Disclaimer! This list is subject to interpretation and opinion. If you don’t see a name on this list that you think SHOULD be. Please, by all means, post it in the comments below, I dare you! But without further ado, welcome to….
WALDO’S TOP ELEVEN COMIDIC RUNNER NAMES!
Why top eleven? Because I always liked to go many steps too far, like making this list in the first place. No one is exempt or safe from this list, not a one. Why you might ask? Because I’m long dead now and I don’t fear jack shit over here in the Dagobah System. If anyone wishes to get their name off this list, just mail me at P.O. Box Probably a smoking crater somewhere.
And now! Onto…..
Number Eleven : Anthony “Tic-Tac” Dicane
Ok, ok, ok! I know what you’re thinking! “But Waldo, he’s a cop! Not a runner!” Well, the sorry chummer is officially on my old team’s roster by now, so he already dreked up… Tic Tac patty wack give this dog a bone, cause that old kid ain’t goin home. But we do have to throw this dog a bone, he is still alive and hasn’t mucked up any IMPORTANT phone calls yet. But being as loyal as a well trained dog, he’ll go far, now if only he could learn to find the newspaper….
Number Ten: Sixx & Seven
Why’s Sixx afraid of Seven? Cause Seven Eight Nine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA……… Why is no one laughing?
Number Nine: Simba
Hakuna matata cause it’s just the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife! All I can do now is sit here and wait for his Nala to show up some time fo that creepy shifter lovin! Though I haven’t been able to track down Pride Rock, mind helping me out there Simba? Awesome thanks!
Number Eight: Eight Ball
Eight ball, corner pocket! Don’t scratch the eight ball! Oh magic Eight Ball, Did we stand a chance at Fort Lewis? *Shakes Eight Ball* “Don’t count on it.”
Number Seven: Sandman
Bring me a dream, make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen! Give him 2 lips like roses and clovers…. That is all I ever heard in my head when he showed up. That stupidly old song, on loop, in my head. Funny honestly if I do say so myself.
Number Six: Nick
Nick “Fury”… HRM, Irish bastard, dunkered but I repeat myself. I never would have imagined that the leader of the shield would be with the HRM, let alone be friends with my dead ass. Though at least his avenger’s have assembled… mostly to try and get a free meal and booze.
Number Five: Tailspin
I wonder if he’s really a disguised bear shifter, with a water plane, that does smuggling and cargo shipping with a plucky little sidekick…. Only time will truly tell….
Number Four: Casper
Casper the friendly ghost, he’s the friendliest he could be. Go on up and give him a hug, or ask him to make you into a ghost like him. It’ll work out great! You can trust me, I’d never lie to you.
Number Three: Raph
COWABUNGA DUDE! TOTALLY GNARLY! This fuck aint no legend, pulled my bacon out of the PD’s frying pan during a quick chase. And all it cost me was about 10 real anchovies, pepperoni, marshmallows, peanut butter, meat lover’s pizzas. But man he is a literal walking robo-turtle!
Simon say touch your nose. Simon says do a little jig. Simon says pay up front. Simon says DON’T PAY IN 5K Cert Sticks! Simon says I shouldn’t make fun of him. Simon says say thank you for your gear. Simon says……………
MEEP! MEEP! If anyone has to even ASK why he is on this list, you need to go watch more turn of the century classic toons. Though his gear is absolutely top notch, he lived up to the old ACME brand name on at least 1 occasion. Stupid prototype stun baton blew up something right in my face! That and I wish I had some trids of when, under ORDERS mind you, he had to make a delivery in the certain coyote mascot of AMCE Incorporated costume. Made the sound and everything! SOOOOOOO worth nearly failing a bonding attempt to witness that shit. OH! And you can blame him for a certain Reject running around using paintball cannons, Thank you ACME, and keep those rocket boots a comin! MEEP! MEEP!
Honorably Mention: Achilles
YOU ARE A FUCKING HEEL! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOUUUUUU!