What do we know about the Frog Brothers……well nothing of any real value, honestly I believe that those listed below have officially lost their minds. They are supposedly the last of a proud tradition of Vampire Hunters……really Vampire Hunters, well I can understand hunting the VITAS vampires but are they really that dangerous as to need specialised hunters and ones of the calibre of the five listed below I think not. We have the worlds premier Government Spook in Montgomery, the worlds premier Problem Solver in Charles, the worlds premier Investigator and Bounty Hunter in Rusty and well the Dreaded Deaths Hand General with Maximilian; and we are supposed to believe these five legends simply take holiday from their real work to kill VITAS Vampires; if you believe that I have a bridge to sell you in New York.
So we are left with the ridiculous tale that the Frog Brothers are hunting real Vampires…..yes readers the undead kind, the blood sucking and garlic repulsed vampires of legend; Oh Captain my Captain come help me for I am being stalked by Dracula………Dumb Ass! This is so ridiculous that even the True Demure aren’t jumping on this too report on the lunacy of these reports. Yes readers we have some reports of the five hunting vampires and whats worse…….other creatures of the night and monsters that lurk deep within the shadows. Well I hate to break it to you the only monsters lurking in the shadows are Monty and Captain as they stalk the living and bring a quick and painless death…..They are both legendary Problem Solvers that put the likes of Kindler, Danger, Burn Notice, Warrant and Monsoon to shame; so can’t you blame me for thinking this is yet another sham to excuse the actions of the five and further legalise murder.
Though in doing my do diligence as a reporter I would reach out to some members of the clergy who wished to remain nameless as to not invoke the ire of the Hunters and their Prey, they would go on record as saying “Yes the supernatural does exist and it needs specialised defenders of man to keep the things that go bump in the night at bay.” They go onto say that true hunters are born and they have the gift, a gift that allows them to defeat the true evils within the world. When asked if these clerics aided the hunters they would state not directly, but they have supplied them with the basins of holy water, and communion wafers by the box load. They feel that vampire hunting is something that all clergy should accept as the normal and when you see a beaten and bloody hunter tear into your church to fill up water guns with holy water…..well after that you become a believer.
These clerics that hail from many religions and denominations state that a number of times they have witnessed these hunters come into there churches in disarray and rushed the holy water basins…..they state that Catholic Churches are normal targets for these thieves of the water and they are normally in a quite a hurry; one of the priests states he remembers when Monty, Helsing and Captain came busting in during Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, ransacked the holy water basins and even began filling up gallon jugs and empty soda bottles from the Baptismal Pool. They were covered in blood and seemed wounded, they left a bloody mess and prior to leaving Captain ran to the alter and snagged all the communion wafers and wine before leaving a stack of bloody twenty dollar bills behind and simply apologised saying they needed it more than the congregation did……well one can say that was quite rude.
I have dozens of stories that revolve around churches being ransacked for the holy water and members of the clergy actually convinced that they are true blue vampire hunters that I am actually starting to believe the tale. You see the majority of my reports are coming from within the Catholic Church and even Pope John Paul the Second would decree that all public churches keep a a few gallons of holy water, boxes of blessed wafers, a few spare bottles of sacramental wine and of course a few blessed crucifixes on hand……simply to supply the Vampire Hunters when they arrive and to simply ignore their presence and aid the hunters with needed supplies and blessings.
Though if you believe that the undead actually exist simply because the Catholic Church has a doctrine on the record from 1980 forward and each subsequent Pope has added to this and even offers the Hunters sanctuary in the event they are being chased by a vampire. Now if any other religion was promoting these men I might be inclined to believe them for a split second, but this is the Catholic Church and they are not known for their forward thinking, telling the truth and well not being duped into believing that the supernatural was real…..for crying out loud they still perform exorcisms and their top priest in that field is good old Father Malone known simply as the Exorcist or Loa and for his show “Father Malone Mysteries” so understand I am seriously trying to keep an open mind.
