professors “little boy” joined the Hand and began to solidify all of the alliances. We aren’t sure whether or not Ralph is a true mastermind or just a pawn, but only time will tell.
GEN. Herschel Horowitz (Checkmate): Hm… I guess I have time for one more. I am a bit tired, but then again who sleeps anyway? Certainly not this guy. Alarm clock as they call him here is known for being awake all the time. That and on missions apparently he likes to wake his friends up at the slightest sign of danger. Turns out that this man and his life partner are like two peas in a pod. Though they never knew that when they would adopt they friends kid that he would fit in perfectly… Now, about Checkmate himself – well this man is a nightmare. According to some of our independent sources even dragons are afraid to attack this man. That said, for those looking to finish the job apparently sea creatures are highly effective! Outside of a flying shark (literally a sharknado) there is virtually nothing that can get the drop on good old Checkmate here. He sees it all coming and with reflexes that make lightning look like a crawling child he cuts down any and all adversaries with the flick of his wrist. This man is a monster to behold in combat and if you take him out of the fray he is even worse as a general. His tactics are brutal and effective. Along with the Jackal he managed to subjugate the entire continent of Africa in just a few years. Not conquer, subjugate. Be afraid, for he will do that here in the UCAS as well till we are all in slave collars. All bow to the return of the Hand.
COL. Reinhold Yule (Genocide): Wherever Checkmate is to be found, you must have a knight to jump the queen. Now, I’m not sure who the queen is in this order (though I am thinking of you Declord – we know it’s only a matter of time), but the knight is definitely this man. Genocide, being a member of the Kingsman just like his commander, is a fully sanctioned knight of England and has been fucking his master’s pawns since before the game was invented. If there is a sacrifice that needs to be made then genocide uses his tempo advantage to zugzwang his opponent into losing any hope of surprise. Then, once they have moved, he sacrifices them to whatever evil thing in the astral that he and his master worship. Thank you for the tip on the power hiding in our world, we now just need to figure out how to help bring it back. Then it can save us. Though back onto this man, Genocide has never had a moral compass and therefore blindly does whatever his masters say. He now simply has even more masters and with a bastard like Beast at the top I can only imagine what they will have him do. I guess the queen’s gambit earlier didn’t work, so its time to move onto the four knights defense. Wait a moment, we even have Horsemen and Cavalry, anyone else getting nervous?
MAJ GEN. Wesley Taffer (Taffy): A little to the left. No, a maybe a little to the right. How about up? Ah fuck it, just go in all those at the same time! I’m sure someone will ride into the rescue with a few extra nails and a big wooden cross. Oh, oops, I was still connected. Well look who it is to the rescue, good old Taffy. He has quite a bit of experience in being pulled in all directions. Though apparently he also has quite the knowledge of lightsabers seeing he is a member of the President’s men. I am a bit curious what this UFF is on their flag. Also not sure what the 501st is, but then again these people are morons and may just have an error on their symbol. Still strange to see the slave owning confederates working with them Yankees. Though I guess the times they be a changing, and if you want your times to not include fire breath then you go where it is safe. Must be embarrassing though to have to run from your own country because your boss is a fucking wack job. Only took them 100 years longer than the rest of the planet to figure that one out. Then again, as Taffer would know since he stole from their budget, the schools down there aren’t very good. What else can be expected of the inbred.
MAJ GEN. Arnold Malone (Schoolmaster): When asked why his brother’s schools were so poor, all he could say was “Not My Fault!”. Really, he needs a better catch phrase. The more you deny it the more we just assume its your fault. After all, there is usually a reason you are being accused (just like some of the people you have mentored…). Arnold himself, well, it really is his fault pretty much all of the time. He goes on operation with the Horsemen and Cavalry, causes a ruckus (like in the bayou recently), and then has to defend it. What do you expect when you are funneling money, information, resources, and contacts away from your state and into your pocket? Ever wonder why he raises taxes every year and still seems to be at a deficit? I don’t’ – just look at Willhuff’s budget. You can find all the hard earned money from the people he is supposed to protect right there. Then he gets all uppity when the Powder Keg gets angry at them for turning their backs on their southern pride. He might have picked the wrong time, but he didn’t pick the wrong targets! Arnold – it is your fault. Maybe you should take responsibility for your actions. Didn’t you learn that as a kid? Where are your parents. Ok, serious note, where are his parents. Rebels are all about family lines. Where does his go?
COL. Jeffrey Olson (Skippy): Ah, another traitor. Well, at least this one was well known by the government a long time ago. Mr. Paul Revere here (as he called himself) used to do the “noble” job of stealing information from his current employer, twisting it, and then putting it out on the web as “news”. The government has been hunting him for his betrayal of the public’s trust for years, and now he has decided to return to his old job. Maybe this time he will take it seriously, though that isn’t great for us. You see, he used to monitor and change the information that made it to the public. He was supposed to simply be a media specialist, but he used his skill to twist and turn everything. Now while Doyle and the corrupt members of the old Denver Guard are twisting and destroying everything legally, Skippy here will be manipulating and hiding all of the true information to turn the government into “Sheeple” as his Stormrider counterpart would say. May we all brace for the impact that is media silence and cleansing. The rebels have been hacking and destroying our media for months (why else do you think the media was down for so long?!), and now they will be able to do it from the front by hitting the proverbial off button. Trying times are coming.
CPT Chelcie Surrey (Recoil): Oh good god what the hell is that gun? I’ve seen footage of a ronin hand cannon mach 7, but it didn’t blow out windows half way down the street! These guys are fucking crazy. How do you even manage to remain able to hear after firing that? I guess if you have both a dampener AND the adept ability maybe, but it seems fairly ridiculous. Physics shouldn’t even allow that to work! Its explosion should basically remove your hand and create a crater where you were standing! I will cover more about the brothers later, but this discussion is important! People need to run simply to retain their ability to exist from the shockwave of this gun! Reports indicate that it was shot on a car (not at, on the hood of) and it blew out all the windows AND the driver’s ears in the process! We lost video afterwards, but the fact is he wasn’t even aiming in the direction of the car he shot from! This is a menace to society on a new level. They cause destruction even just aiming the gun at the sky! The rebels are a bunch of bastards, but even they should understand why this shouldn’t be allowed to exist!
MAJ Creed Surrey (Recurve): They made him a major… Well, I guess the leader is a colonel so that works to some extent. We have already talked about the history of this little terror group, and we have also spoken about their guns. As horrifying as they are another detail needs to be reiterated. It was mentioned in his bio, but most of you here won’t see it since there is more data than you can handle on all of these rat bastards. This mother fucker shot two dragons and the hero Legion and the three nearly died! Now, this isn’t some “back in the day in a battle the two squared off”. A few hours prior to this posting he found the three, put 1 (repeat that, 1!!!!!!) bullet in each of them faster than they could blink, and all of them nearly died. We suspect regeneration, because they dropped to the ground and then immediately evacuated the location. This isn’t even their top dog and he nearly dropped two dragons with two bullets! Quick Draw and Deicide are legendary for killing dragons, but not 3 enemies on 1! I wouldn’t believe it, but our contacts confirmed why they are now in hiding. I’m not sure what type of hocus pocus mumbo jumbo is going on, but until we know more don’t even try to take this “Outlaws 5” group on. They are nothing but death.
CPT Frank Quinn (Piranha): Enter the Piranha – or should I say Ve? I like that better, for he makes me say oy vey. This arrogant bastard hasn’t changed since his days in the Hand, or was it Denver Guard. I get the two mixed up so often, especially with him being friends with so many of their operators. Makes you think about how many people were working for Alexander that we never even knew about. Well, this is one Mayor/Governor/Candidate/Asshole that we know quite a bit about. For starters he used to essentially RUN Denver. Not run for Denver, but run it. Thanks to his joining Ruination we know he used to work with Doyle and Luna closely. While we may have had them incorrectly pegged for the destruction of Denver (and that’s a big maybe), it looks like the true power player in its destruction by Alexander was this man. As the Overlord Governor he made sure that Alexander moved undetected below the streets of Denver. With his connections to the Tunnel Rats there would have been no location inaccessible to the demolitions experts at play. He sacrificed his own city to further his monetary gain. As he “works” for our country, just keep what he has done in mind.
