The Technocrats 

M.I.B

Executive Director Wilhuff Palpatine (Big Brother): Well well well, what do we have here?  Why yes, the biggest conspiracy that the shadows have ever seen.  The premier dingo shit of the horse shit himself, Mitch-y-Boy.  What will he appear in next?  First the UCAS, then Stage 5, a trip to the Harbingers.  Then a movie staring him and his band of merry men in the star wars universe (great acting by the way, you guys gave Hamill and Guinness a run for their money – though trying to silence it was a mistake).  Now he is in the Technocracy.  I can’t even imagine what could be next.  He obviously doesn’t belong in England based on his attire last night at the palace, but I hear there may be a horse ride in store for him.  That is, if he doesn’t bend all of our minds and will to forget about it.  Now it is strange, he believes and runs the Technocracy yet turned down the ability to be governor and run a state.  To the untrained this would be a sign of good faith in the system.  To those who know better they will see the true plot.  There is another member of this order that is vying for a high level position, and will therefore be able to hand out spots like candy to those they want in charge.  If you are wondering who will be running the CAS if the election goes the way of the Techies here then look no further.  Even the future president and vice president if they have their way will be nothing more than a pawn.  To think people thought he could change.  Bullshit!  Zebras never change their stripes and mitches don’t change their shapes until they blow their load.  And Mitch – you are full of it!

Special Director Montgomery Hilliard (Pale Rider Marlboro): Special Director huh?  Only of the pale moon light.  That’s right folks, we have a tv/movie character here, the famous Pale Rider!  Marlboro himself helps run the Technocracy!  He infiltrates society with his fame and then molds the minds of the kids and teens with his shows and movies.  His boss adds in the mind control and then they send it off.  You ever wonder why he can get in anywhere?  It isn’t because he is skilled, it’s because our brains are programmed to ignore him unless he is in his old uniform!  This old bastard plays at the hero while being one of the worst villains in the country.  He has “worked for” aka ran virtually every agency that exists within our government, and has contacts in any that he hasn’t had his own hand in.  If he doesn’t know someone in there, then one of his teammates is certain too.  He is part of the Harbingers and Railroad Elite Death Squad and is apparently a hunter, whatever the hell that means (our records aren’t clear on that just yet).  Also, we discovered his original name thanks to his Harbingers write up.  Turns out the mascot is literally him – go figure.  While not as dangerous as Mitch up top, this man is no slouch in any situation and should be avoided at all costs.  As far as his public appearances go, we just have to hope the Silencer does his thing and shuts up, otherwise we will all be nothing more but zombies to his control.

Asst. Director Alva Palpatine (Blacksmith): So the Blacksmith forges on ahead, following in his father’s footsteps, behind the bitch protégé they have both been raising as of late.  Don’t think for a second that our Senator/Presidential Candidate is actually in charge of his own office, but I will get to that later.  What can be said about good ol’ Alva here?  Sadly not too much.  He stays off the radar never quite basking in the limelight.   He makes sure his operations go off without a hitch and unnoticed, but the reality is that he does very little.  Otherwise, we would know more about him.  Never as successful as his brother Ben, never as well known as his father, and never as well-known as his grandchild Alva is just, well, mediocre.  That’s ok with him though, since to be exceptional requires effort and work.  Who wants to put that in?  Easier to run things quietly behind the scenes with nobody watching or expecting much from you.  Every team needs its shitty operators to leave behind when important things are going on.  After all, why do you think he was left home when the battle of Kentucky happened?  All of the important and big name operators were out and about.  The important people were there like Mitch, Packman, Asbury and Striker.  Hell even Legend and Bilbo showed up.  Where was this lazy piece of shit?  Hiding at the Waterways “running” I-Corp.  Sure – cause Pong would let anyone else touch the terminals.  If you see Alva just throw a donut his way and you will be able to scoot right past.

Asst. Director Reverdy Jamestown (Handler): Good ol’ Uncle Reverdy, or should we say “dad”.  Our contact heard little Bobby screaming at an intern that he was between her and her father.  Busted bitch – you should watch your mouth if you want things to be a secret.  Kind of like all the idiots that plaster their bodies with the images of what they serve – it has been seen.  We know what bands you listen to, what movies you watch, and many of the secret orders you serve (lightsaber boxes don’t help either…).  Anyway, lets talk about the Jamestown shot caller.  A technocrat?  I can see that – after all he installed his brother as the president of the CAS and reports say that he seems involved in one of the agents’ presidential campaign.  It’s almost comical that the definition of the agency is for voting, and yet it is full of people who rig elections and use dirty tactics to win.  Reverdy himself has taken it upon himself to personally terrorize the world with his own brand of evil.  He helped England disobey the surrender order back in 2018 and has been helping run one of the biggest crime families in the world since as long as written records exist in this country.  According to one of our contacts he is a part of another group that has been around even longer, but you will have to read his work to find that out – I haven’t had the chance yet.  Life rules around Hardware are simple, stick a big magnet to the wall and run away – he has so much cyber that he won’t be able to follow.

Asst. Director Arthur Rummy (Director): Well now we know the true connection to the government for the Outlaw’s Five.  Don’t think that McKeen got elected because he is a Jamestown, it only happened because the Technocracy deemed him fit.  After all of the “UCAS Loyalist” presidents, as they would put it, they decided to finally intervene.  They placed the God Father in the top seat of the country thanks to Rummy’s recommendation and influence.  After letting democracy and due process occur for decades, they have decided that we are too awake and have begun to delve into “solving problems” once more.  The Mummy Here?  He just dusted off the tomes sitting on his organ jars and put his old plays back into motion.  Place a president in the US (now he has to also place an agent in that spot for the CAS) and begin to take over again.  Now that they are involved this country will be one unit again much too quickly – after all none of these operators sit on their laurels.  I hope the CAS has enjoyed its freedom, for this insolent child is going to take all of what he sees as his toys and place them how he wants.  After all, the second in command of the President’s Men and Post Office more than has the ears of Big Brother and his word is final in this order.  No – order is too nice.  This cult of shit eating mind controlling bastards.  That’s more like it.

Chief Of Staff Dover D Barton Sr. (Polaroid): The chief of staff and deadly camera assassin Polaroid is here.  Don’t be fooled by his fun loving song regarding Pac-Man, this cold blooded scaly piece of trash is one of the premier assassins and cleaners of nearly every agency in the world.  At the royal wedding the foolish Kingsmen outed themselves, and this man had one of their blades strapped to his hip.  To think there is another dragon that openly joins groups that are supposed to protect the people.  He is nothing more than a Railroad death squad member and now it has been outed that he has continued the brainwashing of his brother to keep us all uninformed and complacent.  Anything he says is through the silver tongue of the serpent and records even show he was one of the people involved in training the man in white to lie.  This man is a beyond legendary spy and can gather intel through his own actions or his contacts.  If he doesn’t like what he finds out he simply shreds whoever was involved and moves on as if nothing happened.  Don’t believe the lies of the Horsemen, for nearly everyone on this list is one of them, including their men in black division.  This is the holy grail of secrets for this group and now that we have found them we will never let go until all of the lies have been exposed and they stop trying to control this county continent world.

Asst. Chief of Staff Albert Schwartz (Mr. Moxy): Ah, another crack at good old Mr. Moxy – or should I say Sixx.  I would call him a Sixx killer, but that could be confusing.  Though make no mistake you should be much more afraid of this asshat than the first son.  Tommy boy needed someone to botch his execution.  This guy manages to avoid them completely.  I guess there are some benefits to having one of the premier problem solvers as your brother. What can be said about this horseman?  For one he seems to have a new toy.  We got some footage of it in Kentucky.  It’s a shotgun that looks like it shoots something on the level of a vehicle grade plasma cannon.  IT gives a little pushback, then he pumps and shoots again.  Not sure how it doesn’t overheat, but man does it look nasty.  If you thought pea shooters were this gunslingers game you are wrong.  It appears he has a love for shotguns too.  It’s actually quite interesting.  You see, according to my contacts a bunch of these fuckers disappeared for a week and there was quite the “to do” about it in the runner world.  According to some of my sources even some of the power players were getting nervous and worried.  Then, as if an oven timer went off, they all just appeared again.  Most of them seem to be sporting new weapons and skills.  Moreover, they are all together constantly and are extremely close.  Hell, they all pretty much joined the Harbingers right at the same time.  It is now clear that they were all vetting and training each other for this order.  We have a nightmare on our hands here and none of the operators on the street noticed.  More on this later, this profile is getting long and I don’t want to be killed due to over exposure.

Asst. Chief of Staff Charles Butler (Captain): If you were looking for corruption, you need look no further than this entry.  Now, as a horseman and problem solver he certainly isn’t out of sorts with this group, but there is a bigger problem.  Its fucking illegal!  As the Chief of Staff for the white house he can’t be active in an agency!  Now, we know most people don’t follow those rules (hell Mitchy boy is heading the FBI, CIA, NSA, and Homeland for crying out loud!!!), but McKeen is supposedly doing his job.  Supposedly the Freedom Patriots in the White House are being legit.  Yeah right – chickens don’t raise ducks.  You don’t spend decades bucking the system, raping it from behind and attacking it from the front to all the sudden turn over a new leaf.  That’s about as likely as the Professor becoming a legitimate runner!!!  This is just the proof we needed to get started working on an impeachment case.  All we have to do is find this Technocracy in the files from Stage 5 that we have and the case is over.  In documenting all government agencies these morons have also doomed themselves.  Keep an eye out for the news on this one.  When we find it, well, it will be everywhere.  Fuck you captain!  While you are waiting why don’t you sail your ship into a whirlpool!

Security Chief Elmer Canterbury (Curmudgeon): Well well well, look who we have here… The scumbag of street trash.  The grouchiest of the grumps.  The fullest of septic tanks – the Curmudgeon himself.  To only call this man an ass would be like calling Alexander the Great a simple president – though hopefully the two share their status on breathing sooner than later.  Am I surprised that this garbage is here with the rest of his ilk?  Nope!  In fact, most of this roster is Horsemen.  Obviously, this entire organization is just another representation of these assholes.  A way for them to increase their hold over other top operatives without having to grant them the title of being a Horseman.  After all, many of these operatives are useful and yet still not worthy of the title.  This allows them to increase control over their peons like Director Rutherford and Governor Taffer just to name two.  We already knew that Wilhuff owns Mr. Black, which should also worry everyone since he is (still) the Secretary of Defense.  Even worse, if the election goes terribly wrong their bitches will be the ones running the CAS!  Both the Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates sit on this roster!  And who “runs their security” in all this.  You know, the one who controls where they are allowed to go, who they see, and what they do?  That’s right, this asshole.  As they would have said back in the old days as they call them, “Illuminati Confirmed”.

Asst Security Chief Rusty Rutherford (Jersey Devil): Ah yes, the Jersey Devil.  I’m well acquainted with this scumbag detective.  His only matches in terms of douchebagery are the two assholes from the Denver Guard Doyle and Luna.  You wanna know why Rusty’s case record is, well, not so rusty?  Simple, he kills people on his docket and then finds locals to frame.  Its as ludicrous having the Digger run missing persons, oh wait… Oh holy shit!!!!  Ok, this conspiracy runs so much deeper than the Seattle PD.  Looks like that was just a testing ground for the Technocracy to see if the people would accept the rats running the cheese maze.  They have placed full on criminals in every major law enforcement of the sovereign cities!!!  Now it all starts to make sense.  The technocracy is known mostly for subjugating information and hiding it from the people.  It makes perfect sense that they manipulate law enforcement from the bottom all the way up.  The conspiracy simply starts with Rutherford and his masters above him.  If you control the FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland, State Militias, and local law enforcement you can hide anything you want because nothing will ever get to the media.  If you thought this guy was a good cop and hat was why he is running the marshals, then you are dead wrong!  He is just continuing his work of corruption and manipulation.  Don’t trust any of the cops, they all work for the Technocracy.  Everyone works for the Technocracy, we just don’t know it!

