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News Archives: 9/1/73 – 12/9/73 | 12/10/73 – 12/27/73 | 12/28/73 – 1/07/74 | 1/08/74 – 1/25/74  | 1/25/74 – 2/6/74 | 02/06/74 – 02/01/75  |  05/01/75 – 25/01/75 | 26/01/75 – 07/03/75

03/08/75 <- One More Time!

Ok ok ok, finally it’s at least the next day, but seriously what in the hell.  I don’t know who this “friend” is, but man they seem to have a hard on for me with their data.  Well, to that I say feel free to send it, cause holy crap this just keeps getting stranger and at this point I’m all in.  Alright, so this one is a bit weird (I know –  but just hold on).  Where the other videos started at the beginning of the fight, this one starts after the action has begun.

I feel like one of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons (you know, the ones we binge on Youtube at 3am so the dream warriors don’t get me).  This time on “X-Men vs.” we have “Mortal Kombat 2075” edition!  Ok, seriously, these fuckers need sleep almost as badly as I do.  I expect Stumpy and Darth Miasma to be awake – that’s what they do.  But why don’t the rest of them need rest!  They should still be recovering for months!  Whatever – probably just using bacta otherwise there is no excuse (well, unless they use magic I guess…).  God damn the demons are busy – and after this I agree that there is another that needs to be added (arguably two, but one of them is already a god so I don’t need to offend him more than writing this will).

Alright, so let’s start at the beginning.  This one doesn’t give me much in the way of setup, but based on the footage it looks like a number of runners were trying to rescue/abduct a whore from Rivet City in Seattle (road signs make identifying things easier – how I missed you!!!).  From where it begins Darth Miasma and Stumpy, alongside QM (not to be confused with WM mind you – different people!) are heading into an area.  They split up with a few other members (notably Penguin, Angel, Cowboy, and a few others I can’t see through the shadows) in order to flank a corner where this street whore…. Oh – I know that chick!  Not in that way!!!  She’s a runner, one of the new breeders in Seattle.  A quick image search shows her name is Stardust.  Ok, so they were going in to abduct a runner turned whore?  Or maybe an undercover op gone wrong… No idea.  But anyway, they head in.

It becomes apparent quickly that this is not a normal corner to work because there are armed guards watching her.  I think I’ve heard of those things – they all look the same.  The DAOD guards, Ronin I think.  They look a little weird, but the video shows the numbers on their neck so I guess that’s what they are.  Anyway, you can quickly tell something is up since the runners quickly look like they are rethinking their plan.  Then all hell breaks loose.  While I’m not sure who, someone got shot by one of those guards and all of the sudden the streets literally open up to underground tunnels.  Dude – there were literal hordes of citizens with guns waiting there in an ambush.  I mean, like, hundreds!  I don’t even know where they got the manpower for this, because no matter how many get slain they just keep coming!  Naturally, this is when the op goes from stealth to combat, and boy does shit go sideways.  Finally something I can understand, at least for the moment.  I always wanted to see an old-school Harbinger’s op, and I think this is what they were like based on the legends.

In a blink Darth Miasma and Bilbo have sabers out deflecting bullets with Bravo is moving from cover to cover to provide suppressive fire.  Darth Miasma starts firing off lightning at everything that moves.  Not to be outdone, Stomper begins zapping the shit out of people.  Wait, where did he come from?  Oh right, jetpacks are a thing.  On the rewind you can see him superman his way out of a copter.  Wait, I know that copter.  Well, mostly.  It looks kinda like the one from Georgia, but its painted white.  Sick!  And inside I can just barely make out Edison and Shelby piloting it – didn’t know the Proctor was a flight school instructor too!

Back to the action, they both begin lifting their hands and just chucking people.  I don’t mean like with a spell, but with a flick of the wrist they get thrown.  Turns out there were a lot of runners here as shooting erupts from all sides.  Members of Ruination, the Wellerman, The Demons, The Harbingers, and other orders start coming out of the woodwork.  As the battle begins to intensify on the camera I can see very clearly The Penguin go down – like permanently.  Bullet right to the temple.  One of the few good Senators (why are there so many politicians in these battles – stay where you belong and save our asses!).  Not long after a large, high security limo pulls up (no – I don’t know how it got past all the combatants either) and looks like it’s about to grab the “target” as the Railroad is known to call it.  That’s when someone has a bad day, and it’s not who you would think.

Out of the trunk pops out the Mummy himself!  He pops the guards in the car quickly with his bullets, scaring Stardust into the store behind (why is she running – isn’t she a shadowrunner too?!), but then very quickly realizes that he isn’t in Kansas anymore.  I guess he was expecting a hit and run, but what happened was he got hit and ran under the car as a couple bullets penetrated his side.  I guess the Post Office is having some communication problems since its boss knew of this op and the second in command had no idea… Well, I’m sure that’ll be a fun meeting next week!  Wonder what a business meeting with a Sith is like.  “You shall perform better my apprentice…”  Ugh, yeah, no more of that.