<<<Well first of thats Governor Quinn to you child as my elected title is one of life and hence forth you should show me the due respect. Second I am in no way connected to Alexander and the Deaths Hand, in reality I worked with due diligence to bring the Hand Terrorists to justice within the confines of Denver. I would never do anything that would bring harm to my city or her people. So the total destruction of Denver was not on my hands nor had I any knowledge of its pending destruction, when I learned of it’s fate I ordered a city wide evacuation and alerted the citizens to use the tubes, busses, or one of the many airliners and not clog the highways, tunnels and bridges as the panic and traffic would clog the roadways and guarantee that many more lives would be lost needlessly.
I only wish I had learned of the detonation plot sooner as I could have deployed the National Guard and Denver Guard to thwart the attempt. The access points being used by the demolitions experts and assassins where old government tunnels that had been sealed off by the UCAS around 2020 when the walls of Denver where erected. Those tunnels where not accessible from within the city province and where not used by the Tunnel Rats. What point is rebelling for a better life if your end game is the total destruction of what your fighting for. The devastation of Denver is not on my hands and never was, the destruction of my beloved city is a stain on my record that I will have to live with forever and the cries and tears of those left behind will forever haunt me.
I am part of Ruination seeing I am close friends with Oakley and Archie as well I served in the Denver Guard and worked in the academy even when I was within the political system. I might have came to Denver late in the game, and joined up after the Storm Rider attack of 2033 but once I was welcomed into the city and by her people I would call Denver my home and be willing to lay down roots within her province. To throw shame and slander at me is unforgiving seeing that my political record and my career within the city is all within the public record…..though one has to know how to read first and foremost, obviously you failed the first grade and dropped out of Lower School.
I spent my career helping the people and fighting for a better life for all against the Usurpers, I still fight today for all to live free and have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. So if you wish to debate the facts please officially share some but otherwise please stick to the rumour boards or maybe the water cooler with the rest of your cubicle drones and leave the real reporting, political and military work to the professionals. We may value your opinion and value your right to speak freely and have the freedom of press, but in order to be considered a journalist you need to have a media licence number and until I see one from a accredited source and not forged I will consider you to be a board soda jerk and counter monkey.
If you want to bring forth change put yourself out there and run against me in February for the open seat of Governor for the state of Washington. I would be glad to debate the issues with you in an official setting though if you are like the rest of the sheep and wish to stay asleep and docile yet cry foul when things don’s go your way…….I have only a few words for you, “Get Out and Vote.” otherwise leave the hard work to the adults and keep sipping on your dribble cup child.
Governor Franklin Quincy Quinn (Denver, Colorado)
CPT Herschel Grant (Gallows): Yuck, another Herschel. Why are there so many of these in the runner world? They all mean bad news. Whether your flavor is religion or chess, it never means anything good. With this bastard you can bet that it won’t be any better, though admittedly he is a lot less dangerous than the two men who are in the 20 most deadly on the planet. Gallows is known for sending lots of criminals to the Gallows, though if you look at his cases many of them beg the question as to how legitimate they are. There seem to be a lot of witnesses that just happened to “confess” a little bit too easily. With regards to his policy on the force, well, his preferred weapon is a DAOD pistol. That should pretty much tell you everything you need to know. As a runner Gallows here classifies as an original. Though that mean little knowing that Big Brother classifies as a lost child. Truly all the rules have been thrown out when it comes to age seeing that there are new breeders like the Spartan who terrify originals like Oak and lost children that are listed as number four on the most dangerous list. Generation now seems to be meaningless in this time. Makes you wonder about some of the prominent “younger” members of the shadows.
CPT Wolf Surrey (Tomahawk): Tomahawk is a Surrey? Well that’s fucking terrifying. Especially given that Tommy is a Jamestown and both are related to the Outlaws 5… We will have to look into more connections there. When it comes to Wolfie here (I hear he loves that name) we know quite a bit. First off, he is a border crasher through and through. Second, he is a gunslinger adept and motorcycle rider that works to destabilize many countries through destruction of their security forces. Once upon a time he was a Sioux Wildcat, and now he has managed to go through the Texas Elite training. As a new member of the US Elite you can bet he will bring a new level of violence to their regimen. Getting back at the “white man” is what he loves. The Cowboys from Hell are just a means to an end for this man and once he has his revenge all the pawns he has used will be thrown to the wayside. His “friendships” with the members of the rebellion are just a way for him to be deep cover. Once his true colors show within this order there will be death and destruction. Just wait for it.
1LT Rev. Graham Puck (Eeyore): Hey Poo Bear, we found him! No Piglet, he hasn’t hung himself yet, but we are hoping he won’t wait too much longer. Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is the runner known as Eeyore. Mr. Puck is the father of Melody Grimm and Jackson Puck. If that doesn’t already have you shitting your pants then you haven’t been paying attention enough with recent events. To give you a rough idea, Jackson is deemed too violent for the President’s Men, and Eeyore is the one who raised him. Though worry not, both he and Melody are members of that order and can be considered masters as well. It seems pretty much every Kingsman that is worth their weight in salt (aka – the masters and grandmasters) is also a member of the President’s Men. He isn’t a member of the 41 or their allied forces, but you can be sure he is trained by them seeing that he is friends and family with many of their members. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was a member of the Brother’s Grimm given his daughter is married to them, but we won’t get too ahead of ourselves without true facts. Anyway, be warned about this bastard. He is Steel Legion and is therefore very much loyal to the crown (the one which Old Joe wears that is – the true leader of that country). Meet him in the streets and you will meet your maker at the same time. As I said, be warned – for anyone the Death Bringer is protecting is dangerous and holds many secrets.
<<< Well,what do we have here….someone that likes to throw shade and rumours around like they are facts. Well little boy I would check your facts a bit, cause I have been standing in defiance to the Inishmore and the Trinity of Evil for quite some time. I stood proud and strong within Manchester where I sadly was the only man to survive the axis forces and the chemical warfare. I am a Sentinel, not one of the 41 Strong as I retired years prior…..though I am a Knight of the Cross and my duty was and is to defend the people from the works and forces of Satan so thats just what I did in October 2018.
Now I am not a brutal man like my dear friend Conrad Howdy and will not threaten your life nor will I threaten your relatives lives as that is not the way of a true Christian but I can say this Reverend Graham Puck Most Senior Knight doesn’t make threats but he does make promises so if you wish not to meet Jesus personally I would stick to the facts and leave the opinions for the water cooler peasant. Also if anything happens to my family do to your ill informed reporting and hate mongering I will personally make sure you meet your maker and are laid to rest six feet under…..you have been warned as I don’t threaten as that is ungentlemanly and unchristian like behaviour; I make only promises and as a English gentleman, pastor and knight you best heed my warnings and pray to whomever watches over your soul as your ass will belong to me…..
Most Honourable Right Reverend Graham Puck Most Senior Knight Order of the Cross (Archbishop Retired)
Lt Col. Patrick Freeman (Five): Another of the Forgotten has arisen from the annals of history. This one, like many on that team, likes to keep his name based on a number. They have pretty much all of the number gang over there, and there are probably more that we don’t know of. Five himself is longstanding friends with the Gumshoe, and is also known for his involvement with the Unforgiven – especially at searchlight. According to our contacts those bastards are still quite alive and kicking. They were even the ones responsible for our greatest defender’s demise. Poor General O’Brien killed by the very men who he served with and risked his life to protect. Well, such is the way of the rebels – now military – to bite the hands that help shield and shelter them. Be warned, if you hear the name Forescythe I suggest you run. Even their youngest whelp is a monster. Five himself, well, if he can keep up with those monsters then he is a force to be reckoned with to begin with. He and the entirety of his team have been operating in the shadows for decades and using the Mariners and Wolf Pack as media guards. Never thought there would be a group that could force those two teams to work for them, but that just shows how dangerous they are. If you see him coming, my only advice is to run!