Director of Digital Security Jeffery Copper (Pong): With this member being known, we have now gone full circle.  We already knew that the rebels had major ties to England (if you didn’t then watch the royal wedding again – look for those who were allowed to wear blades near the king and queen…..), but this just makes it confirmed and obvious.  The man who revolutionised the Steel Legion’s computer systems and equipment sits as a Director on this order – and I wouldn’t believe the titles, they can change at the drop of the hat.  We have recordings of operatives joking about which agency Marlboro is running that day!  With this member we now have absolute proof and verifiable intel that the Technocracy has infiltrated not just the UCAS and the CAS (and if you didn’t know they were in the CAS take a look at the several members of the Texas Elite and Louisiana 501^st here), but they have made it into England.  This means they have likely also penetrated the Caribbean seeing how many of these members are Harbingers and so is Governor Pilgrim.  In fact, since we now know that the Lord of War is very much alive, we can surmise that his faked death was a move by the masterminds here to manipulate Ralph into having one of his deep operatives of death take over a country.  I’m not sure what they have over his head to stop him from taking back the country, but it is strong enough that the masters here can be in the same room with him and he says absolutely nothing!  Even the leaders of countries can’t ignore them.  Rumours on the net say that the Buckingham Palace disaster was nothing more than a show of power from Wilhuff and Dover as a retort for being relegated to the outside during the wedding.  Notice the King and Queen magically disappeared for a few weeks after.  Makes you wonder what type of brainwashing they underwent and what we are in for because of it…

Asst Director of Digital Security Sid Malone (Dump Shock): Time for another of the rebel scum running our entire world behind the scenes – or not so behind the scenes now!  Dump Shock here is well known for rigging and manipulating elections.  You think his brothers won the elections in Louisiana?  Ha!  Between his “customising” the ballets and his leader and master Willhuff manipulating the minds of the people in bayou state there was never a chance that they would lose control.  I know there have been vehicles sighted with the moniker of “UFF” down there.  I haven’t the slightest clue as to what that is, but you can be sure it is just an other subset of the secret police fighting force of the Technocracy.  If you thought the election for UCAS president was legit – or that the election for the CAS election would be legit – then think again.  Afterall, how do you explain two senator being elected without any actual campaign appearances?  I’ll tell you how, by your votes not mattering!  Oh and look, both of them are on here too.  Coincidence?  I think not!  You wanna know what a real dump shock is?  It’s the feeling this asshole will get when he is on the can taking a number two and reading this.  Onto the next world destroyer, and boy is he a doozy.

Asst Director of Digital Security Kingsley Quinn (DC): Ah yes, another Technocrat, I mean President’s Men, I mean a Kingsmen, I mean a Bounty Hunter… Fuck it – here is another corrupt member of the Technocracy who has his claws in more organizations and elite units that you can shake a stick at.  The worst part – there are orders he is likely a part of that aren’t listed.  After all, there aren’t any Kingsmen and President’s Men who aren’t also part of the Sentinels.  Its like a fuckin orgy – just pass around killing techniques and bend over.  Hell, it looks like even the Crystal Dragons and the Railroad are getting in on this with bringing in and sharing operatives.  Its all just a part of the power scheme, and that is where this piece of trash fits in.  They say that the majority leader in the Senate has the most power in Washington (don’t worry, he is a technocrat too), but they are wrong.  The politicians may have the power on paper, but the newscasters and the media truly hold the cards.  Who they support and give time to is who gets elected.  Hell, DC here can king make anyone into getting elected and either smooth over or rile up the people for any policy that is passed.  These assholes recently showed just how bad everything is with Director Palpatine using this bastard to get the country to shutdown.  They claim that there were national security issues, but if you look all the civil outrage happened AFTER they shut the place down.  Oh, and don’t be a sheep and believe that they had “advanced knowledge”.  The flash mobs themselves didn’t have advanced knowledge so neither did these shitheads.  There is a bright side though.  I can pass on the way to know that a technocrat is trying to pull the wool over your eyes.  How to know when they are spinning something to hide the truth.  How to know when they are running shenanigans.  It’s simple – it’s when they breath.  Worry not my fellow citizens, for when I am silenced by them someone will take my place.  Don’t let my eventual loss be in vain.

Director of Media Relations Wesley Taffer (Scimitar): Well hello there Governor Taffer.  What’s that you say?  Just a simple politician, and one of the only southerners to truly run elections.  I suppose that’s half true.  Afterall, he runs elections – just not truly.  If you think that the reason he wins is because the people like him then you are full of alligator jerky and may want to switch back to kibble – it’s probably safer than what comes out of the waters under his watch.  If you ask what proof do I have, the answer is nothing concrete.  The Technocracy doesn’t leave concrete evidence.  What I do submit to you is that the lack of evidence is what proves it.  Every election has hiccups and issues which get found and ironed out throughout the process.  Well, except for two.  Former President Davis, who has now been ousted from his position twice by this organization, and Governor Taffer.  Magically both of those elections always seem to go without a hitch.  In fact, they are so “perfect” that they have another commonality – they often have no opponent.  Why?  That’s as simple as pie – nobody bothers because without a fair shake they can’t overcome the machine of the Technocracy.  Come on people, between Dump Shock and Pong the machines are rigged beyond recognition and then the boss up top just brain dances the populace into believing they voted.  Even the opponents think they truly ran.  That’s actually rather interesting, given that the Southern Presidential Election is going on now, and the numbers are magically in the positive for a new candidate with virtually no experience – and for some reason this seasoned politician is second on the ticket.  Yes, nothing is going on.  Everything is roses.  Hey, isn’t that a pig out the window?  Yes – and it’s holding a scimitar.  No wonder companies like Disney have so much pork in the bills.  Everything starts at the top afterall.  Now the Technocracy will control both the North and the South.  We the people need to do something and rise up!

Agent Maximilian Yates (Atlas):

Agent Taylor Greenspan (Snickers): Well, this clears up everything that we have suspected.  It explains it all.  We have a true monster here.  Don’t believe me?  Remember, the Technocracy never does anything without a test.  What experiment is he benefitting from?  Why, the successful experiment he hangs around with.  This man is clearly a monster in sheep’s clothing.  After all, when the siege of DC happened this man was the most impressive, far more than all the others on this list who were present.  With a father like the Jackal and grandparents like the Accountant and the Mayor it is obvious that this man has been trained by birth.  He is but a second coming of his friend TJ and has been trained by the best of the best.  He hides it, but based on the familial nature of the orders it is obvious that Snickers is a member of the Trio of Evil.  That’s right, he is likely a member of some combination (or all) of the Crystal Dragons, The Sentinels, the President’s Men, and the Kingsmen.  This time, since the completion of the first project, virtually everyone is playing down his skill and calling him “idiot” or “stupid”.  This legend has been underestimated by all of his enemies and continues to outshine his elders.  His cover of “playing hockey” is his week point.  It is a terrible story, even worse than being a wage slave.  More believable, but pathetic nonetheless.  If he were as dumb as they claim then he wouldn’t be welcomed by the king in the palace or granted a noble title.   Its obvious that he and his close friends Max and Tony are all sparring partners, so you should assume that he is beyond skilled and virtually untouchable.  Proceed with caution and only send the best of the best unless you are looking for a new body bag.  Be warned – this is the devil incarnate.  Nobody could be as dumb as they claim, make the mistakes they claim, and still be a Horseman and Technocrat.  Nobody here is simple or easy.  Just run!