According to those interviewed and I am talking about some seriously old relics here white hair, wrinkled faces and having been a priest for multiple decades. They claim that Montgomery, Charles and Baldwin are the best of the best and the last off their kind stating that Montgomery and Baldwin hail from the Helsing Guild and Charles from the Belmont Guild; while Rusty and Maximilian must be newer members and as well carry the special spark needed to survive the dangers of the undead. Okay seriously am I writing a B-Rated movie script here or is this simply the plot to a really bad movie. I continue to approach this article with an open mind, and let me tell you those grandfatherly priests are quite convincing and they speak of times they looked after the hunters and tended to their wounds, wounds that no human could inflict on another, covered in bile, blood and gore…..well that kinda sounds like the tales of Montgomery and Charles from the FIP though I digress and delved a bit deeper into the claims and reports.
I tried to reach out to the owners of the said properties that the hunters performed their “Godly Work at” and low and behold, the buildings where gone and replaced, the owners either died or where to terrified to be interviewed and refused to speak with me or my staff. I tried to speak with the detectives and they couldn’t recall any specific cases or details of any case regarding murder or occult behaviour; though they do recall many still open cases of arson and even one where a building exploded……though no one was injured or lost their lives during these freak accidents that they all have been ruled, even though many of the arson cases still remain open today and are long since cold.
If any of this makes you suspicious than it should, the clergy remember the hunters and the locations of there hunts, those involved are to scared to speak or dead, the police are clueless and it’s always stated that the hunters where covered in blood…….hmmm sounds like a cover up on an epic scale, not like the Catholic Church hasn’t covered up things in the past and have gone on the record as stating they are the most powerful gang in the world. Who needs problem solvers and people willing to do anything…..well gangs do and it looks like we have found our connection here, it’s not Vampires as they don’t exist….well the undead kind at least, no they need people willing to remove threats to the church and it’s continued hold on the people through a false religion.
Science has disproved everything and even threatens the Churches hold on the masses and who better than some legalised church murderers…..Vampire Hunters to keep the people afraid and loyal, through in some graphic imagery and some haunting tales from the beloved elders of the clergy and you have a recipe for devotion. The church embarks on a tale of the devils minions and how Satan lurks behind every shadow and we need to protect our very mortal souls from the Demons, Devils, Witches, Werewolves, Mummies, and of course Vampires and who better to protect the masses than anointed and blessed hunters that have a spark that marks them as special.
Now thats a movie I would go and see….or a documentary needed to expose the fraud and bring the church to it’s knees, the supernatural does not exist and is nothing to be worried about, what we should be concerned with is why the worlds top operators are working for the Catholic Church and seriously one of them is Jewish, I thought the church disliked the Hebrews for what they did to Jesus; than you have Rusty and well they call him the Jersey Devil and we all know folks from New Jersey are simply evil, rude and well profane, not someone you want working for the church……though he did escape Hell and maybe that devil is reformed, I think not!
So in closing when it comes to the Frog Brothers these five are simply con artists on a grandiose scale that are protected by the Catholic Church for they are they are the true Hand of God……well another comical aspect is Monty, Captain and Jersey Devil are all obsessed with science and don’t have a religious bone in them, and Atlas well he is Jewish and a computer scientist so I doubt he counts as a religious fellow…..for crying out loud he was not even married by a Rabbi, he was married by a Jedi Priest……yes readers he was married by a Jedi Priest and not a Jewish Rabbi, though we are supposed to believe he was officially married by his cousin Rabbi Hershel Meisner when in reality it was by his Great Grandfather Wilhuff Palpatine…..more on that later.
We basically need to accept the fact that the church has been lying to us for years and they are using these Hunters as an excuse to silence those that would crush the church and bankrupt them……I mean seriously we have cyber, magic, immortality and bio replacements; this is all an affront to God and the churches teachings, seriously why are people still believing in religion as science has discredited or disproved religion and showed it to be a giant hoax and yet the people continue to blindly believe. I for one will be proud to become a true atheist and stop the indoctrination done to my family; this article has verified something I have thought for years and that is the church has been lying and they know that religion is dead and they need guilt and fear to keep the masses in line and tithing….well hopefully I can awaken some minds to the idea and hopefully the Frog Brothers are put out of business and behind bars.