COL. Sylvester Sinister PhD (Agent Orange): The aptly named Agent Orange. Yeah, cause names come from favorite food yes, but its oh SO convenient in this case. I bet you believe that Sylvester Sinister is his real name. Cause that doesn’t sound completely doctored. Hey agent orange, Marvel called and they want their villain name from the early 90’s back for a reboot! Who knows, if you aren’t careful you might crash their whole system if they don’t churn out a blockbuster every few months. I’d hate to see the ramifications to our world if that happened – Disney is ever so important after all to the worldwide economy. So, the biological expert here who “just plays with dead bodies” just happened to be named after the gas that has killed thousands. What is this? He has a doctorate in chemical engineering. Yes, I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. Cause we all believe in those, right?! Well, another Englishman full of shit, another Harbinger. That team seems to be swapping sides of the pond. Must be the influence of Crab to bring on members of the Kingsman like Driftwood, Mitch, Dictator, and Punisher. Seems like the upper echelon of that order is truly taking an interest. Wouldn’t surprise me if more of that team were part of the order. Afterall, the President’s Men started it with Bueller. For all we know the entire roster is part of the Trinity. Anyway, if you hear the phrase “Suffering Succotash” I suggest you run, for you never know what agent will be coming after you.
MAJ Lewis Grey (Acme): Meep Meep… Sorry, had to get that out of my system. There is a great rant regarding this guy on the top 10 funniest runner names list. Still not sure why he says he is in the Dagobah system, cause that doesn’t exist. They say a long time ago and far away, but we are pretty sure he got shot, burned, and blown up at Fort Lewis. Well, anyway, Acme himself is a well known dealer within the underworld. No surprise he worked for the Hand and facilitated them getting all of the equipment they needed to take over a large portion of two continents. There aren’t many that can claim to have the type of reach he does, and the only one I know of is also in this order. Between this piece of crap and the orange guy (Tang – not Agent Orange) there will not be a piece of equipment, license, or vehicle that this group cannot get their hands on if they have the money. With Tang and Acme in place you can be sure that they will have all the money they need, not just the government financing. Well, maybe this guy will link to Waldo like he once did and bring back some Jedi to slaughter this bastard seeing as not much else could hurt any of these immortal shitbags.
MAJ Kevin O’Malley PhD (Serum): Serum, you mean the thing that makes people immortal? Or maybe you mean the stuff that is used to inoculate the masses from a specific disease. Maybe even an elixir to cure a serious problem such as agent orange syndrome (though I think that is best cured by killing Agent Orange directly). Serum himself is a known member of the London Dungeon. He has been spying on the enemies of England for decades now. He is good enough at finding people and items that his mere presence alone has our contacts worried. Serum himself is no big deal in person and if caught alone can be taken down without much difficulty. While the normal field agent of Steel Legion like him isn’t weak, he isn’t a major problem or presence that a member of their Kingsman division would pose. A few sniper rounds should more than do the trick to remove this target. Hopefully he can be taken down before his true skill as an investigator can be used to remove the only bastions of freedom and liberty left or the few heroes that we do have. For if this axis of death is allowed to exist for two long they will kill the people fighting to keep the public informed and safe like our hero Legion and then there will be no safety or release from the stranglehold of the rebels.
GEN. Martin Hakett (War Machine): In comes the War Machine, all hail the law rocket. This bastard worked with his close friend for decades and then, when the going got tough he killed him in cold blood with another of his close friends. Now, I’m not saying Alexander didn’t need to die. In fact, he needed to die a long time ago! The fact remains that his entire organization turned on him at the most critical of moments. War Machine, as much as I appreciate you killing Alexander with Dictator, you should be ashamed of yourself. You took an oath to an order, corrupted it from the inside, and then murdered its leader in cold blood. Any respect any of your other orders had for you should be lost. Who will you kill next? Rags? Director? Conductor? Actually, all of those sound great. Never mind, all hail War Machine! We sing your praises, so please give us some déjà vu and kill the rest of them! After all, outside of battle your life has no meaning. You know only war and death, so keep going with that! Life is just one law rocket to you, and law rockets are cheap in comparison to the ammo that some people use.
CPT Brian Kindler-Gunner (Jackal): Well hell, talk about another bombshell to join this group. We just found out about Mayor, and now his brother shows up? Now this order has almost every member of the top 20 deadliest people on the planet (or top 30 at the rate its going). Well why not, you might as well have at least one brother in the game. Everybody else does! Though it makes you wonder which one is older since that is probably the more dangerous one. Well, I would bet my money on the guy that makes the real Jackal give up his handle. As far as rat bastards go this man is pretty bad (though nowhere near his brother). He is a reverse forensics expert and taught many of the legends the craft. Brian has slinked across the shadows protecting his shitbag nephews for decades. He goes to a crime scene, pins it on some patsies, and then the true culprits get away. Awfully convenient that all the cops in multiple states never figured out what was going on. I suspect there was much more going on. For starters we don’t even know who this guy’s partner is, and every cop has a partner. To pull something off on this scale he must have had many. Be warned, another “safe and ethical” individual has been brought into the elite.
CPT Chandler Holt (Buddy): Well now, I thought this guy was basically dead? Weren’t he and his two buddies were literally shot out of the sky! One body was found, guess it wasn’t his. What can I say about Buddy? Well for one, his is a real piece of garbage. A member of the Texas Elite and proud of it? Yes, proud of being a racist piece of crap. He claims to have a reason, but in truth he just wants his land back. Now they even have it, and he still won’t give up the goat. Well, there is one benefit to this guy being a member of this shit show. Wherever he goes there is a huge cloud of smoke following. This has a few benefits. First and foremost, it is nearly impossible to take an accurate shot near him. He reduces the visibility for both himself and his allies, which makes invading easier. Second, and more usefully, he hangs around the big wigs of this order. That means that if we time it right, the generals and upper echelon on the Elite will be high as a kite and unable to make good defensive calls. This will require timing, but I’m sure our hero can make it happen. We need only wait.
CPT Doc Davis (Moonshine): God, another one of these Texas First/Elite assholes. All they do is go around to the rebel agencies, join, and then make sure to cause havoc. Although at least this one is no more than a limp dog just like his friend above him. Injured in a plane crash – guess these smugglers aren’t very good at flying. Probably was due to indulging in their own stuff. That’s right folks, just as Buddy has his weed Moonshine has his moonshine. A bit of this and a bit of that can get quite dangerous when you have to fly straight. Though I hear mountains hurt, I suspect for these guys it was a problem more like tripping over the yellow line when you get out of a bar. Totally avoidable. Well, its too bad only one of these three bastards were taken out, maybe next time we will get 2 out of 3. Not sure who they have recruited to take up residence on their plane in place of Buzz, but whoever it is must be less of a problem. Well, here to you Moonshine, may your next batch be contaminated and deadly!
COL Houston Dumont (Rattlesnake): Who the hell let this guy into the order? Oh right, the number 1 wanted man in the world. Does anyone find it funny that the guy who is wanted the most in the world has successfully recruited almost all of the most deadly people on the planet? For instance, this shitbag here is tied for number 2 of the 20 most deadly people on this planet. Though truthfully the order has both of those for number 1 and the other number 2, so don’t be too impressed. Rattlesnake is nothing more than your standard Texan racist piece of trash. Worse – he is a Harbinger. Just another recruit from the boss. Notice the cross over? Well, we did if you didn’t! You know what that means? This guy is also a member of the Railroad’s assassin order. Makes sense, for if you need the assassination to be untraceable why not send in Mayor and Rattlesnake to give it the ol’ Surrey Gang treatment. Nobody will ever know who the target is if the whole place goes missing. Almost makes you wonder how many people were removed by the Railroad while Dictator was in power in the Hand. Well, anyway, nothing unique on this one, just another helping prove that what’s in Texas should stay in Texas.
Lt Col Ilesh Gunner (Apache): Another President’s Man, another day. Oh look, a Jamestown too. No surprise, look at the lineage here. When you see one of those goddamned pistols you know something is going to get blown to hell. In this case it’s the conscience of anyone or anything he interacts with. You see, Apache here is the secret weapon of the Outlaw’s Five, as well as the rest of the rebellion. He has the mindset of his father, but everyone sees nothing more than an Indian who has been oppressed. They try to help or understand him, and while they are trying to be kind he murders man, woman, and child in their sleep. Apache is a Gunner through and through. No morals, no conscience, no care, and most commonly no sanity. Unlike his brothers he doesn’t have a catch phrase, so remember that when dealing with Apache you never know who he feels like. You could be dealing with any of the siblings, and I bet his skills match just as much as his gun. Be warned, unlike most, this is one Indian that needs to be removed. The NAN needs to avenged, and we all know the first to be killed is the turncoat (then the snipers).
CPT Charles Butler (Captain): Well now, what do we have? Oh captain my captain. My how this man makes me nervous as hell. For those who don’t know (and I’m not sure how) Captain is not only a world class runner, but as well an information dealer. He is one of the rare individuals who can get his intel both inside of a boardroom and on the battlefield. No operation is beyond the Captain’s skill nor is it against his code of ethics. He was recently seen in Hawaii (one of the many locations he has a home) helping to cover up a brutal murder of an innocent Japanese woman. I will spare you the gruesome details, but just know that one of the first operations for this US Elite soldier was to bury a gory homicide (barbecued flesh truly is disgusting) and report back to enable the Crystal Dragons (whose boss is above on this list) to hide what they truly due to those they deem enemies. Horrifying work, but I suppose its nothing for this former Death’s Hand enforcer. All these people claim to be “reformed”, and yet they continue to do operations that make those of us good folk squeamish. Shame on the President for allowing this order to behave like that. Sadly the next one won’t be any better.
COL. Sherman Finesilver (Striker): Striker huh, well what can be said about this hack and fraud? Medical examiner my ass, this guy is one of the top brass within the Stormriders. He even has a tactical computer beyond the Void model. For those who don’t know, the Void computer was, until now, the most advanced computer known to man. In addition to his ridiculous computer, his guns are top notch. The designs that the Stormriders use are second to none and are known to be roughly equal to both the Gunners and the Jamestowns. People at the top of the chain are able to get access to combinations of the three, and that is what this man has. He parades around as a doctor carrying guns that make DAOD Ronin run like little bitches. Apparently he isn’t much behind Colonial in terms of being dangerous. Add in that he probably works for the Jamestowns (cause everybody does!) and you have a downright dangerous piece of trash here. I guess it makes sense why he likes meat puzzles in the morgue, he is probably looking for how to make his own handiwork more interesting by looking at what others turn in. Stay away from this doc, he is more bite than bark.
Secretary Woodrow McDaniels (Mr. Black): Alright, what the fuck is this shit? This is legitimately illegal. You cannot be the Secretary of Defense and be active military. Since he was Secretary before this order existed (far too long before I will add) he cannot have been a member and then retired. Bad enough Quinn, Palpatine, Malone, and Yates are all pulling that little bullshit trick. All of the sudden a bunch of the high-ish brass and members/friends of the Harbingers are a part of a military order for a whole 3 weeks and immediately after they magically win/secure elections? Now that smells like something Mr. Black was a part of. Given that all but the short one are known/assumed President’s Men you can be sure that Mr. Black had more than a slight hand in that move. Now he has simply been foolish enough to show his hand. Then again, I shouldn’t be complaining about legality when we are literally talking about the concierge of crime himself. Though nobody is foolish enough to think he is in charge of the Post Office anymore. That charade ended when the President’s Men revealed themselves. Now we know that its true leader is Mitch the Bitch, and oh look – he’s right in this lineup! And is that his great grandson? Well, I suppose everything is inline now. All that’s left is to figure out who the target is for Woodrow here before he gets himself locked in the brig and then lets himself out.
Lt Col. Geoffrey Oliver (Binary): 0 or 1? Who knows, though rumor has it unlike standing for true and false it stands for blown up or not. Binary himself is known as the runner up – in my opinion that’s where his name comes from since his life is about second place. Second place to his brother in everything he does. Second in command, second in kills, second in getting recognition. The only time he wasn’t second was in the 41 strong, but there he is dead last (if you don’t believe me, look at the page)! While he may be a dangerous man, it is important that you know he is not the most dangerous. He doesn’t even rank high enough for mention on the top 20 page and hasn’t made any of the top 10 lists. Turns out that he is just a wannabee overshadowed by his brother. He isn’t even the first called to take care of bounties, turns out that’s Rattlesnake. This guys is just a sorry excuse for a warrior who hides behind his credentials. Pay him no attention, for if he ever had a chance at catching up the chemicals that run through his blood will prevent him from doing more.
COL Gordon Meisner (Frostbite): A cold and calculating one, yup that sounds like Frostbite. These guys are always fun cause they are upfront and brash when they arrive. They calculate and freeze their opponents, but should the smallest part of their plan fail they crack like the thin sheet of ice they are and their egos take over. Hell, this one was so pissed at losing a game to his brother in law that he stabbed his nephew in the stomach with a lightsaber! Talk about pathetic. Our contacts have told us that even the Rabbi has made these mistakes, and made rash responses at foolish times. Sadly, as we now know, their entire family is hiding together. At this rate they have all effectively joined the Elite since they refuse to leave the base. They are too scared of those who are above them in power. Ironic how they spend their entire lives threatening the people and keeping them afraid, only to be beaten by the same type of fear they rely upon. Watch out if you are on base, I hear he gives one hell of a poor pity me dance. Not to mention if he stabs his nephew, think of what he will do to those he does not care for.
MAJ Father Herschel Horror (Monitor): Ah, another good father. Wait, scratch that. This guy is no better than the other two assclowns Padre and Rags. Monitor has been hunting the shadows and stealing the souls of his victims for generations. Don’t think for a second that this priest (if you want to call him that) has you mortal soul in mind for anything other than a snack. He and his ilk are so callous that they have been heard on more than one occasion saying the souls taste like cherry cola. I kid you not, they take life so much for granted that they have assigned a flavor to its destruction! Plus, you know that they are all necromancers of some sort since Governor Pilgrim was the first to say it, and they all seem to agree! Shows you how screwed up this order truly is. They have not 1, but 3 corrupt priests and if the can’t save your soul for Jesus, they save it for their stomachs. All I can say is run!
CPT Anthony DiCane (Biscuit): What do we have here? Well, I suppose three strikes and the jig is up! No mulligan for you (though if Banker finds you then there will be justice). All three leaders of the Harbingers are on this fucking thing? At least TRY to hide the bullshit. We all know this order is nothing more than a cover up for legitimizing runners and criminals, but to pull in the connection to the South and Boston on top of Colonial is too much. This mint snorting puppy has been pissing on our streets and taking a shit on our lawns for long enough. Bad Dog! He put the runner protection laws into place when he was fetching his bosses newspaper and slipped it into the Sunday times. Now we are stuck with him here continuing to fetch the slippers for his masters. He has been taught by The Handler which means he is a Jamestown either by blood or extension. Give it a few more weeks and we will see the new President riding on his back as a means for transportation when his meds run out. If not him, then he will be escorting The Sentinels (an order he has joined thanks to our sources), or at least guarding the door while the grown ups meet. This is why dragons need to be snuffed out. His temper is like his grandfathers, and he needs to be removed before he uses his connection to Conductor and Bilbo to spread his vile filth through the known world.
1LT. Flynn Sykes (Mustang): Here stands the long arm of the law. Not the strong arm, but the weak and gangly arm. The one that ignored his instincts when it came to his former boss Kindler, and who will continue to ignore what is right. He will ignore the pleas of the innocent. He will simply ignore the wrongdoings of his superiors. He is not a good cop, he isn’t even a bad cop. He just does nothing. He will watch as both sides fight and even though he knows which is right he will not aid the UCAS. Nothing will end with this man in the order, but he will not hurt us either. If you need to find him, simply look at the nearest donut shop. After all, the only proactive thing this slime bucket does is patronize the local eateries and stuffer shacks. Rumor has it he has been placed on permanent cigar running duty. They hope to get him to earn part of his salary if he picks up the tobacco that the real cops need in order to function. Have you ever seen the captains of PP1 without tobacco? They are even grumpier and evil than usual. I guess I can thank you for getting them their fix. Otherwise Stamps and Ringmaster would be even worse.
Gen. T.J Harris (Morbias): General Morbias, the man who will do anything necessary. Well, I would like to say he is an important member of the command structure and part of the upper echelon. That said, it is sadly evident that he does not matter in this order. Think about it, if he mattered why would he be all the way at the bottom. He was in the first group of individuals to be listed on this page. Only instead of remaining at the top like the other generals. Hell, he is below many captains and Lt’s on this list, so its likely he is nothing more than a figure head. Likely put here to hold the spot for his boss Willhuff. Now that we know all about the dildo he can be placed on the bottom as he will be unneeded. Now he will collect a paycheck and benefits from the UCAS people and be able to strictly pay attention to his operations in the Post Office. He can pretend to follow Mr. Black and truly work for the other 3. Hell, for all I know he is a member of the dungeon, the sentinels, the presidents men, the kingsman, the khans, the crystal dragons, and every other major order out there. It seems all the rebels are in bed with each other. The only truly exclusive one is the Horsemen, and nobody has been added to that since Slicer and Silencer in what can be presumed to be 100 years or more. Fuck you Horsemen!
CSM George Rutherford (Spade): Wow. This one is a legit surprise. I know the rebels are a bunch of scum sucking bitches that cry foul when killed. Some sources say they even have to yell up their asses to get to their heads. But this one, I can’t believe they were so stupid. Spade is the founding father that castrates his enemies instead of killing them. They have brought in the man that ends families before they can be born. The one who is despised even by the other founders. Why would a righteous order formed for the people want him? Simple – they aren’t a righteous order. Spade is literal proof. Don’t get me wrong, there are worse people here when it comes to kill counts and what they do for a living, but this man is beyond despicable. Though truly we can hope that he does his thing within the order. After all, if you want to stop all these families from playing the genetics game, simply remove the vehicle to develop genetics. We recommend starting with the younger members here to stop them from having more children. Yes Spade, start with Max, TJ, and Andrew. Happy hunting!
CPT Cyrus Macbeth (Virus): Oh Great, another Cowboy from Hell. Don’t we have almost their entire squad now? Fuck man, they claim to secure the borders and yet we hire border crashers? Hold on, it gets fucking worse. The border crashers work with the 1st son, so not only will they destroy our borders, but they will throw a party and destroy the white house too! Whoever thought it was a good idea to let the Surrey Gang take over the country (I mean Jamestowns – oops I did it again haha) was a moron. I’m just grateful for Devil and Solomon or else we would have had the wool pulled over our eyes forever. Yes everyone, just remember that despite what many say it was Dunklezahn who helped us the first time, and it is dragons helping us now. Without them risking their necks to give us this intel at great personal risk (yes – dragons can be killed too) we would never know just how badly we have been hoodwinked. Hell, that word isn’t strong enough – the rebel dicks are so far up our asses as we get fucked that they are giving us an eye exam! This bullshit needs to stop and the only way is for us to expose these ass clowns for who they truly are.
Lt Col Arthur Murdock (Eraser): Ah, another President’s Man another day. What, too soon? I don’t think so, after all they are all over this grouping. Truthfully, and yes I know that is a rarity, every single order that exists on this planet save maybe 1 that the rebels interact with are here. Hell, even the elusive Order of the Pale Moon is represented, and they don’t come out of Stonehenge for any reason. This Rough Rider is known for being able to take on any target. He was trained to be the guard to the royals. You know what that means, he is a Kingsman too! FUCKING KINGSMAN! Well, it seems like every President’s Men member is one of those too. You should assume they all carry those blades with their lightsabers. You know, cause when you have a fucking laser sword why wouldn’t you need a powerful focus? Better yet, more contacts. Then we wonder why they have all cross trained. And don’t worry about equality for our “brothers” across the pond. You can assume all the Kingsmen are also members of the Presidents. After all, our president is now a King! Talk about frustrating, someone needs to take these people out.
SGT Reggie Fields (Laser): Welcome to the new US? I think not – welcome to the old shithole. The one with nothing but racism and disdain for our fellow man. Who is this guy? Simple – a traitor. One who defected from the UCAS military and our hero General James O’Brien (rest your soul). He originally fought for the cause, but then sold his soul to one of the true devils – the Horsemen. Now he is just a sycophant of Sixx’s and will be used like the tool that he is. The sad part is that lasers are so infrequent that the soldiers know when Laser is the one butchering his once brothers. There is no way to cover it up since those weapons are so uncommon. Its jut another example of how Sixx has been an influence on the kid. Next thing we know Laser will have been from Detroit running the same conn as Bolt. It would seem that even O’Brien had some blind spots and these assholes found a big one. If you are on the street and see some scorch marks, run like hell. For while this piece of trash is a traitor and proof of why rebels need to be killed, he is also extremely lethal with that rifle. Worse, unlike bullets, lasers are nearly instantaneous and therefore rarely miss. Not much interferes with light and the wind does nothing to his shots.
CPT. Statler Cannon MD (Chemist): Oh good god, they let this maniac in! Even the rebels know better than to let the rejects into anything official. Statler here loves nothing more than to sow chaos and destruction throughout Seattle. We know that he is a Kingsman, and at least a master at that. This crazy bastard has infiltrated numerous continents to torture and threaten the public. If he is willing to blow up his own son to “teach him a lesson”, then imagine what he will do to you. Its known that the Cannons are friends with the Yates, and so just remember he is just an analog to the Professor – just a brother from another mother. These rebels are all thick as thieves and none can be trusted. This man in particular is in possession of a virus that could turn the entire planet into that old show The Walking Dead and end existence, as we know it. He may not be strong enough to be on the “Deadliest” list, but in my opinion a guy who can simply press a button and end the planet deserves the number 1 spot. Consider this my vote, as well as a warning to run away!
COL. Howard Douglas (Hacksaw): Alright, alright, alright. I may have used the word maniac a bit too soon above. This man deserves that title the most on this page! Though then again, maybe he is just another con. Look at the facts people. Mitch the Bitch was nothing other than an undercover agent for the rebellion, Hacksaw obviously was as well! He looked like he was fighting, just like our former director! It is probably only a matter of time before Salazar splits on his true boss and joins up on the elite here. He is probably just playing the same fucking game, but didn’t get made yet. Not a surprise Hacksaw got discovered before his boss seeing as he is too busy playing wack a mole to watch his own 6. Even his second in charge got discovered – and I didn’t think there was anything to discover about either of these two. To think that the entire upper echelon of Free Bird is nothing more than rebels. Figures, since Free Bird is working to restore our freedom from the rebellion, they must have one massive power player at the top who is truly working to help us. I just hope he realizes Salazar is not truly of the Bird before it’s too late.
Gen. Albert Schwartz (Sixx): Here lays the mastermind behind a major bastion’s demise. Yes people, traitor and bastard Albert Schwartz – better known as Six – was a major player behind losing General James O’Brien. He helped take out our protector of the peace. Though I will share with you where his name truly comes from. Most people think its his laser pistol. Well, that’s just a cover. First off, in case you didn’t know, nobody runs a gun with only 6 shots except for the Surrey Gang. If you think his Jamestown Classic only has 6 shots then you are a fucking moron. That’s right people – that isn’t where it comes from. It comes from his sin. Specifically, the sixth sin; that of envy. This piece of shit wanted what his once friend had and was extremely envious. In fact his entire career is based off of it. He wanted Detroit and so he sowed the seeds of rebellion. He painted it as “for freedom”, but in truth he envied those in control. When he finally had it in hand his envy took over once more and he wanted a bigger piece of the pie. Through marriage he picked up the power of the Horsemen, and decided to try and grab at O’Brien’s chunk. When our hero figured it out Sixx’s plot of using bugs in Detroit along with the others above, he removed the threat to us all. Sixx says he went on a rampage as revenge? Well, that is true. Except it is for revenge for O’Brien taking his property – the bug infested people of Detroit. Don’t think its because his family was killed. They obviously live – they are right below him. They are next.
COL Kentucky Schwartz (Danger): If you thought that Sixx was alone in the sins, you will find that Pride here – or better known as Danger – is right up there with him. You see, this man isn’t a problem solver; at least not exclusively. This bastard shows his arrogance and pride through never being satisfied with another being better than him. He needed equipment and saw that Tang could supply better – well that wouldn’t do. He worked to make sure he was equal or better, in his mind the best. Problem solvers make things go away well? He can’t have that. He climbed the ranks through deceit and treachery, a family skill, and became one of the best. But since that couldn’t do, he leveraged equipment over the others and made them work for him. His Pride required him to be the top. You might say that is impressive, but we in the Demure know that this is a weakness. He will one day show his pride and expose himself. Those who are paying attention should watch for it. That will be the time to strike. O’Brien did us a favor by taking out the bugs and a few of these bastards with them. Don’t waste this opportunity!
