Apparent Age: 70+
Archetype: Cybered Gunsmith Adept (Cyber Criminal): Circle Unknown (Good Fucking Question……Don’t even bother trying to engage!)
Preferred Weapon: Colt .45 Revolver (Modified)
Runner Song: Here be another old timer that has returned to the game, another of the Elite within the Colonial Marines, Kingsmen, Presidents Men, Crystal Dragons and London Dungeon and member of the Santa Fe Ring……He is also a Cyber Criminal and Wasteland Outlaw that has returned to the game after a long retirement, welcome back Augustus Blarney or better known as Guinness. Okay I am not being serious here, Fuck this old timer and everything he stands for, this shit bag is a real problem for the Demure and basically anyone that enjoys the freedom of the press and speech…..this is the man they dispatch a fully trained 00 agent and one that simply looks like the “Every Grandfather” but in reality is a total heartless killing machine that has been hunting down Demure ever since our fearless leader handed over our records to the enemy.
This shit bag seriously tore the heart out of my brother simply for joining the Demure……he had just been given his first assignment and were enjoying a quick bite to eat before heading our separate ways and watched as Guinness simply emerged from the shadows all that was heard war the clicking of his hard leather soles on the pavement and that damned cane…….my bro asked if he assist the old geezer find his car and Guinness playing the confused grandpa stuttered his speech and accepted my brothers aid. As soon as my brother turned his back this fucker punched right through his back and chest and was holding my bro’s heart, he showed my brother the heart and stated “It’s truly heartbreaking that someone so young is so dumb” and than he crushed it like grapefruit and pulled his arm out of my brother……..I took off and called the police from a safe and secure location like inside the bar.
The police said there wasn’t a damned thing they could do as they had zero physical evidence of the murder and refused to open an investigation into Old Man Blarney, I mean seriously how much evidence do they need besides an eyewitness to murder and I was more than willing to testify against this bastard. He has killed numerous Demure and our allies with zero repercussions, he took our replacement leader live on a video conference……he appeared behind our new boss as he dictated the current listings to us…….we all were screaming behind you and before he could react Old Man Blarney would punch straight through his skill his fist coming out holding the brain and spinal cord………he just muttered “Well just like I suspected, an underdeveloped brain for a bloody fool.” We in the Demure sent the video to the police and again we were told they were going to do nothing, no case, no investigation as the evidence was simply circumstantial.
One of our guys said we should contact the FBI and well you can guess how well that went and guess what…..he is now missing as well and nothing has been done about it, we in the Demure are everywhere but it seems Old Man Blarney has had our number and is sending our friends and family to an early grave in a very brutal and bloody manner. This man does not care about justice and this man has no honor as he is murdering members of the media for simply reporting the truth, and ever since we have aligned with Quan Chi for information and aid the slayings have simply increased. So again I really hate this bastard, I have so much evidence of Old Man Blarney murdering my friends and colleagues but yet nothing is being done to stop him, Quan Chi stated that he sadly can’t interfere with Old Man Blarney unless it’s within a tournament……Seriously what the fuck!
Quan Chi stated that Old Man Blarney and Caps assaulted there palace many years ago when a coalition force was engaged with Shao Khan and his forces, they not only managed to defeat the Emperors Elite Guards they destroyed the stone calendar…..I don’t give a fuck about some ancient calendar and some tournament…..I want this creepy blue skinned fucker to protect us from a madman that is butchering the Demure at an alarming rate, I mean it’s starting to affect our recruiting process. I mean this man is supposed to be a gunsmith and not a brutal hand to hand fighter, he is a fucking elderly man and he plays that role perfectly portraying himself off as the “Every Grandfather” and than when your fucking distracted he finishes you off with a beyond deadly and disgusting fatality.
I mean there is evidence of him driving his fingers and hands into somebody and tearing open a hole allowing the the organs to spill out and looking through the hole with only the spine keeping the body upright and doing the creepy “Here’s Johnny” from the Shinning…..yes I have seen that classic movie. This man has Quan Chi nervous, we asked the elders about him before they were killed by the Hunters and Wasteland Outlaws all they said was stay the hell away and don’t poke that bear, for he is Dawn Guard and he needs to be avoided at all costs. Mary Sue simply retorted Hell Fucking No!! I am not fucking with one of the Huntsmen of the Wild Hunt, nope not happening can’t pay me enough, McGowan simply avoided the question and Legion and Salazar well they want nothing to do with this Huntsmen and Avatar Slayer. Even Father Bastion and Elijah stated this man is a courier and needs to be taken down before he reunites with Caps, and the two pick up where they left off……they thank the glowing sands that both of those fuckers retired and hope that that something called the NCR put 17 and 35 in the ground as BOS and Enclave don’t have enough resources to handle either of them once they unite again…….Father Bastion stated that for Fucks Sake Courier number 35 is an Old World Gunsmith as well a handler of the deadly and dangerous…….they state that he managed to defeat an Alpha Death Claw and than break the beasts will, he managed to overtake one of the Wastelands deadliest species and dominate it to were it saw him as the Alpha.
Caps number 17 was able to defeat the Albino Claws and other beasts of the glowing sands, if he can take down a claw our power armor wont be enough to stop either of them let alone if they reunite and pick up where they left off. The only good thing is that these men are hated in the Wastes and no faction will accept them besides the Couriers…..they they do state that 17 is the serious threat and problem, 35 is bad enough but he is like the rest of them Extremely Dangerous but don’t ever dance with 17 for even the Divide bowed down to that courier and he was able to walk the 127 a god…….they do state that Guinness is force to be reckoned with as he stormed the Enclaves Big Mountain with the other couriers and fended off the advances of the Enclave and forcing the Big Mountain to seal itself away or face total annihilation……again I have no idea what they are talking about, but I can understand that if they say this man is dangerous cause I have witnessed Old Man Blarney in action more times than I care to count.
Legion states that Guinness was once a harpooner of the Nevermore and Neverland before taking to land and fighting within basically every conflict of modern times…..and when he says modern he means basically everything from the 1700’s forward, though he does state that he would join the FIP come 1850 and serve alongside the rest of those cast of characters. He worked with Q-Bert, Defrag, and Knuckles to keep President Butler safe and secure during his two terms as President of Hawaii and serves within the Hawaiian Chapter of the Crystal Dragons, he worked as a field reporter for Addison Mayweather and……………………………………………………….Found You