Page Written By: Kennith Drummer (UCAS Ledger)
Well with the inclusion of both Bilbo and Bravo to this group I can say that I now feel this to be a joke and someone is messing with everyone, now I am not saying Bilbo or Atlas as he is now being called isn’t a beast in combat but he is way out of his league here…..and don’t get me started with Bravo. I mean you go ahead and tell me that there are a group of specialised paranormal hunters okay I will believe that, you tell me that they go after a special breed of Vampire, Shifter, Ghosts, Zombies and other creatures that go bump in the night…..well I will say are you talking about the Coven; and you say nope a very professional crew and one that goes after things that would give the Coven nightmares…..okay I can believe it as we have no idea what is truly out there, you than tell me who is involved in this crew and I get very scared. Seeing Monty, Captain, Helsing, & Jersey Devil are all God’s among men…….now you tell me that it includes Bilbo and Bravo and okay your just pulling my chain here.
Bilbo maybe he could be explained as he is family with Monty and Charles, he is no slouch in battle and is good friends with both Helsing and the Jersey Devil…..Bilbo might be out of his league with these legends, but it could be good training and experience for the King of the New Breed; though Bravo now he is truly a fish out of water with just Bilbo let alone the Living Legends of Monty, Captain, Helsing and Jersey Devil…..I mean they are in class all of there own….and Bravo is still in nursery school, at least Bilbo is in elementary school in comparison.
Though according to a few of my friends contacts this is fully legit and it as well includes another individual from something called “Dawn Guard” and is someone we all know very well….his name now is General Tullius Kissinger aka the Gargoyle. Okay now something smells fishy here, Gargoyle and Bilbo don’t work on the same team, let alone get along outside of family gatherings; seeing Bilbo married his daughter City and forced the two to be civil with each other….again if this is true than Bravo is way out of his league with the inclusion of Dawn Guard member Gargoyle………okay my head is spinning at the thought of a movie including everyone on this list, yes even the goofy side kick Bravo.
Yes my readers Disney Executive Mary Sue has promised an animated movie with the Pale Rider, the Invincible One, Out Of Time, Dark City, the Listener, Atlas and Bravo…..Listener is yet another title held by the Gargoyle whatever that means and she decrees that it will be his name within the movie, not to be confused with Harvard Little aka the Listener. This movie is slated to come out on October 31st 2075 with a entire line of toys, clothing, costumes, TV shows, and comic books along with other merchandise……this release will coincide with the new season of the Pale Rider cartoon and the Invincible One series getting a long awaited reboot……old episodes will be aired throughout the summer and early fall on Channel 184 within Seattle or on the Retro Cartoon Network starting on Memorial Day Weekend 2075……they will be a marathon of the all the crossover episodes that will include fir the first time ever the un aired season of Dark City that will begin airing at 00:00 on Memorial day and run for over twenty four hours.
I am still wondering how Bilbo and Bravo fit into this roster but seeing they are very popular with viewers and they have trended well, Mary Sue feels their inclusion into this series will a well allow for the introduction of characters like Old Man, Polaroid, Zombie, Taffy, and Director into their franchise and thus introduce these characters prior to their show airing on Thanksgiving Weekend 2075 called “Men In Black (Technocracy Files)” it will as well include Striker, Slicer, Dump Shock, Edison, Crazy Ed, Blacksmith, Curmudgeon, Rabbi, Spacer, Mr. Moxy, Pong, Piranha, DC, Samael, Mr Black, Pong and Schoolmaster along with a host of other characters and will follow the exploits of the bumbling idiocies of Rookie Special Agents Pinball and his more serious senior Special Agent Knuckles……this is going to be a hoot s it contains all my favourite characters, I do hope there is a line of merchandise as well as I would love to collect them all; though Mary Sue did state that there will be a interactive video game series for the upcoming shows, a multi-player online role playing game and as well a tabletop RPG……not to mention a collectable card game that will be released on Good Friday alongside the introduction comic books and graphic novels; I have all mine on pre-order I hope you do as well as these will be a hot seller.