Gov. Dwight Schwartz (Giggles): So now we come the third of seven – though we believe that four of this clan were wiped out. This bastard is that of wrath. He allows of those “Yale” brothers to have the handle, but this is nothing more than a loan just like Cortex to Greenspan. Giggles as he prefers, in order to appear to be less of a threat no doubt, is the true embodiment of wrath. Everything he has done has been to destroy those who have bothered his father. You see, Sixx has his son’s ear and with no more than a single spoken word he can raise Dwight’s anger to extreme levels. This is best seen every time Sixx has a setback. His father has to eat Crow from O’Brien and his son forces the rebels to decimate a for in secret. O’Brien catches the full deception, and in retaliation he mobilizes an entire state. The anger in his speeches is always palpable. Even when he is “happy” you can see the hate and fire in his eyes. Do not be fooled by this “Governor”, for we know many of them are nothing more than snakes in the grass. Well, this one is truly an angry rattler that wants nothing more than to bite without reason.
COL. Cromwell Spencer (Monsoon): Ah yes, another pawn of Danger’s pride. Cromwell here has a bit too much fun solving problems for his masters. The world knows him as the “gentleman” of the solvers, but in truth he is no more kind than any other. He is one of those archaic social adepts. You know – the people who were too weak and frail to learn to use their magic with their bodies. So, in order to survive, they learned to use their magic in their words. Well – my words are to take your shot at him since he is physically weak and frail. This member of the Kingsman is with them in mostly name and simply lists as a squire who was never capable of making knight or master. Otherwise he would be on their true list within the wiki. Afterall, we never miss anything regardless of how hard you rebels and terrorists try to hide it. Despite all your “problem solving” you still cannot find us. We are everywhere. We are the many. More importantly, we have your number. We will find you all, report on you all, and save this country from your bullshit. This is the True Demure.
SSG. Richard Prescott (Rubix): Ah yes, another of the poor, pitiable soldiers from the Irish Sea. Well, less sea in this case and more cliffs. This broken down trash bag is from the “Ghouls of the Shire” – though don’t mistake this for a term of endearment or badge of honor. These people (well, 2 that made it out – we really needed smart links earlier) “defended” an area from an “invasion”. I’m sorry, but I have heard enough of this bullshit. While the Inishmore were originally invading when you declare your surrender it is no longer needed to defend. If they had not tried to take back what they had already given away not only would we not need to shun these once noble veterans, but they would all be alive! All any of these asshats from the conflict of 2018 had to do was their fucking job in giving up what their country promised to cede and they would all be alive! The fact that they refused to follow orders is their own fault, and their own officers should have court marshaled them and solved this issue. The fact of the matter is that these people committed treason and caused the death of many both within the military and the citizens. They should be hung, end of story.
MAJ. Andy Swan MD (Bones): I have to say, the wrong song was given to this guy. Obviously that Peaches song should have gone to this guy. After all, I hear this guy has a real erection for that tune. He may just ride that cadet like a Clydesdale until the song swaps, or at least like a $2 whore until his peach is red instead of, well, peach. On a more direct note, though for those who say the Demure lack humor and understanding are obviously wrong. We understand all of what is going on – you can’t get one past us. This guy, well he is an open book. First things first, the entire medical division needs an overhaul. None of them should be there. All of their licenses are currently in the process of being revoked (you should be receiving your certified letters now). No doctor who willingly uses a burning stick instead of uniform thread should be allowed to practice medicine within or outside of (especially outside of) a military facility. How many people died because instead of choosing to spend time on one patient you tried to save many. As doctors it is your job to make those choices and to keep yourself emotionally distanced so you can make that call efficiently. Shame on you bones for all those who you killed.
<<< Listen here dirt bag, my medical licence is not in jeopardy and neither is any of the doctors within the US Elite Medical Division. Spreading rumours is all you Demure like to do and I have had enough of your lies and propaganda, you lack the understanding of history and facts. I used the stick simply do to being out of fucking supplies, I had to make the decision to use the archaic medical tool that in fact saved many lives. I am lucky to be alive and we all gave our all out there in the Irish Sea, London, Welsh Coast and the Scottish Mores so enough is enough. No One Fucking Surrendered!!!! That is just speculation and he bitching of the Inishmore who LOST!!!!! They cheated, they used chemical warfare to beat us and well it didn’t work, they attacked the the medical line and yet we lived!!! We kicked their ass straight back to Ireland, you want historical facts look the shit up and stop believing what you here in a digital cafe from a crying daisy eater that was lied to by the Tir.
We were successful in our mission, we held our line and we kicked the ever living shit out of them, we sent them crawling back to Ireland with their tail between their fucking legs. You want to talk smack about me and my men come at me mother fucker, you want to spread lies well censor is coming your way, you want to spread the truth well first learn it than report it. Also where is your fucking journalist licence and I long for the day you Demure are found and silenced for good. I am still alive and I am still here to fight for freedom as you know where to find me ass fuck! You want me come at me mother fucker, though remember I am still alive and kicking, I am one of the Walking Dead and 21 Strong so you better be prepared to receive a hurting you fuck…..BONES OUT>>>
SGT Noah Leon (Abstract): Ah wonderful, another problem solver. Just what a legitimate branch of the UCAS government needs, right? We really should talk about this to what I’m sure is the dismay of Gremlin and Mitch the wooden bitch. They are in charge of this shit show right? After all, we know the great spy has his hands everywhere and Gremlin is the first on the list. Anyway, has anyone noticed that the best of the problem solvers on this planet are initial members of this order? Its not like they are just hanging around, they have ranks as officers! Now – why does an order like this need so many problem solvers? Well, probably because they are just one big shadowrunner operation. All they do is dish out the jobs and have access to every known team, group, order, and elite unit on the planet. You shouldn’t look at these guys as a military. You should look at them for what they are. Nothing more than a modern day “legal” mercenary guild. We have simply funded another set of mercenaries and given them bases all over the planet. They are so far gone from what they should be that they have bases outside of the US including England! Given the Governor of the Caribbean being a Harbinger I’m sure they will have one in the islands eventually. Watch out, this order is nothing more than a bigger, better, sanctioned version of the hand. They have used similar tactics of hiding in the shadow of the legitimate military, they have all of the old hand operative that were important, and they have already begun spreading all over the planet. Mark my words, problem solvers are only needed when you want to hide problems and that is the mark of the new hand. They will create the same problems (maybe even worse), but they will just hide them better.
Lt.Col. Lesley Bunker (Cynic):
The Cynic was brought to justice during the attempted retaking of the UCAS. Let this be a reminder, anyone can die. You all need simply wait for your time.
Bunker, ah yes, the place he should have stayed. The enemy prepared such a wonderful and quick death for you, yet you left the bunkers and instead of the bombs you decided to suffer the other types of attacks. For those who haven’t paid attention Bunker is one of the 41 strong. Well, in my opinion one of the 41 babies who screwed an entire nation out of their agreement and then bitch that they were unfairly treated. Only a truly worthless soldier would disobey orders and then feel unjustly treated afterward. These paratroopers were so inept that when the big battle came they lined up like little toy soldiers to fall instead of leaning into their specialty. If they had used any of their true training they might have stood a chance. Now, all they can do is think upon their failure. They enjoy their old war wounds and tell others the woes of their tale. Rest assured these old men have the standard issue rocking chair in their offices along with their pipes and extra long beards to put on. If you catch them at the right time you can even get them to tell you a bedtime story and warm up some milk like an aging grandfather. After all, that’s all they are now – old men that are being coddled by the system due to their status as veterans.
COL. Arthur Grimes (Speedy): Another Ghoul another day. Hey Speedy, why were you in the gas so long? Probably because your names isn’t a self-commenting identifier. For those who don’t know, it isn’t grit that lets you survive through a war. It’s hiding behind a large gun and pelting the enemy from far away. The commanders of these divisions were too afraid to lead from the front, so they stayed behind their safe metal boxes and worked from afar. For all the bullshit of the rebels claiming to lead from the front and center I don’t see a damn one of them on a true battlefield. They will take a shadow op as long as it doesn’t take longer than their meds can handle, but a true long-term engagement is impossible. They can’t even stand at the battle map for too long without being in too much pain to think. These undead of the past are probably only here in body because the Harbinger Plymouth is keeping their bodies running. They are supposed to lead the new military? Ha! The only thing people like this can lead us to is the buffet and the medical center. The only real reason they have been let in is to be able to collect VA benefits that they lost when they became traitors. After all, shadows ops for the incompetent don’t make enough to afford their pills.
