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Top 10 Funniest Runner Names

Disclaimer! This list is subject to interpretation and opinion. If you don’t see a name on this list that you think SHOULD be. Please, by all means, post it in the comments below, I dare you! But without further ado, welcome to….

 

WALDO’S TOP ELEVEN COMIDIC RUNNER NAMES!

 

Why top eleven? Because I always liked to go many steps too far, like making this list in the first place. No one is exempt or safe from this list, not a one. Why you might ask? Because I’m long dead now and I don’t fear jack shit over here in the Dagobah System. If anyone wishes to get their name off this list, just mail me at P.O. Box Probably a smoking crater somewhere.

And now! Onto…..

 

Number Eleven : Anthony “Tic-Tac” Dicane

Ok, ok, ok! I know what you’re thinking! “But Waldo, he’s a cop! Not a runner!” Well, the sorry chummer is officially on my old team’s roster by now, so he already dreked up… Tic Tac patty wack give this dog a bone, cause that old kid ain’t goin home. But we do have to throw this dog a bone, he is still alive and hasn’t mucked up any IMPORTANT phone calls yet. But being as loyal as a well trained dog, he’ll go far, now if only he could learn to find the newspaper….

 

Number Ten: Sixx & Seven

Why’s Sixx afraid of Seven? Cause Seven Eight Nine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA……… Why is no one laughing?

 

Number Nine: Simba

Hakuna matata cause it’s just the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife! All I can do now is sit here and wait for his Nala to show up some time fo that creepy shifter lovin! Though I haven’t been able to track down Pride Rock, mind helping me out there Simba? Awesome thanks!

 

Number Eight: Eight Ball

Eight ball, corner pocket! Don’t scratch the eight ball! Oh magic Eight Ball, Did we stand a chance at Fort Lewis? *Shakes Eight Ball* “Don’t count on it.”

 

Number Seven: Sandman

Bring me a dream, make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen! Give him 2 lips like roses and clovers…. That is all I ever heard in my head when he showed up. That stupidly old song, on loop, in my head. Funny honestly if I do say so myself.

 

Number Six: Nick

Nick “Fury”… HRM, Irish bastard, dunkered but I repeat myself. I never would have imagined that the leader of the shield would be with the HRM, let alone be friends with my dead ass. Though at least his avenger’s have assembled… mostly to try and get a free meal and booze.

 

Number Five: Tailspin

I wonder if he’s really a disguised bear shifter, with a water plane, that does smuggling and cargo shipping with a plucky little sidekick…. Only time will truly tell….

 

Number Four: Casper

Casper the friendly ghost, he’s the friendliest he could be. Go on up and give him a hug, or ask him to make you into a ghost like him. It’ll work out great! You can trust me, I’d never lie to you.

 

Number Three: Raph

COWABUNGA DUDE! TOTALLY GNARLY! This fuck aint no legend, pulled my bacon out of the PD’s frying pan during a quick chase. And all it cost me was about 10 real anchovies, pepperoni, marshmallows, peanut butter, meat lover’s pizzas. But man he is a literal walking robo-turtle!

 

Number Two:Simon

Simon say touch your nose. Simon says do a little jig. Simon says pay up front. Simon says DON’T PAY IN 5K Cert Sticks! Simon says I shouldn’t make fun of him. Simon says say thank you for your gear. Simon says……………

 

Number One:ACME

MEEP! MEEP! If anyone has to even ASK why he is on this list, you need to go watch more turn of the century classic toons. Though his gear is absolutely top notch, he lived up to the old ACME brand name on at least 1 occasion. Stupid prototype stun baton blew up something right in my face! That and I wish I had some trids of when, under ORDERS mind you, he had to make a delivery in the certain coyote mascot of AMCE Incorporated costume. Made the sound and everything! SOOOOOOO worth nearly failing a bonding attempt to witness that shit. OH! And you can blame him for a certain Reject running around using paintball cannons, Thank you ACME, and keep those rocket boots a comin! MEEP! MEEP!

 

Honorably Mention: Achilles

YOU ARE A FUCKING HEEL! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOUUUUUU!

City News

News Archives: 9/1/73 - 12/9/73 | 12/10/73 - 12/27/73 | 12/28/73 - 1/07/74 | 1/08/74 - 1/25/74  | 1/25/74 - 2/6/74     02/06/74 - 15/11/74 For all those readers and followers of the Underground Broadcast of the Seattle World News we are sorry to report but do to the recent UCAS restrictions and signal blocking we are unable to broadcast or update any news reports to this website. For those interested in the truth behind the news outages and the reality of what going on in the nation and the world.....please turn on the old AM stations of Mr. Boston, Mr. Vegas, Socrates and Howling Mad the … Read More

Rat Bastards (Seattle PD)

                                                                                          206-555-7788 or 911 for emergencies                                                     Commissioner Wesley Reid                                      Seattle Police Department is currently accepting applications for new officers. Apply in person at One Police Plaza between the hours of 8 AM till 5 PM Monday through Friday. All applicants will have to submit to a physical, mystical and cybernetic scan at time of application. Applications can take up to 3 weeks to be processed, if deemed qualified the … Read More

RIP / ROT IN HELL

This is dedicated to all the warriors of the shadows who have fallen in the line of duty. RIP    Crazy Glue: Killed in the Jackals Lantern by an unknown assailant, Her Murder is still under investigation by SPD  Wallace: HRM member killed in the Scottish invasion of England. Rot in Hell Wallace  Tommy: Member of the Regulators recently killed by SPD    Grimm: Member and Leader of the now defunct Ministry, killed by SPD C-SWAT. During the Deaths Hand Invasion  Mr. Walter O'Neil (Sarge): Member of a group only referenced to as the Post Office, He was killed in … Read More

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