Agent Tullius Kissinger (Gargoyle): Ah yes, the mighty Gargoyle.  We are all made to believe that nobody can tell this man what to do.  Well – its obvious we know at least one that can now.  His name – Willhuff Palpatine.  Lets look at this supposed proud warrior and how his involvement with these scumbags has destroyed what was once an incredible legacy – though we now know it was all a lie.  Imagine its 2073 and you have one of your offspring’s offspring poised to be able to make an impact into the political scene.  You have already contacted and informed Colonial that there is a runner that he should promote, but he doesn’t want to deal with this individual unless they are relatively famous.   Hm… how do you make someone famous when they have done nothing to deserve it?  Simple, use your people.  Take a look at your roster and pick the guy who is beyond famous.  I don’t just mean well known – most of these people fit that bill.  No.  Pick the most famous, best known guy off the most famous and best known team to make him into a big deal.  Little Garbaby here was told to chase after and complain about the Harbingers and especially their “leader” (if you don’t consider Willhuff in charge of them too) so that they blow up on the streets by his boss Big Brother and put his tiny tail between his legs.  Then everything else can be propelled off of that.  After all, are you going to tell me that a little newbie runner avoided both Director Mitchell (Grand Master of the Kingsman and Leader of the President’s Men) AND the Gargoyle (THE FUCKING GARGOYLE WHAT ELSE NEEDS TO BE SAID)!  How do you avoid a guy who you have been seen with in the same bar that can blow up a ship from line of sight without casting?! And on top of it he marries his daughter and has children with her that are several years old?!  Look at the video from the palace!  This is bullshit and now you ha….. <<Black Death Initiated – Signal Lost>>

Agent Trenton Jamestown (Knuckles): Ah yes – another Jamestown hitman.  What else is new since most of this page is related to him thanks to recent documents.  It seems this man plays “Secret Service” for the former vice president as a way of maintaining his cover.  Don’t be fooled, this man is no normal agent.  He himself is the leader of the MIB department with his deputy and standard setter MIB above.  Anything they want hidden is moved, removed, or erased by this man.  He has been working for this organization for many years and is one of their deep cover agents.  He stays in the Hawaii area prowling for the only group brave enough to fight the Technocracy, the Neon Church.  During his time in the secret service he gained access to the Hawaiian White House and stole invaluable data.  This double dipper also serves the Kingsman and fed them all of the proper citizen’s records.  It is as of yet unknown whether the technocracy is a part of the Kingsman like the Airborn Elite Special Forces or if the Kingsman are just the public division.  Afterall, almost everyone here is of both orders.  Back to Knuckles, this asshole uses whatever method he chooses, and it usually isn’t the prettiest.  It has recently come to our attention that he has been training his nephew Logan Butler-Palpatine as a new member of his group.  Now I’m all for meta-rights, but this is not where it belongs!  Someone needs to put this bastard out of his misery.  Steal his sunglasses and his ego will break.  Then he should be easy enough to remove.

Agent Tudor Yates (Professor): Well now, what a surprise.  The Professor is involved in an illegal and terrifying organization.  I know, nobody saw this coming…  To those twats writing the Kingsman are morons if they think one battle redeems this piece of shit.  This man helped form a government to further the goals of the Technocracy, and when his boss figured out he was just a pawn good ol’ Tudor sent his best friends to their death against Panama and got unlucky that they survived.  Notice they aren’t on here because they aren’t valuable enough (poor War Machine and Dictator).  He thought he would be able to remove the entire High Command aside from himself and assume control.  I’m not sure if we are lucky that didn’t happen (we still have Dictator and War Machine in this world) or not, but for trying to kill all his “friends” he deserves to burn in hell.  What else can we say?  Well, it seems that the next government the Technocracy will be taking over is the UCAS seeing as their members control all of the key positions.  Soon they will control the key positions in the CAS as well.  Looks like England will regain all her colonies, just not publicly.  I would say this asshole should be ashamed of himself, but he hasn’t got a shameful bone in his body. I hope your pharmacy runs out of pain pills.

Agent Gordon Meisner (Frostbite): What comes after the Professor?  Well, a member of the 82^nd of course – where they belong behind the 401^st.  Which one?  Obviously the bright and chipper one!  On a line up including Shelby, Sid, and Herschel you can bet Gordon here fits in just fine.  Though do you know who doesn’t fit in? Elves!  Has anyone else noticed there are only racists in this order!  Not one of them have a single care for anything but genocide!  Naturally Gordon would know all about genocide seeing as he helped reduce the known elven population in Israel to 0!  These are the people running this agency, not to mention many of the governments of the known world!  This Brother’s Grimm makes a sport out of killing anyone he doesn’t like, and that includes his own family.  Reports state that he has been seen stabbing his cousins with his lightsaber when they upset him let alone the regular civilians who just walk past and look at him the wrong way.  Oh and look, a member of the US Elite.  Isn’t it convenient that the agency the technocracy houses itself in nearly every member here is signed up for.  Looks like they used the Post Office as the test case and then thought they found an improvement.  Well – we figured it out and in record time.  Fuck all of you – you all need to be exposed for what you are!