<<<I am sorry are you talking to me punk, seriously are you running your mouth again spewing rumours and hate speech. In my day the commander was stationed at a central command tent to oversee the entire battlefield, we would command from the front lines and from behind the line. When the shit got real the commander would gladly pick up his weapon and join in the fray and die with his men. During the Battle of the Shires in 2018 shit got real fast and I was out there with my men through the chlorine and hellfire.
I am trained in field medicine and I had to pull triple duty; commander, soldier and medic, I was injured and still continued to lead my troops and try to save all our skins out there. When I went to rescue one of my men who had fallen off the ridge do to well placed mortar strike I found myself trapped and gunned down. I did the best I could to save him and lead, but with communications cut off and chemical warfare being deployed there was nothing I could do but pray for rescue or death.
Now please stop calling us traitors we did our duty and served our country and helped defend our allies from an illegal invasion. We held the line and gave our all when the world needed us the most, some paid all and all paid some we are the Ghouls of the Shire and we lived to tell our story and keep the memory alive. Also how the bloody hell can one surrender when communications are cut off, we had no radio communications at all, also America Never Surrenders!…..Speedy Out>>>>
BG Marvin Jackson (Bonkers): Ah, the crazy one. Well, I guess with this roster of nutcases he is right at home. Though from reports he has spent a little too much time with his tactical computer seeing that he sees this whole place as nothing more than one big map. He looks at people as sprites in one big projection. For him the war is nothing more than one big BTL chip for him to play with. A little death over here, a little destruction over there. He is happiest when there is a boom in his ears to listen to. He has made his life and fortune killing the “yankees and injuns” as he puts it. The more he kills the happier his old boss the Keg was. I suspect that the same will be the case with Rivers, though reports have said that Conductor hates the elves more than everything else combined. Just another racist – and talk about strange for a guy who inherited a legacy from a meta. Bonkers here? He doesn’t seem to like the elves any more than the other two groups I mentioned. I suspect that they are both secret members of the HRM, but that has yet to be proven. We in the Demure will keep you up to date as we get more information.
Lt Col Franklin Walker (Bogeyman): Why in the hell would they let this guy into the Elite?! I have seen some ridiculous appointments, but this guy is known for indiscriminately killing anything and everyone who is not from the south! For fuck’s sake, he even takes out his hatred on wild game and rodents! One report had details that he found a bunch of elk and killed them simply to stop the waste landers from being able to harvest and eat them! He has been known to hunt and kill civilians simply because they were northern sympathizers. They were full citizens of the CAS that had done nothing other than not voice their hatred at a hanging and they were removed! This thing, I refuse to accept him as a human, hunts any and all that it deems unworthy and the conditions for being worthy are virtually unattainable. Worse, unknown to most, is that he is also a problem solver. He makes issues go away: poof. He removes the issue and when someone screws up he is happy to take the paycheck and make sure the issue is resolved. Stay off this man’s list, for with his involvement here you can be sure that he has a large number of new problem sources.
Lt Col Ted Baker (Pyre): Boom! Well, that’s pretty much all you need to know about Pyre. Lots of booms. This redneck shithead was in the battle with the original Texas Elite against the natives and has never given up any of his hatred. This is one of the rebels that were responsible for bombing Denver. Funny that he now works with the kings of that city. Maybe there are some actions that you have to pay for. With any luck Oakley and Luna will take a shot at him and we will be down one more corrupt piece of trash. In addition to his hatred of all that are not white humans he has been known to be one of Davis’ direct hands whenever a loud message needed to be sent. I find it hysterical that Rivers doesn’t see the obvious writing on the walls. The operatives of the CAS that he absorbed aren’t changing loyalty. They knew they worked for a dragon! This is nothing more than the “old” CAS infiltrating the UCAS military. Give it 6 months and they will destroy it from the inside. Then, when all the rebels are dead, we will be able to restore the UCAS to its true glory.
CPT Herman Plato (Maestro): Let the Maestro begin his musical. Hacksaw, you’re on first violin. Toad take the second trumpet. All right, now – swing! Yes ladies and gentlemen, the Maestro would have you believe that he is nothing more than a loving dad who writes music, but the reality is that he left behind the instruments for his bat a long time ago. He now makes music using the sounds of people’s skulls to construct his notes. A male is a b, female a c. Teenagers as a whole make a g and infants make an f, which should stand for fucked up and not a note! This callous bastard takes out his frustration on any unsuspecting bystander he comes across. The fact that he will be leading men to protect the civilians is an incredible joke, and in his eyes civilian casualties are nothing more than another sonata. Every time you download one of his tunes you are supporting the number of dead men, women, and children that were required for his “inspiration”. If you listen to his music you should be ashamed of yourself, and if you see him either call the authorities or take a shot. He isn’t broken like some of the rebels, but he does make Spade look like a nice guy – which should be reason enough.
<<Okay first off I am not anywhere near as bad as Spade, I don’t kill children nor do I sterilise the adults. I am a man of honour and dignity, I am a noble man that was simply trying to live his life in peace. I once played for the majors, a shortstop for the Detroit Tigers and the Colorado Rockies during my twenty year professional career, I was and still am a role model to many young athletes trying to better themselves in this brutal world.
I have never been involved in politics nor the war effort, I never chose sides nor cared enough to do so. I was focused on my family and my career both baseball and eventually music, I was left no choice when the war came to me and took my family and friends on my daughters wedding day. The UCAS forced this old man into the war and forced my hand, they forced me to take sides in a conflict that I would have rather staid clear of.
I joined the Sons of the True Confederacy and the Tennessee Elite out of grief and frustration, I had turned to drinking as a way to silence the nightmare and quell the demons of the massacre. I had put my baton down and hadn’t sat down at my piano for months at that point do to grief and trauma, I might have escaped serious injury but a torn rotator cuff is not nothing….thought that is my cross to bear. Within the SOTC and the Tennessee Elite I have continued my passion for music and work as the commander of the music division and act as head conductor and composer, yes I am combat trained and yes I have had to go on missions to defend my beloved Tennessee from the UCAS threat and to the lives I took in battle my heart does go out to those that still mourn; but we are all soldiers fighting within a just war and casualties happen.
I have joined the US Elite out of my passion for this nation as a whole, I remember when it was the United States of America and I would be standing proudly in the dugout with my cap over my heart head held high as the National Anthem would be sung before each and every game. I am an American first and foremost, I am for the unification of the nation and the quelling of the blood shed and killing of brothers in this bloody civil war. I am now part of a new division and new military and I lend my expertise to the music division and the band as their new composer and conductor, I am as well part of their athletic division where this old shortstop now commands and manages the new ball teams. My bat might have spilled blood and it might again, but I never choice to fight if there is a chance for peace, we must all continue to be role models for today’s youth and led from the front and set a shining example of what it is to be an American and a Patriot; God Bless and God Speed Amen…………Maestro Out>>>
CPT Crawford Sturgis (Harley): Here lays the snake of the snakes. The man that makes even Mitchy boy and Tang think twice about moving forward. One of three colonels of the elite – Texas Elite that is – yet only a captain here. Well, he is the captain of a number of sleeper cells in the UCAS. He pilots that ship through the night and when he finds a place to send an attack oh boy do those cannons open fire. He warps and twists the minds of the weak and can take even the most innocent child a terrifying enemy of all that is good. They will awaken like zombies from their death like slumber within society and begin to crave the lives of those who are doing nothing more than living their lives. He slowly turns the children of an area into nothing more than his brainwashed zombies. This is the type of person they have welcomed into this order? He not only targets the youth and the vulnerable, but he takes their free will and individuality from them. He does and stands for everything that the rebels claim the UCAS does (though don’t be fooled, we don’t). This should show you just how many lies the rebels weave. Don’t be fooled, they are doing nothing more than destabilising the sanctity of the country. They are destroying our way of life and like this man we are doing nothing more than welcoming them into our homes. When we get to the polls, remember who you should support and vote these war mongering bastards out of office!