To say I am excited about the upcoming cartoon, comics and the release of the “Adventures of Dark City” cartoon will be an amazing way to spend the holiday weekend……though the “Adventures of Dark City” will be rated M for mature for adult language…..I heard they drop the “F” bomb allot in this show, as well for graphic and violent content, this is a oddity for Disney as they like to keep things family friendly; fans of both the Pale Rider and Invincible One will be in luck as Mary Sue announced that they are going to break ground on a new theme park called the “Techno Files” and it will be a joint adventure park that will be themed around the Pale Rider, Invincible One, Dark City, and the Men In Black cartoons from all generations of the programming including a themed resort this is expected to be open in the summer of 2078.
So back to my original point, if this group is real well I give TWO THUMBS UP seeing I just love the Pale Rider, Captain and the Jersey Devil…..I also love Bilbo and Gargoyle; Helsing is not my all time favourite but he is damned cool with that crazy driving and I guess I could grow to like Bravo as he is the new kid on the block. Though I am glad this is just a promotional page for the upcoming cartoons and movies seeing I would hate to see any of my hero’s injured or killed by those nasty paranormal creatures…..leave that to the Coven as nobody cares what happens to Set and company.
Over Joyed Super Fan Tommy
Meet the Hunters
Montgomery Hilliard (Monty):
Another group, another Palpatine entry. Oh wait, they are all Palpatine’s by blood or marriage. Well, almost all – just another example of what happens when a family reunion goes wrong. A subset goes out and starts looking for something to hunt, and oh did they find some serious prey. Enter one of the most dangerous runners history has seen – after all nobody likes being outdone by their older brother. Monty here is dedicated to the reputation he has built and has even gone as far as to wear an Indiana Jones coat to boost his appeal to the younger audience in order to promote his newest TV show coming out later this year. These “legends” rely on their likenesses to get people to run from…. Ouch… Wait…. What are you…. Ow!!!!! <ahjssdjfklasdjflkasdjfladsfjl…. Signal lost>
Ok – enough of that shit. And no – I’m not a Technocrat, I’m just tired of the bullshit. He will be fine, but no more lies. This shit is real and everyone needs to know it. These fuckers save our lives constantly, and according to my grandfather there was a day when the hunters were known to the world. Monty here – if he really is a Hellsing – than we may just be saved. I have to swap machines before the Black Death gets here, but I will be back below.
Charles Belmont (Captain):
Another legendary name from my grandfather’s tales – Belmont. According to him the supernatural were very real. While I won’t give you our names, lets just say he used to live in Oklahoma and in his town he saw and overheard some strange stuff. He once heard the preacher talk to his son about not getting lost in the fridge… Now to most this would be a simple weight control concept, but according to my grandfather someone apparently disappeared and died in this fridge. Anyway, I’m off track, but according to him there were all types and manner of beasts within the world that few ever knew existed. He happened to overhear something called the “Masquerade” and his life got very weird for a few months. You see, these people fight true vampires and werewolves and all other kinds of things. Once you find out they exist, they become a problem for you and the men of the Belmont and Hellsing clans devoted their lives to saving humanity from this very threat. If Captain really is a/the Belmont then his status as the invincible one may be an understatement. The Belmont’s were masters of the leather whip and from what I saw in the footage from the Waterways recently I can say that both Silencer and Captain fit that description. My grandfather said that they all disappeared with the Great Ghost Dance, but if they are back then I am terrified. May we all hope this man and his team can save our souls.