The action here in downtown goes from a bit nuts to worse as runners begin showing up all over the place.  At one point a group was going to get outnumbered until you see a glowing hatchet and trench knife simply erupt with blood from their bodies.  Oh wait, they are just moving fast – holy crap the camera can barely capture it.  Tac computers must be insane, cause I’m pretty sure this is a high speed lens.  At some point Rocket Man, well, rocket mans his ass out of the chopper too (didn’t see him on board, must have been on the guns) to come and “enjoy” the fray.  Not long after Milkbone just “apparated” into the thick of it firing his guns like a maniac.  Speaking of guns holy shit can that news anchor fire.  I mean, Milkbone is one of the best gunslinger adepts out there and yet it’s like he’s new to firing in comparison.  I’m pretty sure physics isn’t supposed to make that possible.

On top of the quick shooting, Addison also showed he has quite Kung Fu prowess since once he ran out of bullets (almost like it was planned) Raiden showed up.  Like, in a bolt of lightning that hits the ground right next to the guy and he doesn’t bat an eye.  I guess when the goddess of Outworld starts cheating, the gods on this side need to show up.  Gods you say?  Yes – the one I’m not making a demon.  Yup, not pissing him off.  Don’t worry, he knew kung fu.  Or something like that – and he knew raito-jutsu.  The dude just conjured ancient lightning like I reach for a rootbeer…  Only he throws more lightning than soda that I can drink.  He starts fighting side by side with Grassy and oh my god that’s a lot of body parts.  Like, seriously I don’t think we are going to need an organ donor for a while.  Well, as long as we only need still beating hearts…

 

Anyway, the fighting continues for what seems like both seconds and hours.  Eventually the SPD decides to get involved – you know, to “help”.  The yellow jackets begin firing less lethal ammunition (at first) into the groups as their ships start pelting the surrounding area.  Unfortunately, it looks like along with the rest of the Post Office, the director of the FBI didn’t let local law enforcement know what was going on, so they fired indiscriminately upon the crowd.  Given the numbers game, this was hurting the runners much more than the enemy group.  Based on some of the chatter the video pics up (after running some analysis in Audacity76) it looks like this was a major base of the Neon Church, though the music also signifies those assholes in Freebird.  Just what we need, more brainwashing and corrupt religion – didn’t they just get rid of the Keg?!

Now hold on, I’ve heard of the Neon church and nowhere do they advertise being a part of Free Bird.  Seriously – religion and brain washing?!  Well, if you listen to the streets there isn’t much of a difference (speaking of which, why isn’t Tic-Tac with them?).  If that is true then man I gotta tell my friends to stay away from that shit.  I saw some of their recruiters once and they seemed friendly, but I’m wary now.  If anyone knows any info on them I’d love to repost it so let me know! Especially if you know Stardust since she was obviously in the thick of it!

As the battle wages on eventually The last of the demons and their allies (along with many other runners that are hard to identify – almost like these videos are targeting specific individuals) arrive.  Snapper and Welder make a move to go pickup their target.  Though it takes some time – I guess that building wasn’t as empty as it looked.  After some blood, shouting, and the sound that I now know to be unmistakable that welder, I shit you not, while Welder is zapping the assholes with his signature weapon the Snapper grabs her, sticks his Mandalorian helmet on her (he’s one of those too!), shoots out some sort of spike from his arm, and uses his jetpack to carry her out.  What does he get for his troubles?  Not a T-Shirt, but a bunch of bullets, some of which look like they may have found their home.

When Snapper is mid-flight another jetpacker, Multi-Tool himself, transfers the package (and his helmet) and gets her out of there.  Well, sadly nobody else got the message that the op was over so not much changed in the big battle.  I guess once they had a bunch of enemies there both sides wanted to obliterate the other.  As the Sith Lords (I suspect I will soon discover Darth Stomper’s true name) continue to engage, another shift happens. This one is the craziest yet.  Apparently the new demon, Corkscrew, gets called out by name, by … honestly I’m not sure.  I can hear it, but I can’t see the person talking.  Sounds like it’s coming from the clouds.  They claim it’s “Kronika”, which based on my opening I think they are being legit.  Man, they legit had the god of time from Outworld working against them.

Now, this brings in a whole nother quandary of questions.  Does the Neon Church worship Kronika?  Does she worship the Neon Church?  Is she a Christian?  Is she actually Jesus?  Man, I have no fucking clue.  But like god, visibly she is absent in this battle so I guess nobody but her knows – wonderful another religion thing!  Telling you man, stay away from that Church.  Based on the games and the comics (and these events) she is a bitch!