Agent Jamie Surrey-Gunner (Oklahoma Kidd):  Ok – seriously?  You gotta be kidding me.  This is the dumbest story someone has ever tried to sell me.  You might wanna move back to peddling on the street, cause your con game is way lower than you think.  Let me get this straight, magically Alexander’s entire empire crumbles to his feet and he dies by the hand of his fourth and third in command.  What an epic tale.  Meanwhile <insert flashback music> back on the farm, good ol’ Dictator took his weekends to maintain being a beloved mayor, like every other genocidal maniac, and just so happened to have a look alike of his boss as one of his guards – beloved by the people.  Did I mention they were loved?  Beloved and revered.  You know, how they were in Europe.  Then all the sudden the guy dies and now the world “remembers” there is another one.  Cause that happens.  Oh and this guy, and most of his buddies, are all part of this order. Uh huh.  Ok, stop rubbing your two brain cells together, you might damage them and they don’t look like they are in good shape.  Let me tell you what really happened.  There was something that Willhuff wanted out in France.  Then there was something else in Germany, and all the sudden there was stuff he wanted everywhere.  So, he dispatched his agents and created the Intelligence Officer’s dream.  A set of countries where you can do whatever you want and its still legal, and the worse you do the more you are “loved”.  Then, when they were tired of running a huge government (translated as: needed to destabilize the world economy to rupture politics) they had it collapse.  Except everyone in it would be executed, so they staged it to make some of the officers look like heroes and have the two worst die at their subordinates hands.  And look – we bought it!  We bought it so hard that we made Alexander the Secretary of State!  I can’t anymore.  I need a drink. Ghhghdfjlkhwejkflhwlwf …. <Signal Lost>

Agent Adolf Gunner (Mayor): Well now, we have the beloved Mayor from above.  This man is just a poor and innocent soul caught in the middle of a terrible ring of evil.  Yeah, and I think Captain has another bridge to Europe to sell you.  This evil piece of trash is worthless – which is why he works for the special forces of the Technocracy: The Harbingers/Railroad Death Squad.  What?  You didn’t notice that twelve seconds after the collapse of the Hand he went running to one of his pupil’s strongholds?  *Pop* – That was your bubble bursting.  What?  They don’t seem like Technocracy operatives?  Look.  When the Technocracy have a problem they reach for their street thugs to eradicate everything. After all, who would expect that a loud and messy strike from street thugs would be traced to this organization.  The smoke and mirrors are in full force here.  Speaking of smoke and mirrors, this guy is apparently a ninja!  I can’t even imagine him in full ninja garb without laughing.  And don’t forget, the military branch he serves is “completely legit”.  That’s why its #’s 2 & 3 are in this order.  Sorry US Elite – you have been busted too.  Who do you grab when you need a scape goat?  Why, the US Military!  The last time these people needed a cover up they used the FIP serum that these guys likely made as a reason to imprison and use other members of the fountain club.  More on that later, but just know you can’t trust this bastard!

Agent Festivus Jamestown (Big Kahuna): Ah yes, what else would you celebrate in an island like Hawaii that has changed hands more times than a $10 whore – Festivus of course!  What? You say you have heard that one?  Well, when you elect someone to being a Vice President the jokes stick around forever.  Seeing that this guy is essentially Captain’s goblin its unsurprising that he would be on this roster.  Yes, you see this man and Captain were the test for a much bigger political plot – the Technocracy’s takeover and assimilation of the South.  Now now, don’t act so surprised.  We have already identified that these people don’t do anything without a test case.  Hell, to make sure their boss would be safe they sent his protégé to see if the world would accept a “redeemed” traitor in their street team.  There is a test case and proof before they do anything, and this man was simply part of the test for a project we are just seeing come to fruition now.  They did the same with their Stage 5 through the form of hacker groups back in the 1900’s and early 2000’s.  Never be surprised, just simply adapt and pray you aren’t on their radar.

Agent Arthur Swanson (Edison The Proctor): Doodle and Dumpty – a marriage made in the flames of hell.  The reason why you shouldn’t underestimate any of these runners on this team, especially Snickers, is this man.  Good ol’ Humpty here.  All he knows how to do is build a few robots and program stuff.  That is, alongside being one of the most dangerous swordsmen in the world.  A high circle adept who has mastered the powers of a lost and bygone era. A man who drank from the fountain of youth and has probably been around since before humans had mastered fire.    These fuckers seem to have some sort of penchant for the past that keeps them out of touch.  Like this guy who thinks he is a Lord in England, but has lived in the UCAS for decades now.  And look – he hasn’t aged in any of his pictures!  Now I know what you are thinking – of course not he is FIP.  Well, he was already apparently that old when he got the shot! And, who is to say that is where he even gets his immortality?!  Like I said above, this guy probably got a vial from Sandman or Colonial.  You can’t assume anyone is their true age.  Case and point look at the Despicables and start running the ages and records on some of the kids – or as their true group handle the Little Indians.  The special forces of the Tribe just like the Railroad is the special forces of the Harbingers.  Edison informed Ecto to go find a few friends and begin teaching them to be a hit squad.  Everything in this order has its test, and there is nobody involved in more of the tests than the Proctor.  He sees everything as Upper School and the teenagers are only one place where he has begun his discipline.  Watch out, for if your children go missing and end up fighting this man is likely behind it.

Agent Edwin Forest (Crazy Ed): Crazy Ed huh – sounds like the crazy ones are Middle Indiana.  Anyone else notice how the FIP use their knowledge and experience to fool the public they are supposedly protecting?  Almost every single one ends up in politics.  For some it’s a mayor position, and for others its as high as the Senate or President!  For a bunch of people that were supposedly done wrong they certainly believe in the system enough to run for office.  They run on platforms that say they are good natured and care about everyone.  Yet the moment they enter they start enriching themselves and their lackeys.  Living conditions for the normal wage slave get worse.  It’s a problem rampant within the Freedom Party and the fact that this one only made it to the Mayor’s office means that he has been a member of this order for a long time.  How do I know?  Simple – he gained his Mayor status a long time ago.  Everything the Technocracy does has a test case.  It looks like this was their test.  This bastard can be blamed for all of the freedom party FIP that have infested our system to destroy us from within.  The Technocracy has been working to destabilize the UCAS for generations.  Since this man is separated (as all active under cover agents are) you can move expediently to remove him.  You have to move quickly though, for once this is live they may know his cover is blown. This broken and beaten FIP is no problem when he is alone so move fast!  You can make it and attack him before the reinforcements arrive.  Don’t let this chance slip – we don’t get many to attack these manipulative bastards!