Baldwin English (Helsing):
Now, more than Monty, I believe that Baldwin is likely the original Helsing. Look at the handle for crying out loud! Hunters were supposedly masters of stealth (unless they were just dead) and Baldwin is only known for his driving skills. Seems like a great way to cover up his true skill. This man, from what the legends say, has been hunting vampires for a long time. Given his friends were the Wellerman it is easy to surmise that he likely (like all on this page) has probably been around forever and was given the original fountain of youth serum. People in movies and tv shows don’t understand the types of powers the true supernatural have, for if they did they would realize that being able to drive fast until sunrise would be the most important skill anyone could have. Some of these supernaturals, according to the stories of my grandfather, could fly and change shape. Even the vitas vampires can become mist, so its no surprise. According to my college class, every era of magic is weaker than the last. Its simple to imply that the paranormal creatures that magic dealt with were also likely stronger, and the timeline these people run on could have been long in the past. I was enthralled as a kid with the stories, but seeing that they may be true is horrifying. Write me off if you will, but heed my warnings anyway!
Rusty Rutherford (Jersey Devil):
Ok, I have to admit that the asshole cop is a bit strange here, but according to the sources I have he is a recent recruit – yeah right. He just hung out on that old ship to hunt whales for no reason. Ask yourself this – if he was fighting whales why would he develop a gun style. Handguns are useless against whales!!!!! Its obvious he was dealing with humans, or something worse. After all, most humans go down to either a sword wound or a gun wound – especially back then! Hell, a papercut could create a deadly infection back then!!!! However, if you were shooting undead you might have to slice them after. Recent pictures from him on patrol show the hint of a non-firearm handle on his right hand side, and that could be a whip! It could be a sword too, but I think that all these people have been trained by Baldwin and Charles in their personal styles to take down the undead. Given this roster, everyone but the trainees is a monster and if they are on the hunt get out of the way. At night we all look like undead after all – and you should be hiding in your home anyway!
Maximilian Yates (Atlas):
Taylor Greenspan (Bravo): Ok – this one is obviously a new recruit. Not only do we know his DOB, but we have records showing his growing up in the hockey world. That said, just like a peach he can over time be cooked perfectly into a pie of destruction. He has gained notoriety within the UCAS military and that’s just with him working alongside these people on the side. While we don’t have any images, video, or true proof about this piece of fruit hanging with these men in this capacity, I have to assume that once he is ripened through training he will be one tough pit to crack. I can only imagine what they do to full time members who don’t have full time+ jobs. It seems that this man also answers the question of how to learn to hunt – the Harbingers are OBVIOUSLY the recruitment ground. After all, everyone here is either a Harbinger or suspected of being a Harbinger (which is basically confirmation at this point Gargoyle!). It would appear that there must be something special about that team and the undead besides Plymouth… Unless… Oh god, I’m ending this here. <disconnected…. Signal lost>
Tullius Kissinger (Gargoyle):
Ow… My head. Screw that guy – where did he go! Eh, who cares; I will get him if he logs on again. Crap – damn profiles are locked. That’s ok, I got back in for the most important one. Here we see good ol’ Detective Kissinger. You know, the guy who runs the Crystal Dragons. Looks like this farce of a group has managed to add him to their roster. No surprise, he seems to follow his son in law like a hawk in order to keep watch over his daughter. Add that to the many groups we didn’t know Gargoyle was a part of and this listing makes perfect sense. After all, its not surprise that a Grandmaster of the Kingsman is within their Airborne Elite Special Forces. In fact, its more likely that he recruited his son in law so that he could assign him dangerous missions for the crown and get him killed. This would release his daughter from the dowry he was forced to pay. We will watch this carefully from our terminals. When it comes to whips and crosses and water guns it honestly doesn’t matter. I have heard rumors that this man carries a mattress spring and embeds it into armored walls by accident!!! The Gargoyle doesn’t need any weapons to fight any manner of beast – he’s the fucking Gargoyle! Possibly also the Listener now, but this is likely a tactic to free up Little from suspicions of being on mission. Never forget rule #1 in the shadows – stay away from Gargoyle unless you want to end up dead. Run away!!!!