Back to the action, she calls out “Addie” and says she has a present.  Let me tell you – after this I’m not sure I want another present EVER AGAIN.  The road itself cracked with energy as, I swear I’m being serious here, fucking Goro from Mortal Kombat rises from the road.  But not just a normal one, like in the video game.  It’s like an undead version of him.  Scars from where he was killed all over.  It was, like, 30 feet tall and looked like what I imagine a half-dragon looking like.  Let me tell you something now.  Let me be perfectly clear.  I know I may have sounded crazy in my earlier posts.  But no shit – the Harbingers and Horsemen are officially off limits for anything.  

Now at this point let me give you a few tips for living that I have garnered from lurking on this wiki since it went public a while back.  Tip 1 – runners are crazy and take on jobs that would get people (often themselves) killed.  The more legendary the runner, the more shit they are willing to put up with. The longer they have been around the more tuned their danger sense and the more powerful equipment they have.  There is an old adage in my online gaming club.  If you see a high level player running from combat, get your level 6 ass out of there.  Well, that can be applied to normal life too.  If you see a runner running away, you should probably skedaddle.

So how do I know this was bad – cause the “Normal” runners start running their asses off to get the hell out!  The second that giant Goro thing showed up the masses with guns straight up just stopped fighting in order to worship it and the streets emptied of the “normal” runners.  Now,  I don’t mean regular runners or sane runners, I mean like THE FUCKING Claw (you know – the one that told a country Japan to fuck itself through its RenRaku openening) saw that thing and all the sudden he was fucking out of their!  I mean poof like a goddamn video game.  Mariners, Ruination, god all of the teams that were present ran for their lives through the now worshipping masses.  They saw that thing and basically went “Fuck That NO!”.  Well, everyone but the twelve demons and a few of the couriers.  But even the couriers had enough brains to stay out of direct melee range.  The demons, they ran their asses off too – but towards it.

If this wasn’t already weird enough, well get ready for this.  Good Ol’ Quizmaster asked himself a question.  He said, I wonder if I shoot where the voice is coming from if that’ll help.  Well, at least I assume he said that to himself since he pointed his arm diagonally away from the middle, shot, and yanked.  Now, outside of destroying his arm I don’t know what he was firing at or what the bullet was made out of (holy water and orihalcum?), but fuck it worked.  He shot, then there was the screaming of the one calling herself “Kronica” and a flash of light.  I kid you not, all the soldiers fell to the ground, became old corpses, and vanished into dust like they were being raised by a poorly trained Plymouth wannabe.  What the hell did he shoot?!@#$%^&

Now, you would think between the fighters here that this thing, without its puppet master or support would go down without a fight, but you would be wrong.  Throughout the entire time of the zombies(?) bowing and then disappearing the demons + Raiden were getting their asses handed to them.  Darth Miasma wasn’t able to damage it with his lightsabers, and everyone else that carries a lightsaber switched to guns, staffs, or harpoons.  Yup – apparently sabers don’t do anything to whatever the hell race this thing is.  Though to be fair, neither does lightning or anything else they were doing.  They would crack it with what looked like a powerful attack and it would mostly ignore them and kick or punch back.  At one point Snapper shot him with a chain thing and was rewarded with part of a building being grabbed and chucked at him.  Bilbo smacked him with his stick in the back of the knee, and all it did was scoff and punt him like the dwarven football he used to be. There were a handful of them trying to use their chains to help restrain its FOUR ARMS, but they were being used like a morningstar half the time too.  Seriously, it yanked Monty and Edison from standing to through a wall and back like a whip more times than I can count.

Off in the distance Multi-Tool can be seen flying back like a bat out of hell to the fight this thing – grudge match maybe?  As he swoops down he sends in a chain spike and whips himself (like with Devil) into a choke hold on the beast.  While he did that Darth Miasma started casting for real – and god damned I’m not sure whether I would bet on him or Avalon at this point.  He conjured up winds that were cutting into the stone and merged some sort of smoke with his lightning and shot it at the thing.  This seemed to work, though it also seemed to beat the shit out of Multi-Tool too who was getting the worst contact high of his life.  As the two were zapping and strangling the rest of the demons and runners left onsite kept smacking, shooting, and zapping it until eventually it was strangled and fell to the ground becoming nothing more than dust.

Now, there are a lot of runners that didn’t get a major shout out, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t here for the fun at least part of the night.  They just weren’t always center stage, but all twelve of the demons were in display along with most of the Wasteland Outlaws from the Courier’s page.  Many members of Ruination, the Mariners, The Harbingers, and other teams were on site, though once the Goro thing showed up it was mostly those mentioned above.  Seriously, what training do you undergo not to run from that kind of nightmare.  Any of them who were in melee got beat to hell.  That includes Zapper (or should I say Darth Zapper, he was in on the lightning and throwing people too), Hatchetman, Found, Rocket Man, Ghostbuster, and Milkbone.  Other runners of honorable mention who were still around at the end, but were smart enough to stay at distance, include The Director, The Handler, and Peaches.  While there may have been more, that was all my video shows.

After the large thing dies Darth Miasma goes down and that’s when Bilbo goes to cast stabilize and heal on him.  Then, before anything else can happen the video cuts abruptly.  Now, if you have been reading my posts until now you know where my opinions and theories stand.  All I can say is, I guess if Jedi and Mandalorians are real, then why not Mortal Kombat.  Seriously, I’m gonna start taking Kung Fu lessons in case I hear the gong.  Fuck this shit is crazy.  How can this world be real – all of this is insane.  Time for another 4-Loco – can’t sleep and can’t stay sober.

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12/02/2075: Now It’s My Turn WTF

Hey I have no idea what’s actually going on here, but just like a guildmate of mine……Hey lets raid those Coalition Creeps Later Silver Sword! Oh ya as I was saying, I was here preparing the campaign for tonight’s game of “Sword’s & Sorcery” that I run over the matrix thanks to all my friends thinking they are “To Cool” for roleplaying anymore. Well I am just finishing up the final dungeon when I hear a “POP” and right there on my desk is a disc with a note stating “From a Friend”…..seriously this is too weird, my buddy Silver Sword was telling me about this crap he has been getting and I was like too cool and damn I hope it happens to me…….and low and behold I am the next lucky one to get a free gift.

Now Silver Sword is all sorts of freaked out over his, I haven’t scene them as each link was nothing more than a “Rickey Roll” though his writing is really good and he is the normal one in our group……seriously he only plays Human Fighters or Human Rogues (How Boring), but he is loosing his mind over this multiple discs in only a handful of hours and getting to witness the Coven and Hunters blow up a chocolate factory in person…………..holy shit he is lucky! Though these discs and this group called the Dream Warriors have him totally spooked and he has been going insane over this……..Oh crap out of Cherry Pop…..(Hey MA….bring me some more Doubly Cherry Jolta Pop!)

Okay he has been talking none stop about these videos and the existence of the “Jedi, Mandalorian, X-Men, Vampires, and even Mortal Kombat!”……I mean when he first told me about it, I was like BS bro and he was like no seriously man….it’s all real and take a look and than I got Rickey Rolled and was like again BS Dude it’s some old last century meme man, he was like no man seriously it’s real and I know he can’t send it to me digitally seeing the N.W.O will be all over it and remove him……..seriously the Horsemen are no joke, but than I saw his articles on the Shadow Wiki and was like Holy Shit you can’t make that shit up dude!

He also told me he some new dudes came to his school from out of town and they are stoners, gamers and from the mean streets of Chi Town……no not Bug City but Old Town Chicago and they moved down to Atlanta…..well that part I won’t spoil, but these two have joined our online gaming group and I swear I have scene them before but I just can’t place it, kind off on the tip of my tongue but they are cool dudes. They have been helping keep Silver Sword sane through all this crazy crap and now it has happened to me too, no one is going to believe this……..let me upload the link now, oh fuck it the Horsemen will simply find it and remove it and me.

Okay let me just take a page out of Silver Sword’s book here and just translate what the fuck I just saw and put it to written form……oh for fucks sake, this can’t be real…….ya now I understand why Silver Sword is all sorts of fucked up!! This shit is beyond real, this shit is totally fucked up and what the serious fuck……….(Sorry Ma, I will try not to curse). Okay where are my smokes, and good a full bottle of Double Cherry Jolta as I am going to need it……..Oh shit, I am going to be sick…..this is not right, how the hell did Silver Sword watch what he wrote about, this isn’t even natural…….okay deep breath and lets start this shit before I regret watching this and trying to write this article.

Okay this starts off in what seems like Senator Maximillian Yates’s office….probably a home office, though not sure as it’s only showing Bilbo….”Go Harbingers!” he is telling some older folks can’t make out who it is “That not to worry the child is safe here, this is a very safe place.” than crash seriously the ceiling collapses and crushes the desk and Corkscrew comes crashing down on top of some crazy looking blades for arms, hundred teeth monster under him, they slam into the senators desk and nock everything over and as the beast is basically broken in half…..Corkscrew tears it’s heart out and looks up at Bilbo and Bravo who I can now see……and simply says “Sorry about that, this happens all the time.” what the hell was Corkscrew talking about happening all the time, though in a flash Bilbo pulls out this crazy looking blue glowing staff and just jumps through the hole made by Corkscrew.

Bravo crashes through the door and does some crazy fleet footed acrobatics bouncing of furniture and shit…..seriously how does that man beast move that quick and nimbly, Corkscrew is back on his feet and up through the hole as well in a flash……..hell he beat Bilbo up there and Bilbo jumped first. Now as Bilbo clears the hole he gets his bell rung hard and is sent back through the hole as Multi Tool cracks him square in the head with this green glowing staff, seems Bilbo jumped straight into the path of Multi Tool and another of those crazy multi tooth looking things. Multi Tool can be heard yelling “Sorry Sapphire” and Bilbo responds “No worries Jade” and than….hell I am going to call him Sapphire jumps back through the hole and enters the fray! Ya this is some crazy shit as Jade, Addie, and Sapphire are now fighting what three enemies two of those bladed multi teeth things and one green skinned reptile thing……I have slowed the frame rate down to a crawl and I know I am missing shit, this is some crazy crouching tiger hidden dragon level shit man. There is blood, gore and teeth going everywhere, you can hear bones breaking but they are still fighting at warp speed.