Agent Vernon O’Regan (Ticker): Well, let us discuss the Ticker. This man is one of the top demolitions experts in the world. He is known to have trained Wa….. wait a minute. This isn’t the Original’s page. Oh holy hell, why are these two here!?@#$%^&*()_!!!!!!!!!???!?! It’s like Batman and fucking Robin, only instead of the Hall of Justice they work for whoever the current leader of the Legion of Doom is. Before now they just inhabited the Hand.  The story goes that they were recruited by a newbie to join some of their old comrades and thus the Hand had their dynamic duo.  What can one say about the Robin of this duo? Quite a bit actually! For one thing lets deal with why this guy is the Robin. Its simple. One – we all know that Whistler is a bigger badass and in this set of lovers is obviously the bigger man. Two – just like Batman Whistler is always in front of Ticker so that this man can go behind the scenes and fix the problem while the enemies deal with his buddy. After all, you never see Ticker on the front lines, you only hear his work.  What is his work you ask? Boom booms! That’s what! This guy is one of the few who can sit alongside masters like Polaris and Category 5 and the Wolverines and still claim to be the best. Granted in that group of people there are debates as to who the best is, but being amongst them is already praise beyond measure. You will never see Ticker, so there is no warning about attacking him. However, if you hear his music pray that it is because he is in the area as he is leaving and run in the complimentary direction from him. For once he is safely away whatever town/neighborhood he was in is about to receive a rude awakening….

Agent Herbert Parish (Whistler): The Batman of this group. When they have something they need done, and it can’t involve the use of actual government agents like most of these douchebags, they send the dynamic duo. Whistler heads to the front gates to distract with his signature funeral dirge and hand gun while his little butt buddy runs to place his bombs everywhere – talk about taking an explosive shit all over the place. It’s really something when you know the guy shooting you is just the showy distraction and the real danger is just behind him. Even though you know he is just the distraction, he is a damn powerful one!  You might ask “Why is he such a problem?” if you are an idiot. I will tell you – gunslinger adepts suck! Not all of the good ones are a part of the Jamestown family (though many are), and even some of the not so legendary ones are still a nightmare to deal with! They may not curve bullets, but it turns out the bullets that travel straight fucking hurt too!  What else can I say about Whistler? For one his taste in music sucks. The last thing you want to hear is a funeral dirge, and that’s just in normal everyday life! This Technocrat torments his victims and their facilities starting with their mind and then moving to the unspeakable things he does to their bodies. Riddled with holes, slashed to hell. This psychopath does it all and this is who our government is hiring to “keep us safe”?! This crap needs to stop and someone needs to kill these people. Hopefully our heroes of the Neon Church can make some inroads soon.

Agent Abbot Malone (Warrant): So who do you call when you need a more quiet removal than Ticker and Whistler?  Obviously the Horsemen hit squad that Warrants Danger for all living beings.  You see, sometimes you want a removal that nobody knows even happened.  No explosion, no distraction, just death and disappearance.  These are the men you send for that.  Warrant goes in, sneaks through all the security, and removes the target.  Once he has cleared the path his partner gets to work setting the scene and making the kill untraceable.  Nobody hears them.  Nobody knows they were there.  Sometimes, the family and friends are so afraid that they have a nervous breakdown and forget the target even existed.  Now, you might say that can’t happen and normally I would agree with you.  The weird thing is they don’t show any signs of mental illness.  My only other guess is that they have a mage with them that has some sort of mind magic that can’t be traced.  Regarding this man’s personal skill?  Its hard to be sure.  On one hand he is a horsemen and therefore he should be dangerous, but unlike most of the other Horsemen he is neither a lethal liability or one of the World’s deadliest, so he may just be extremely sneaky and not all that skilled.  Anyone who has legitimate footage of this operator should post it.  That said, as a Technocrat and Horsemen even their weakest are nightmares, so stay away.  Though to see a  Malone that sits below a pirate must be causing discord – maybe they will kill each.  Here’s to hoping!

Agent Kentucky Schwartz (Danger): So if Warrant sneaks in, what does Danger do?  Here’s the sitch – he makes it impossible to figure out what actually happened and makes the investigators follow his narrative.  The reason serial murders sometimes go unsolved isn’t because the murderer is all that smart, after all Malones are idiots, but because there is a “problem solver” making the crime look like something it isn’t.  Like a serial murderer when its just government agents of the Technocracy removing the 30 people who were at a stuffer shack when something their boss the Old Man wants covered up.  Every leader needs three things – a hand, a fist, and some fingers.  These are the fingers of Willhuff.  The fist is clearly Monty and his entourage.  The only question at this point is how many fingers does this group have….  Given they control virtually every specialized rebel agency and have connections to those they don’t my guess is a lot.  Seeing that this man is also a fixer/dealer on the level with the legendary Tang, try tripling that number.  While most people are afraid of pissing off their fixer, the fixers are afraid of pissing off the Technocracy.  Why else would the second most influential supplier go out on missions himself when he could stay home and be filthy rich.  I believe you now have your answer – you are welcome.

Agent Arnold Malone (Schoolmaster): Ah yes the Schoolmaster, a wonderful teacher and administrator….. Wait that’s Edison (just kidding – he is no school teacher either!).  Though you would think he was a principal with how defensive he always is, but he is just another of the many (all) corrupt Malone brothers.  He has never taught in a school – those records are all falsified by his handlers Alva Palpatine and Johnathan White.  All that “not my fault” here is capable of is being the public puppet.  He keeps his own nose clean so that those who use him as a front can stay in the shadows.  This is the way of the Technocracy – let those who do the dirty work place the clean agents up front.  Alva and John were taught by the master of puppeteering Dover so you can be sure that while dangerous Arnold here is aloof and clueless.  Good soldiers follow orders – and this is a good soldier.  He enacts the will of the Technocracy, a force to be reckoned with that we all should hide from.  If you can catch him off his game then take the shot, but otherwise steer clear.  The Schoolmaster’s masters of the school don’t believe in detention, only expulsion from the world of the living.

Agent Johnathan White (Hard Target):

Agent Ben Palpatine MD (Kenobi): Well now, who do we have here.  Yes, the doctor who betrays all that see him.  Obi-Wan you are our only hope!  Yeah, I see the play on words with the lightsaber wielding crazy maniacs of the Horseman and Technocracy.  Who knew that the leaders of the biggest conspiracy we have ever known had a penchant for movies.  Though I suppose that penchant has been sedated since the last star wars movie – which looked awesome by the previews – even featured them and they made sure it was quashed.  I don’t understand why they would terminate a contract worth billions of credits between ticket sales and merchandise.  Though maybe I can figure it out – maybe they realized that everyone would be awoken to the manipulations of good ol’ Kenobi here and they would lose something more valuable than money: trust.  This head shrinker relies on the trust of the mindless lambs he calls patients.  Gathering intelligence is his specialty and most of his clients simply give it away as part of their “therapy”.  This man perverts the ideals not only of the UCAS, but also the ideals of medicine and confidentiality.  Don’t trust this bastard – just run the other way. Don’t forget, everyone in this order is a monster, and this one’s father is known to have zapped a horde of dragons dead in one shot and kept walking as if nothing happened.  Two words: Run Away!