<<According to our contacts, this man is one of the remaining founding members of an order of Vampire Hunters called “Dawn Guard” and it seems that Montgomery, Charles and Wesley were as well part of that Vampire Hunting Guild. To answer the above reporter about Montgomery…..yes he is a Hellsing and not just a Hellsing…..but the damned founder of that cursed family. My contact McGowan has had numerous interactions with the Hellsing, Belmont, Dawn Guard guilds and families….including something called the Black Hand; and according to him the Gargoyle is the Listener of that bloody guild. Now he wouldn’t go into to much detail about that order, simply stating that the Hand, Dawn Guard and the Hunter families worked together to rid the world of the undead and the other creatures of the night, he also stated again that all on this page besides Peaches should be avoided at all costs as they are all beyond lethal and highly trained hunters of the supernatural… and if they can defeat elder vampires and werewolves… well no human can and will stand a chance against any of them.
Now I have scene verification of our contacts undead status and his extreme power, though according to my research he has been thwarted numerous times by these Hunters and Wellermen…..yes the Wellermen are basically a cover for the guild known as Dawn Guard, not every Wellermen might be blessed with the gift but all have been trained to fend off the fiends of the night. Now we must update our records on these men and the Wellermen to include their status as Dawn Guard…oh according to McGowan the Technocrats are quite real, though the ones on this page are simply frauds and not the real Technocracy……now he also states “They might be frauds to the real Technocracy, but they are far more dangerous than the real Technocracy…..they understand their tactics, use their equipment, and have killed more of that agency than Vampires……well the Jury’s still out on that one.”
So basically this page and the Wellermen need to be monitored and updated as more information comes to light, yes these Hunters have the gift and are true blue Vampire Hunters….they look at the VITAS breed as nothing but a speed bump and have removed far greater evils than VITAS……like our contact and his allies, yes I have seen the Eye of Hell as well as the Ebb and Flow of time and before I am to become food for our contact and his kin, I will be reporting on the doings of both the Hunters/Wellermen and the Undead>>
Wesley Burns (Burnsy): Ah, Burnsy, the unofficial official Harbinger. Just like the others who were “fiction”. Just another dangerous old man working under THE Old Man to dispatch the enemies of the Technocracy. After all, really, do you think the Technocracy (of which all these people are members) would fight against the supernatural? What would a bunch of government people even do to them? They just spread fear of their capabilities as adepts throughout and use these tales to cow us before their might. Burnsy here is so feared within the shadows that the mention of his name has been know to send runners, well, running from every generation including the Originals! This man is truly a member of the Criminal Elite and is not to be messed with. Nobody wants to be put on Burn Notice. After all, we aren’t Jeffrey Donovan and Bruce Campbell – we don’t get to live once being burned. We just die. This man is known to be a monster with a harpoon and carries wrist rockets. He is a member of the Sword Council within the Kingsman and if it isn’t already obvious, he is likely a founder of the President’s Men and a carrier of the dreaded lightsaber. It is rumored that he has other weapons, but we don’t have footage to support that and unlike some, I am a REAL reporter and only report on facts. Fuck you hunters – you have been outed and we will keep adding to this page when we find your accomplices!
Alvin Webster (
Chronic, Rampage): Look guys – it is another not! We have not Alexander, not Curator, and now not Rampage! You can see where this goes – another great guy loved in Arizona. Oh wait, they are trying a new angle! This one is a seasoned pirate (such an improvement over an enforcer) and current Navy Seal team commander. Put your faith in this one guys, he is totally who he says he is… NOT! So, lets talk about Rampage here as a hunter. Honestly, makes sense. He has been working alongside Charles and Max-y-boy here since his days in the hand and now he needs a side gig too. He just went ahead and got clearance from his old boss, the not pope (see the theme), and when he was given clearance he had himself added to this roster. I can only hope and pray that we don’t make the same mistake and put him in charge of a country. Bad enough Alexander is in charge of the UCAS at the moment. When it comes to hunting, the truth is that Rampage outgrew this profession some time ago – if it ever really existed. He moved on to hunting the most fearsome predators that exist among us – humans. He hunted them for Alexander in the hand, and now he hunts them for Alexander in the Navy. Just another great example of the nonsense we are willing to put up with because bio and cyber make it nearly impossible to kill anyone these days.