Seems that Sapphire drew the shortest straw as he gets partnered up with the reptile looking thing and let me tell you I would choose that over the multi blade blender monsters that Jade and Corkscrew are fighting……not sure why Silver sword started calling Addie that but it works. Now I am trying to watch all three fights and it seems that Jade gets roundhouse kicked straight through the wall and Addie ends up crashing through the roof with his dance partner……screw it Bilbo is dancing with his and he knows some crazy Kung-Fu level shit, as it looks like he is using the same fighting style Jade was using, he looks as if he has the green thing beaten and in a heartbeat I mean a juicer heartbeat man it is behind him……and crazy kicks his ass through the wall into the next room! Man this is some seriously fucked up shit, these Devils move like lighting and I mean I know I am missing shit.

Meanwhile in the front room a bunch of runners and the fucking King of England are sitting talking, some are starting to move when suddenly the kings face is covered in blood as Milkbone is up in a flash and puts his hand straight through some invisible beasts chest and than shows the king the monsters still beating heart in Milkbone’s hand……I thought he was a gunfighter, guess he knows Kung-Fu as well. At the moment techno dance fighting music can be heard blaring in the background as Dark Miasma draws this wicked looking blackish grey sword…….Oh Shit that’s a Fucking Sith Sword!! Inspector Gadget goes into some odd looking stance, Stomper tears off up the stairs, the fucking Gargoyle gets involved, Eddie dispatches this crazy chain hook thing from his wrist into another invisible monster screaming “Get over here!”

The Professor draws some unique looking blade and Monty pulls his you guessed it Hatchet and that shit starts to glow green and tears off up the stairs faster than both Stomper and Bravo who mind you had a head start and at the start of this Monty was laying on the ground looking totally stoned out of his mind. This is totally crazy as I know I am missing shit, it’s happening so quickly…..I mean other runners in the room haven’t even moved yet and it already looks like a scene out of the Matrix movies! For Christs Sake the fucking King of England hasn’t moved a muscle and he nearly dies twice and is saved by both Milkbone and Darth Miasma, fuck I am never fucking with the Horsemen nor the FBI ever again…..not even in jest if that’s what the director can do!

On the stairs Bravo is fighting some crazy snaggletooth beast and a scream can be heard coming from down the hall, that’s when Stomper shows up and just grabs the Mr. Snaggletooth and seriously cooks his ass with electricity and is repaid in kind by being side kicked by another green thing that shows up out of nowhere and sends Stomper through a wall…..I mean people are being kicked, punched and simply thrown through walls, floors, and ceilings with ease and getting back up with shit piercing there body…..I mean Addie on the roof has parts of the structure and shingles in his legs, shoulders and side and is still fighting! That fight is insane, I mean big budget movie level insane, I have it on the slowest mode and I am still having trouble keeping up…..Addie is taking on three of those snaggletooth creatures and one ninja in purple robes……also it started pouring rain and thundering and lighting in fucking December!

On the roof this is straight out of a King Fu movie from the turn of the century but speed up to super crazy levels, I didn’t know adepts where that damn good but holy shit no wonder the government wanted to have them registered and no wonder they are not allowed in compotation as Addie who mind you is getting pounded on, he is also blocking most of the strikes as well……simply jumps onto one the snaggletooth creatures locks his legs around the beasts neck and does some cool looking backbend and tosses the beast through the chimney by only his legs…..than Addie ends up back on his feet and goes back to fighting……..this is super fast and super crazy, the purple ninja uses what looks like ninja magic…..Guess that’s a thing now! He creates a purple orb and tosses it at Addie, this turns the pouring rain into glass shards as they slice into Addie; he yells but even bleeding he doesn’t stop. The purple ninja simply states “Champion, you can’t prevent us from taking the chosen one.” Addie simply yells back “Over my dead body, Rain” and his hand than turns blue and he unleashes an blast of ice that simply freezes the pouring rain and well impales the purple ninja…..Addie does some weird sort of flipping spin move and drives his hand straight into the skull of the enemy and pulls out the brain, spine and eyeballs in one flawless move……Okay that was disgusting and I hope to never see that again.

Back downstairs in the hallway Bravo has busted into the room where the screaming was coming from, well sort of he got to the door and holy shit this is fucking crazy and how the hell did Silver Sword keep up with this crazy shit…..I have to rewind so many times and I am still getting all sorts of screwed up on the timeline and when and where things are happening, can these people pick one location to fight in for fucks sake……seriously their outside, inside, in the air, through walls and floors, and teleporting cause that’s a fucking thing!! I mean Jade went crashing through the wall with his opponent and than shot a grapple into the house pulled himself back, though while in the air he released that chain hook thing from his wrist and speared the enemy pulled him too him and they fought in the air as the grapple line was pulling them back into the house and by the time they touched down Jade tore the snaggletooth beasts spine out through it’s mouth…….How seriously How I don’t even want to know!!

Sapphire was fighting in another room that had his kids in it……well he didn’t have a choice as he was kicked through the wall, though Mamma Bear Jet moves like lightning as well as she started getting the kids out of the room quickly and avoiding the crazy fighting going on in the room and in the hallway; man I am glad I am not there kids, talk about mental trauma. Sapphire and Bravo look like the they are the newest in this crap as hell we know they are both New Breeders but they are keeping up with the rest of the demons…..not sure how! Though Bilbo was getting his ass kicked as the reptile thing kept blinking all around him and blocking every attack, though even when they did trade blows and blood would splatter……well acid for the reptile thing, guess that’s a reality and something I will now add to my RPG dungeon tonight……sorry back to the events unfolding on screen.

You try to play by play a multi opponent, multi location street fight that is not fucking scripted like the professional wrestling or moving at normal speeds like the UFC……….this is neither and moving at speeds that my brain can’t comprehend and I am hopped up on enough caffeine to give a troll a heart attack currently. Okay in another room we find the Invincible One talking with his son Aloha and for some reason Silver Sword keeps calling him Found…I mean the Invincible One “Found” though it seems that multiple enemies emerge in black ninja robes and try to ambush Found well he just pushes his son to the floor and begins to open a can of whoop ass on those ninjas……thus proving that he is a Crystal Dragon and worthy of being the Grand Sensei of the Hawaiian Chapter; Found simply lays into those ninjas like they are his bitch and he is there pimp…..I mean for an old FIP and politician that man can move, and even his son knew papa bear would be okay as he simply took off out of the room to help Jet with the kids.

Found would draw his trench knife from under his coat and the knife started glowing blueish and he would slice and dice his way through the ninjas with ease only suffering a few direct hits…..though those hits would spill blood and cause Found to stumble, though he seemed focused and directed and not without being outdone he would as well spin kick catch one of the ninja’s with the heel of his oxford and send it’s head flying out the window and into the pool…..he would than punch another in the stomach with his bare hand and yank out the entrails and than use them as a lasso to choke the poor bastard out with before driving his knife into the bastards skull spilling the ninja’s brains everywhere…….though he would than be roundhouse kicked square in the jaw and sent crashing through the wall and window and again in mid flight he also unleashed that chain spike thing hooked the ninja and pulled him towards himself and continued the forward motion to launch the ninja past him……Found would use the enemies flight against him and with his trench knife he would nearly slice the bastard in two…….seriously this is better than any big budget action movie, far grosser and far more brutal but seriously they need to turn this into a fucking movie. Okay I am better, now in a single motion Found simply recoils the chain from the now dead ninja, does some sort of physics breaking spin flip lands on his feet facing the house and does a simply but quick bow goes “Walaa” and than the ninja just explodes into a mist of gore and blood right over the pool……I mean that was very cool and well timed.

Found than tears off into the house to aid in the battle that seems to be never ending, in the hallway Bravo finishes off his snaggletooth thing that he actually choked the fuck out like Grifter…….though it split it’s jaw in half and bite his cyber hand. Meanwhile Stomper was fighting a ninja that he called Boon and it looked like it was using “Shadow Magic” I have no idea……seriously none, Addie is still on the roof fighting countless enemies in something he called “Fuck, not survival a challenge” Eddie has at this point managed to get kicked through the chimney and fireplace in the living room and yet still managed to defeat his opponent by introducing him to flying bricks that Eddie simply pointed at that were collapsing…..time seemed to stand still, he launched that chain hook again caught not one but two snaggletooth enemies and yanked them towards him he than mind you still in mid flight and crashing through bricks….everything is slowed down like “Bullet Time” he flicks his fingers at the falling bricks and sends them like rockets at the skull of the one enemy and boom the head simply explodes…Eddie can be heard saying in that accent of his “Well now that’s a crushing defeat, your next!” and he simply again in another physics defying move seems to stop all together and allowing the monster impaled on his spear chain to come right at him and in a blink Eddie seems to allow it to pass by unharmed…….well here is were I nearly puked for the umptieth time as Eddies feet hit the ground, his one hand is up in the air the wall, bricks, fireplace and stuff suddenly “Un Bullet Time” and everything speeds up super quick……Eddies hand is up you can see the blood and broken bones sticking out of him as his is simply holding the fucking bloody gore infused skeleton of the enemy……yes nope the flesh and muscle all exploded out of the house and right past Eddie’s hand as he was holding the skeleton by the sternum and mind you it’s still alive…….how not sure, I am not sure the snaggletooth thing knew it was still alive, than as the King of England, Mayor, Order, Jackal, and Rattlesnake started to move mind you…….Eddie slammed the still living minus flesh and muscle skeleton to the ground and in one move tears out the heart than crushes it in his grasp…Eddie can be heard saying “I’m such a heartbreaker.” followed by “Double Fatality” than he is gone in a blink and will reemerge upstairs in what appears to be the final stage.