CW5 Chelcie Court (Lobbyist): The Lobbyist, another piece of Jamestown scum. This bastard is the real show for politics in their organized family. Now I know: “His last name isn’t Jamestown!”. That just means they know he is a piece of shit and haven’t sold off one of their younger females to engage in his lust and disgusting behavior behind the scenes to grant him the name. This is both good in that someone is spared the disgrace of being underage and marrying an old man, but that won’t last for long (not to mention that just means they will be married off to another scum bucket – I hear there are some Horsemen looking for ties). Chelcie here may have Court in his name, but he believes in anything but the courts and the law. He jokes about his gun being the thing that gets bills to pass. They call it the deal maker, but the only deals it facilitates are those that make the Beast money and pilfer what little the public has left. Then he just smiles, cashes the check or drinks the kickback from his ties with Prince Grimm and starts the day anew. Didn’t you wonder why all Scotch and whiskey in the capital city came from the same distillery? If you believe it is a coincidence then you are a fool, just as they want you to be.
CPT Abbot Malone (Warrant): Oh look – the only warrant this organization will ever issue. Problem one – he is a Malone. What do they stand for? Oh yeah, the fucking mafia. Another Cajun another day, after all if nothing else it looks like Rivers likes to complete sets. Well, this is just another train wreck for the railroad since we are onto you once more Conductor. All tracks lead to the fact that you have pulled in almost all of the Rancor’s into whatever ridiculous operation you have going on here. I only wish we had known about them before now so that we could have added more useful information above. All our contacts can find is that these individuals are out on some sort of operation for the elite and once we figure out what it is we will display it to the world and nail you to the cross like your former Death’s Hand generals would. According to our contacts, the Professor was the first to truly perfect that art, so we will make sure you get the type of experience an expert like that would provide. Enjoy it for you are no martyr, just a sinner drowning in your own misdeeds.
General Grifter Antilles (Smuggler): When you look at the profile of a person with military service what type of name and background makes you think of a trustworthy soldier with your best interests in mind? No matter your answer, I can tell you it isn’t a guy called “Smuggler”. Even further, it definitely isn’t some roly-poly jackass who likes to choke people out on camera. Not even sure how he got the name smuggler, should have been something more like snuffer. That way you could describe both his habit of snuffing out life, as well as snuffing drugs. We don’t know what his euphemism “spice” represents, but we will find out what this new drug is and when it comes to light we will uncover the major drug ring within the US Elite. After all, if you have ever seen an interview with Pong or Buddy you know they are on something too. Its too strong to be weed and not destructive enough to be nuke, but when we figure it out we will expose it and file sanctions. Fucking rebels working to undermine not only the political system, but extort those in the slums. Despicable you are one and all.
General Bail Canterbury (Spacer): And with this entry their entire organisation is exposed. I would have never thought the rebels could be this stupid! The matrix is ablaze with rumors as to what this new “7th Rancor Battalion” could be up to since they are all missing. Well – we now know. A large subset of the elite – this entire Battalion – is working for a megacorp! Take a look at your tv and you will see them in the commercials! This is how our government handles warrants? Those accused have been given asylum by Disney in exchange for working on a movie! In fact, according to my contacts the Elite is contracted to gain 45% of the profits (after production costs are covered) from the new Star Wars movie! They have lent members of the President’s Men in order to give realistic lightsabers and have taken governors, senators, and statesmen out of office for its production! For fucks sake, this entry is the Senate majority leader! We don’t even have to look hard, they are mentioned in the credits of the trailer on the net! Here is your box of nails, would you like pine or maple? Cause your cross and casket have been prepared.
COL. Howell Perkins (Sleepwalker): Ah yes, the Sleepwalker. The pillager of those who require rest. One of the ultimate Death’s Hand assassins alongside Captain to roam this earth looking for targets to remove, wealth to steal, and the fame to do it all in the public eye and never be stopped. This is one of Alexanders’, I mean Jamie’s, first cleaners to use whenever there is a problem. Why has he been allowed into the UCAS military?! Oh, and everyone’s surprised that the Hand “invaded” Seattle?! They didn’t invade, we fucking invited them! Now our leaders, who thought they got good operatives that were working in a bad regime, are reaping what they sow. The people who worked in The Hand are not good operatives under cover you fucking twats, they are socio and psychopaths that had a good gig and simply took another because the first collapsed! We have genocidal maniacs running this branch of the military and now its just coming back to bite us in the ass. On the bright side, I heard they nearly took our Generals Rives and White, so we get a double bonus. Bonus 1 is to know that at least the leader of this branch is a legitimate general and the second is to know that a high ranking member of the Technocracy may have been killed. Other than that – all bad! I would say run the fuck away from Sleepwalker, but he only hunts when you are unconscious and therefore you will not have the opportunity.
COL. Elias Fort (Nuclear Killer): So we go from Sleepwalker to fucking Polaris?! Yeah, this one also doesn’t need introduction. His friends Ticker and Whistler can’t hold a candle to this man. You see, Ticker needs Whistler for the distraction in order to properly place all of his explosives. Polaris though – he doesn’t work with anyone. He sneaks in, plants his explosives, and leaves without being seen. Then, if he is seen, you get to find out the hard way that unlike Ticker this man actually earned his title within the Kingsman and will cut them down without a second thought. Or shoot them – though from what I have been told there is a certain feeling to a blade cutting the flesh that these men are addicted to, so they tend to like the up close and personal approach. Though I suppose for this monster he more enjoys the rooftop in view of his target to watch the art his work creates. In short – this guy is a fucking psycho. No advice on how to handle him, just hope that you aren’t the one in 7 billion person he is looking to end on any given day. I would say just don’t get out of bed, but then that will just lead you the Sleepwalker or the Sandman and you are still screwed.
General Reverdy Jamestown (Handler): Well well well, who do we have here? The good ol’ Handler. The southern gentlemen and kingmaker Reverdy Jamestown. What can we say about the Handler besides that he seemingly likes taking young Yates under his wing and teaching them with a picnic basket… Well for one this man can say that he may be a kingmaker on the level of Willhuff seeing as he has installed his son as the president of the UCAS and has been very involved in his cousin’s campaign in the South. Of course, he has done far more than that through his manipulations regarding mayors, city council members, governors, and senators. If there is something he or his masters want he simply tells the Mastermind to figure it out and have it on his desk by the next morning. Since the punishment for failing any member of the Jamestown family (and by extension the Palpatine family) is either death or mind control, his people work exceedingly hard to not fail. That said, you are in luck. Reverdy here is a former member of the 82nd and so while a monster in combat, just wait until he needs to take his next set of meds and then he will be unable to move and defend himself. Just another washed up useless old man. Good riddens.
Colonel Vernon O’Regan (Ticker): Well now, another member of the Elite from the Hand. Naturally where one of the dynamic duo goes so does the other, but what is a grandmaster of the Kingsmen to do when he and his closes friend is bored? Well their old playground went up in smoke (or so they would have us believe), so they have to find a new one. Let’s go hand out with that washed up group we worked with once – The Stormriders – and see if they have anything fun going on. Ooh – another fucked up government to extort and screw with. Sure Dictator, we followed you through Europe why not hang out in the UCAS. Wait, you seriously never made our body doubles? Why didn’t you put it in when you had Alexander’s made?! Then you wonder why Adolf was nearly killed when the Hand invaded; Ticker always gets his revenge. There isn’t much else to know about this son of a bitch. His fireworks are legendary and between him and his music making friend they are nigh unstoppable. I suggest staying away, but with this man the closer you are the safer you are – to a point. After all, it’s not like he is going to blow himself up. For that you need to go up top and look at …. oh wait a minute, Bravo isn’t listed. Well I guess that makes sense since he is a hero and this is obviously a listing of villains anyway.
Colonel Herbert Parish (Whistler): Another day, another assassin of the Hand. Naturally when Ticker joined the US Elite you had to know Whisper was going to follow. I heard there was a clause in their contract that if they are ever deployed they have to be together. Though for that you would need to find their paperwork, and in truth I suspect there isn’t any. After all, the government audits the books, not personnel. If they audited personnel then we would have a different secretary of defense now than in the last 100 years or so, though I digress. The Whistler is essentially a carbon copy of Patches, except he likes to whistle (obviously), he’s not as good, and he has abandonment issues so he stays with his buddy Ticker. Otherwise you pretty much know the shtick. Will go almost anywhere, do almost anything, and kill almost anyone – well as long as Ticker is down and there is a nice hotel for the two of them nearby. Don’t forget, after a rough mission you have to have someone to “relax” with. Thank god they haven’t developer working cyber wombs, or else these two might actually have children! Well, for now there are only two of them and that’s more than we need. Let’s just hope they pop a vein next time and bleed out.