Agent Martin Burlington PhD (Figment): Welcome to the second confirmed dragon of the technocracy, though this one has little orange wings and purple skin like his namesake and wants you to believe he is only in your imagination.  That said, allow me to assure you that Dr. Burlington is very much a real threat despite what his spin doctoring would have you believe.  Like most of the arrogant sons of bitches on this list, Figment here would have you think he is just a regular law maker fighting for the good guys.  He even built a theme park you say?  Yes he did – and its one of the major funding sources for this order.  If you really want to hurt the Technocracy attacking them directly isn’t how to do it – they are prepared for that.  Attack their pockets and the politicians that are in their pocket (aside from the ones on this list).  Look at taking out the Listener or Pitbull or Captain Charisma who they obviously own and manipulate, but aren’t important/smart enough to be brought into this fold.  Do you really think that a member of the Wolf Pack like the Listener isn’t simply taking instructions from the Agent Tulius?!  Anyway – back to the imaginative one here.  What can we say besides destroy his baby (the theme park) to bankrupt the Technocracy?  I would say that you should be wary of this man because of where he gets his nickname – the fact that your family and friends will, after he kills you, think you were only a figment of their imagination.  A dream of sorts.  Have fun with that knowledge – sounds like it will bring nightmares.

Agent Robert Churchill (Sandman): All hail the mighty Sandman – the one built into the prayers of the Christian faith for all those that sleep he may remove.  Do not be fooled by the fact he is a member of the HRM – a mostly dead organization – for he truly runs the Belfast Ghosts with an iron fist.  This man is one of the European Branch’s leaders alongside a few of the others within this order that pretend to serve the Kingsman.  After all, if you are in the Technocracy then it is your only true master.  Hell, we all thought that Gargoyle served nobody but himself, and yet he serves several masters – the most important of which being here.  Back to the Sandman, this guy is a complete fucking nightmare.  First off, his favorite weapon isn’t his Kingsman blade or the lightsaber he carries (there is nobody on this list that doesn’t have one – there are just some we haven’t seen), but the diamond tipped drill that comes out of his arm.  He doesn’t use it in combat much, but when his specialty – interrogation – comes into the equation he wields it like a master violinist on a Stradivarius – only the strings are the nerves and the instrument is the poor, likely innocent, victim who serenades the performer with screams of pain and agony.  This grouping of people is neither kind nor innocent – stay away and hope someone removes them.  Praise the heroes of the Neon Church for they are our only hope!

Agent Jack Whitefield (Wembley): Here sits the king of boot hill and pirate island – Wembley himself.  This man is known as one of the top pirates of the Neverland and the progenitor of the Georgetown family’s fame, another of the biggest crime families in the UCAS.  Well, not really though – much like the Jamestowns, Grimms, and Yates they really just use marriage connections to become part of the Palpatine line in order to be part of the biggest crime syndicate that exists – The Technocracy.  All other families stem back to it and its masters Willhuff, Dover, Montgomery, and Charles.  The brothers four rule with an iron fist and this man is happy to take the pounding in exchange for money, fame, and power.  This man is happy as long as he is the king of the boot as we stated above, though maybe he should be seen for his true form which is stuck on a rock without being able to make a decision.  You see, he didn’t marry into all of these families because of his long life, it is because of his inability to make a choice.  He would get involved with one woman, and then end up falling in love with another.  Since the men of these families see their women as nothing more than breeding machines (looking at you Gargoyle) they didn’t care that the flavor of the week changed as long as he produced children for them to corrupt and bring into the fold.  It would appear that Willhuff lived vicariously through this man, so any transgressions he might have had to deal with disappeared.  When it comes to dealing with this man I suggest you pull a batman.  Get a few weighted coins that falls on their side and toss them in the air.  Wembley will be unable to move until the outcome is decided, and that will buy you enough time to run away.  Otherwise, kiss your ass goodbye.

Agent Carol Webster (Shelby): Welcome to the crazy pilot of the railroad… well one of them at least.  Actually everyone in that order is a crazy pilot.  Anyway, welcome to one of the craziest pilots I have ever seen.  This agent, Shelby, is a rigger of extreme skill and has an absolute lack of instinctual self-preservation.  Shelby is one of the many infiltrators of the Railroad hit squad that is also a member of the Technocracy.  He has been nipping at Willhuff’s heels and looking for scraps from Deacon (who is probably a member, but not discovered yet) and Monty who is the head of “recovery” ops; a code word for taking back the souls of the living for the devil himself, the insatiable hunger that is Dover Barton.  Should people cease dying Dover becomes “hungry” and from what I have heard at least a few dozen souls is the minimum to satisfy him.  Well, Shelby is happy to forage for food and has been seen assassinating and removing enemies of the technocracy and the special divisions of the Kingsmen that this Grandmaster serves.  The most concerning bit is that he serves on three of their special units!  That’s right, he serves the Circle of Kage for the Japanese Crystal Dragons, he is the first mate of the Naval Division AND the grand director of the Shadows!  I don’t know what this guy is capable of outside of his rig, but it must be quite the scene to behold if he has all of these accolades within this order of English assassins.  What’s worse is that this man, unlike many of his friends, is not plagued by joint pain or constant need of medication.  We will just have to hope he is injured in battle and then attack him while he is down.  Otherwise – run the fuck away!

Agent Reverdy Davis (Snoopy): Where are you going?  What are you doing?  These are the questions that all deckers ask, but this one more than any other.  Snoopy here isn’t just a decker, but the main undercover agent in the Freedom Patriots for the Technocracy.  Mr. Davis here also uses his contacts in the south to keep an eye on his brother and monitor the happenings below the border for his true master; nobody asks you to spy on your brothers better than Big Brother himself after all.  What else can we say about Reverdy here?  Well, he has some interesting company here.  He too, like Dover, is a dragon and therefore decides to roam the skies from time to time.  The last time we saw him in action was in some sort of spout with Lofwyr, and let’s just say this decker isn’t all bark – his bite and breath conquered the German dragon who sits atop his company and country with pride.  We don’t have much footage of any altercations when Snoopy is in his human form, but based on what he can do when transformed and what dragons like Dover can do when in human form it is best to assume that Snoopy is a nightmare upon the battlefield.  Best advice is keep your system cache cleaned to avoid the decking and if you see him – or any dragon – flying overhead I would recommend running/climbing/driving/flying/swimming away as fast as you can for you likely aren’t the target, but you will be collateral damage.