Now I need to take a break and state……seriously that is Edison the fucking School Teacher from Louisiana, that is the man that says he is just a Humpty Dumpty and nothing to see here……that man tore out a fucking skeleton and exploded a skull with bricks!!! This man slowed fucking time and space around him and defied physics, not once but multiple times, that man moved faster than fucking Dictator, Governor, Rattlesnake, Order, and Jackal……I mean that man moved faster or on par with Milkbone, Darth Miasma, and Inspector Gadget! Not to mention somehow got to the other side of the house…….Why the Serious Fuck is he not on the Top Twelve Demons List, Silver Sword you missed one and his name is Heartbreaker!

Okay mind you I am sorry I am all over the place here the video is getting really hard to follow as it keeps jumping all over the place and at speeds that are starting to give me vertigo…..Inside the living room Darth Miasma, Milkbone, Gargoyle and the Professor where dispatching the enemies as fast as they could arrive and I mean it was like they were just respawning and at some point Raiden shows up blowing out the electronics and yet there is still a video…..not sure how! Bilbo ends up covered in this thick oily shadow stuff, Bravo gets chucked down the hall by some red robed ninja than charges back into the room only to watch as Monty emerges from the shadows with his glowing hatchet and engages the red ninja and makes very quick work out of it by driving the hatchet into it’s skull, hip drawing this cool looking Indiana Jones style pistol and shooting the fucker in the chest and than he does some Kung-Fu spin kick and you can hear the ninja’s jaw snap and spin the fucker around, he then drives the hatchet square into the back spins the fucker again and rips the hatchet out of its back by waving his hand and summoning it back to him…..mind you it came back to his hand by going through the ninja’s chest and tearing out it’s front……he than grabbed the poor enemy by the hips and seriously I am never fucking with Monty either as he just tore the bastard in half, tossing the fuckers body to the ground.

Bravo ended up grabbing an infant that this Red thing called the Chosen One and took the hell off out of there……seriously I would have just ran out the door once this shit started and they all kept going. In the hallway Sapphire and Stomper where fighting that Black Shadowy thing and some other snaggletooth’s……green lizard looking men where also all over the place but they seemed easier to dispatch, though easy is a relative term at this point! Bravo does some weird “Bullet Time” wall running shit over the heads of the Sapphire and Stomper and hands the child off to Raiden. Than returns to the fight, Welder was involved in this as well and juicing assholes and spearing them into the oblivion…..Back upstairs, Sub Zero shows up and protects Bravo’s wife who has yet been able to get out of bed as more beasts try to murder fuck her, he protects her with a wall of ice…..guess that’s why they call him Sub Zero. Than through the roof comes crashing Snapper and he is impaled by the blades of one of the snaggletooth’s with two others still after him, he as well has one of those chain things as he impales one and is managing to still fight while prone! Legend showed up and tried to help but seemed to be outclassed by the enemies….though he did get one lucky strike in before he started to get outclassed by these ninja’s and snaggletooth things.

The ninja called Boon that was being engaged by Stomper seems to flee before meeting certain death at the hands of both Stomper and Sapphire…..mind most of the work was done by the more seasoned Stomper, though Sapphire and Bravo seemed more capable at dealing with these things than the fucking Legend….What The Fuck!! Okay I am better, back in the room the side wall comes crashing in as Addie and Eddie are scene fighting more of those Lizard Folk and Snaggletooth’s while as well being engaged by two more black robed ninjas……this is going to not end well for the bad guys. On the ground Snapper is fending off three snaggletooths while protecting Legend by drawing there ire towards him and he is rewarded with yet another slash to his mid section. You can hear Snapper yelling to Legend…”Get out of here Boy!!” and he is being ignored, than in a flash something emerges from the shadows and nearly slices Legends head off…..Snapper’s quick thinking is the only thing to keep Legend alive as he hooks the creature and pulls it to him to absorb the attack and lets just say I am not sure how he survived the slice to his chest and arm, but that old bastard is one tough SOB!

He than in a look of total frustration slams his wrist on the ground and launches some sort of micro rocket system………holy shit Whistling Birds as they all converge on on of the bastards on him and boom…..blood and guts everywhere! Snapper than screams again “I told you to leave Boy, your useless here Boy!” Snapper than slams his fist into the floor and cracks it open like it was made of paper and sends Legend falling to the room below. Now things really started to pick up in speed as Addie or Corkscrew, Eddie or Heartbreaker, Monty or Hatchetman, Inspector Gadget, Subzero, Snapper, Stomper, Jade, Sapphire and eventually Bravo converge on the last of the enemies….now this wasn’t an easy fight to watch as it was moving s quickly that everything looked like a blur but from what I could see is that the last of the snaggletooth creatures and ninja’s where basically turned into lunchmeat by the group and this all happened in what seemed like seconds but could have been quicker……..though this entire fight from what I can see by the disc lasted over an hour; how is that possible.