Agent Avery Webster (Mariner): Come one come all – time for some chevon!  After all, what else would you eat when discussing Avery here – the former mayor of Nantucket!  Oh who am I kidding, this man should simply be sent to the slaughter house to be eaten – no male goat gives milk after all.  This member of the Technocracy is another of their politicians hiding in plain sight.  This one in specific use to work on an old whaling vessel, and leverages his former fame to try and gain political favor.  Well, that is until people were finally tired of hearing about the stories of Moby Dick and elected a new – better mayor.  Though to be fair, any mayor is better than a member of the Technocracy.  The Goat as they call him is another of the Railroad’s death squad who hunts all that live and feeds Dover’s appetite.  He has been abducting people from Nantucket with his connections for decades and feeding them directly into Mitch’s mind control machine.  Did you ever wonder why their agents keep popping up everywhere?  It isn’t a recent recruitment drive, it is just their mind controlled subjects being activated for duty.  They have been preparing this for years and we are about to see it all come into play.  I for one am scared.  I would say run, but there is no way to know whether the suggestion is already in your head.  Best bet is to stop watching all television or just accept it as an eventuality.

Agent Gregory West (Mastodon): Another Technocrat another corrupt agent.  This one is a cop – no surprise.  By the end of this the whole PD, I mean Pack, will be revealed as part of these assholes.  According to our sources most people believe him to be an honorable, old school cop.  Well, if SPD has taught us anything every old school cop is anything but honorable.  Even based on his profile the guy has been in the business for 30 years, the killing business that is.  That’s right, this guy has been a mercenary for the Brotherhood for three decades and a cop for two.  Well, I don’t believe that.  I think he has been around a lot longer than that.  His association here gives him at least 2 or three ways to have been given immortality long before lionization.  He is likely an old school pirate who has his superiors fooled.  After all, this group seems to like the seafaring type with all of the pirates of the Blue Claw, Neverland, and probably other legendary ships we don’t even know of (according to my contacts the Horsemen are all also legendary smugglers on ships).  What we can confirm on the Mastodon is that he is a second high end agent within PP1 to help lighten the load for Tulius and the better known Wolf Pack members.  He uses his reputation and his seemingly “unwilling to bend” nature to put to rest any allegations of foul play.  He is just another wolf in sheep’s clothing, so watch out.  You have been warned!

Agent  Wesley Burns (Burnsy): Well now, here we have Hull Barrett – Montgomery’s close friend and ally.  You can think of this man as the Silencer’s right hand; Charles after all is his own set of problems.  Burn Notice here – or Burnsy as his friends call him – is known to all as one of the many high problem solvers of the Horsemen.  It isn’t clear where he sits among the leaderboard, but you can be sure that with competition like Danger in that same team you can be damned sure he is fucking incredible in a terrible way.  The other name we know him by is Inferno.  It is unclear exactly where this name came from or what event created it, but according to my contacts it is legit.  My guess is that he must have used napalm to solve a major situation at some point in his career and the name just stuck.  Like an Inferno this Grandmaster of the Kingsmen and Crystal Dragons leaves me with the impression that he is probably a tornado in combat, but since Category 5 already took that theme, he just went in a slightly different direction.  Oh, and don’t worry, he is almost certainly a Sentinel and member of the President’s Men.  After all, they let just about every Horseman onto every elite order.  Personally waiting for a Peach colored laser sword from a recently confirmed associate of this monster.  Naturally, you can assume if he is a close friend of Monty’s that he is friends with all of his buddies.  My best advice, pretend you don’t recognize him.  If he is in problem solving mode he will ignore you unless you are the problem; and if you are the problem then you are already fucked anyway.

Agent Alfred O’Bannon (Anchor): Huh, what a surprise.  Another news Anchor on the team who’s boss is best known for mind control… Certainly NOBODY saw this coming!  Close family friend to Tudor Yates, member of the Kingsmen and god knows what other orders aside from this one.  He is supposedly a Freedom Patriot, but my take is he just works here.  Lucky for you I have other takes – and one of them is that he is a member of the Colonial Marines!  Now, I know what you are thinking.  Why am I saying that like it means something?!  Well – it is time to unveil an order so hidden that it is not even on the shadow wiki yet.  That’s right, the Colonial Marines.  We only know a few of its members and none of its bosses, but they are a scary fucking unit.  When they intervene in a situation they employ technology we have never seen.  They are scary fast in responding and evacuating an area.  Even when they have a dozen or so members on site we can never find their vehicles.  Once we crack their stealth technology we will post pictures here.  Naturally, this brings up a debate which must be discussed, but we will tackle that in another member below.  Just be warned, if they show up in camo gear and not their lovely DAOD suits you and everything else in a several block radius is about to no longer exist.  They care not about life for they simply infiltrate and cleanse the area.  I would say run, but they have mages who specialize in their barriers – you will never escape.

Agent Bailey Georgetown (Pillsbury):  Here we are, one more general and the left hand of the Pale Rider.  I suppose the left is fitting since he is a shit and that’s where the left hand traditionally goes.  This immortal garbage dump is known for many things, but like the last his most precious secrets are that he is an agent here and an officer of the Colonial Marines.  Not just enlisted, but a fucking general!!!  This my friends is the key proof we needed to uncovering the link.  These Colonial Marines are nothing more than the hit squad of the Technocracy.  It explains their insane ability to seemingly know everything.  Afterall, nobody knows more than the Old Man and his cronies.  Certainly you don’t think that the founder of the President’s Men was able to find people to make lightsabers and just stopped using that technology do you?  He let his test case of these marines have a little taste and then disbursed his full arsenal to this group here.  You should assume every agent here is likely also a marine, but that has yet to be proven.  What little data we have on Baily is that he has modified his technology beyond even that of DAOD.  He fearlessly jumps into any engagement and is known as a boarding party of 1 for any vehicle that accosts him – including aircraft!!!  These fuckers are crazy – stay the hell away!