Though if I wasn’t already deathly afraid of Eddie and Addie well after watching the two of them dispatching multiple enemies while in the air, and this includes Addie punching one ninja so hard it’s head popped off like popping a cork…….oh I get it Corkscrew. Eddie ripped out a larynx and karate chopped another on the ear that it’s eyeballs popped out of it’s head and brains exploded out it’s ear, they had been attacked by eight of these beings before they exploded the wall……by the time the wall came crashing in, well they were down to four. One the roof Snapper and Jade where engaged with multiple as well, and even Ghostbuster was in on the action as he was kicking ass and taking names, this was total chaos and it seemed they all loved it…..I mean I watched as Snapper on the roof punched one of these ninja’s in a white robe on the top of the head so hard it’s entire spine compressed and he than tore it’s head off spine and all and was heard saying…….”Damn It, I broke my Pez dispenser.” that was before he got jumped by three snaggletooths and sent crashing through the roof……..While that was going on Jade was using that staff, shooting fire, ice and lighting at these things that were all around him……..muttering “Get the Champion!” and Jade simply stating “Better have tried, and Better have failed.” and he opened a can of whoop ass on them, sparks could be scene as there blades connected with his armor and dug into his flesh.

So much going on and it was so fast, it’s hard to describe but eventually the wall gets blown open as Addie and Eddie double hook one of the snaggletooths and send him crashing into the wall, and was given aid from Airwolf and I can’t believe I missed that he was even there but he was ripping off body parts and pulling out organs all around the house in the outside and hell I missed when Airwolf and Found took on four purple robed ninjas and like double dragon they seriously whooped there asses…..I mean Found is already a monster, and Airwolf is no laughing matter either; though can they try to kill these things without all the gore. I mean Airwolf karate chopped one on the head and than pulled out the brain and eyes, he also set one on fire by simply throwing an ember at it from his glove…….Found like his brother tore one in half, and I forgot to mention that when he was still in the room with his son he ripped one of the ninja’s hearts out with his bare hands in front of his kid……..mind you Aloha had a total shocked look on his face and even muttered “My Father just ripped someone’s heart out.”

Okay sorry about that, seriously how is someone supposed to keep up with all this shit, okay at this point I can understand why they slow shit down in the movies cause this is total anarchy! Now back to the final stage, it is a slaughter fest as the enemy ninja’s try to flee but are seriously slaughtered and to call it a slaughter is being nice, one had it’s heart torn out by Addie, it’s spine ripped out by Eddie, it’s arms torn off by Stomper, it’s junk ripped of by Snapper and it’s head sent flying by Jade while it’s chest cavity was concaved by Sapphire. The other had it’s sternum cracked open by Monty and it’s lungs ripped out of it’s body at the same time……..Monty is seriously scary and don’t you need a bone saw to do that, also excuse me……………..@$%^$^#$%#@@#%$@ Okay I am better……(No Ma I am not sick……No Ma I don’t need any Pepto! Don’t come up here Ma!! Crap well she heard my heaving into my bucket from watching that very “Bullet Time” fatality) Okay doors locked where good….were was I….yes well I am going to leave it with that one, though that’s where it seems to end…….Raiden returns hands Bravo back the Chosen One and says that all the Champions and Sapphire will protect the Child as will he from………..that’s where the video cuts and abruptly ends.

Now I will try to give my best Silver Blade Synapsis of what I just witnessed…….Well as he would say this was X-Men Vs Mortal Kombat as I have scene those snaggletooth creatures before in the game, though can’t remember what they are called and it seems the Wiki is down for some reason. First and Foremost I will never say a negative thing about any of the people that I just watched in battle here……they are true Devils to deal with, and we need to add a few to that list of Silver Blades namely Heartbreaker and Candyman that’s what I am calling Snapper from now on as he turns people into candy bits…..seriously one smack and he drove the entire spine basically out that fuckers ass! The Palpatine Brothers are No fucking Joke, they are all fucking terrifying and I hope to never meet them in a bad way, and Multi Tool is the real deal that man is a total bad ass and true one man army……..Never Fuck With the Multi Tool and I guess this is what happen……….Fuck It, I am going to end this here…..I have a game to prepare for and pizza to order, though I am not sure I can or want to eat after watching “The Many Faces of Death” for the last few hours, seriously they all looked seriously fucked up, but they never stopped……and really okay I am now terrified, dream warriors and some of them are those assholes, super quick martial artists that are as well Mandalorian warriors according to Silver Blade, Jedi or maybe Sith!!, Mortal Kombat being real…….though I will have to look into that further, though the Crystal Dragon emblem is the sigil from the game series.

Ya I am done, I need to process this further and hope that I can make heads or tails of this…..I need to reach out to Silver Blade and compare notes, well till the next disc arrives and have a good night.